Tomorrow Is Today
by Morgoth-SK
Summary: A complex and powerfull look at the events of Far Cry 4 and its story, especially at Ajay's and Noore's fate...this is a realistic and emotional explanation of things that would have probably/possibly happened if Ajay acted more dominantly and saved Noore after he faced her with the news about her family. Also, the story is written from Ajay's POV to give it a more realistic touch.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Shoot The Messenger**

A beautiful morning in Kyrat, the Sun is shining and all the parts of the nature are glistening, honey badgers are fearless, rhinos are being aggressive, and everything is as it should be. And what am I doing? I'm heading to Shanath to fulfil the will of Sabal…or was it Amita? I can't even remember who gave me the order to get rid of Noore. It seems that I am following their orders blindly. I clearly remember from one of them that she has to be gone, either way it's gonna be prosperous for the Golden Path and for Kyrat itself, they said. Me?...I was not sure about their decision at all, I even protested a little, mentioning the fact that Noore did all those things because of her family was being held captive by Paul. As I drove in that pitiful truck on the dirty Kyrati roads to Shanath, all I could think about was how am I gonna assess this situation…the fact was, that I didn't want to assassinate the woman at all. When I heard her part of the story, how she has always hoped that by doing all those cruel things to all the people in the arena she would free her family, I immediately felt sorry for her and wanted to help her. She had such a different spirit, something just told me from the start, that she was somewhat special in her own way and that she wasn't just some senseless killer that worked for Pagan. I decided not to kill her and to try to confront her and possibly try to solve this mess that creeped like a plague in this country.

When I arrived at Shanath, everything seemed pretty much usual. The crowd was getting ready for the next pair of rounds at the arena, the narrator was starting to get crazy as usual, and the topless painted girls greeted me with their challenging quotes about being strong enough to be the best in the arena. I got the Intel from Sabal and Amita that Noore is gonna be present in the arena today as usual and coordinate the rounds herself. I knew where's she's gonna stand, and with this information I looked for an access into the arena, to be exact to access the top floors. I had this strange gut wrenching feeling that this day is going to change my life probably forever. I didn't know why, I did many not so nice things for Sabal and Amita before, why did I feel different this time? Did feel something towards the woman? Of course I felt some form of sympathy, but that was it, nothing more. I hoped that this is gonna end up well, and that she's not gonna do something stupid. Knowing the fact that her family is gone, I felt even more connected to her. I myself didn't know my father at all, and my mother had died few months back so my situation was similar to hers. I was alone. I didn't think that Sabal or Amita could ever become more to me than some kind of weird unexpected acquaintances/friends. Hell I have always felt connected more with Bhadra or Longinus. Or even with Hurk, and that is something to be said, considering that the guy is a smelly, stinking, Texan style weirdo with strange fetish for monkey and elephant statues. And I'm not even thinking about his strange somewhat/sometimes homosexual behaviour. On the other hand there was Pagan, who was always unpredictable in his own way, and I still didn't know what to expect from him. Paul, or if you wish De Pleur – that was a chapter on his own. I believed he was a caring dad and probably a relatively normal guy when he was around his daughter in the US, but here…here he changed into a sadistic psychopath who enjoyed torturing people. Yuma – she still remained mysterious to me, but I knew not to expect something good from a pinkish Chinese looking woman, who ran Pagan's elite troops. And then there was Noore…she didn't fit into the whole puzzle…I knew she was fierce and independent, but something inside me was telling me, that from the way she looked, talked and presented herself, there was something broken inside her, and that she was just devastated how her life has turned out, and that she wasn't naturally bad or cruel in any means, and that she needed some comfort, someone to talk to, someone to understand her, and the most obvious for me was that she wanted to get away from all this as quickly as she would be able to. The way she talked about her family, the desperation in her voice, the firm look that her eyes held, that was something that intrigued me from the first moment that I met her. And now, now I was on my way to confront her with literally everything possible…her screaming at me and throwing me into the arena, her ordering her guards to kill me, I can't even imagine what her reaction will be, but I somehow hope, that it's all gonna turn out well for her and me.

Getting to the ventilation shaft that was the only way to access to upper part of the arena was easy with my climbing gear. As I climbed through the shaft I heard the voices of at least two soldiers… 'Shit', I thought to myself. 'I'm gonna have to make it quietly'. I put out my Kukri (blade) and threw a rock down to the right side of the corridor, behind a pile of boxes. The guard went to check out the sound, that's when I sprinted from my hiding spot and performed a takedown, slicing his throat and killing him instantly. The other guard had no chance to react as I quickly did almost the same process on him, with the difference of hearing the sound of the blade thrusting out from his stomach. I approached the control room and killed the only guard that was controlling the panel that opened the heavy metal doors that allowed the animals to rampage on the poor souls that were in the arena. I pressed few of the buttons and just after seconds I witnessed a honey badger slaughtering a soldier, a rhino charging to a bear and a leopard that was on fire, and was running around the arena, trying to find something to release his rage on. The crowd seemed to enjoy the show, but someone other didn't seem to be amused by the fact that the show was not controlled so well anymore... Noore's angered fierce voice could be heard through the com speaker. "Stop that idiot that is doing all this…he is in the control room. Turn off that damn gates, and kill that fucking bastard who tried to destroy my arena!" I immediately sprinted from the room, to be confronted with at least 8 soldiers who started firing bullets all over the place that were directed at me. However most of them didn't have a chance to hit me, the guards reminded me of Stormtroopers from the Star Wars movies that I've seen a few times back in the US. After quickly dealing with them using my STG – 90, I patched myself with a healing syringe and finally headed out to confront Noore.

I ran as fast as I could through the arena to try to find her. She usually resided on the stone protrusion, from where she could oversee the bloodbath bellow her. I turned around the corner, to find myself hearing the voice of the crowd stronger and stronger and the end of the corridor, I finally spotted the one who I had to consider as my target…Noore.

She stood firmly on the edge, looking at the crowds and probably waiting for a response from the guards that were sent to investigate the control room. Her jet black hair fell down freely on her back her posture firm as always looking like a commanding goddess. As I approached her from behind the same weird feeling, has resurfaced in my stomach, signalling that whatever is gonna happen in the next few moments is not going to left me untouched. Slowly I cut the short path to Noore and put my hand on her shoulder. She immediately turned around and faced me with those dark brown orbs of hers. But what I saw in her eyes was not something that I had expected. It wasn't a look that you would expect from a woman that is publicly hated in Golden Path and described as a mad killer with thirst for blood. No, I saw fear and I saw hope. Mix of fear and hope glistened in her eyes. "Ajay, is my family okay?"…I knew this question would come. But hearing her voice, just so broken and full of fear, my heart almost broke after hearing that...and again is the gut wrenching feeling present, and now in my heart. I continued to hold her shoulder firmly to steady her and stop her doing something stupid. "I'm sorry Noore, they were executed years ago." After hearing that I could see that she broke down and started crying openly in front of me. I had to hold her on her shoulder, but despite that she fell down completely. "I'm really sorry…" And I honestly was sorry for her in that moment. It was painful to see her hearing news like this. After a few of her sobs she looked at me and said angrily "I don't want your pity! I wanted my family back! I don't have anything to live for anymore….all these people I have killed…I feel sick…everything I did, I did it because I held a glimmer of hope that my family is still alive, but with them gone, I am nothing…I want to die now" "No, don't say that Noore. You are finally free from this burden, you don't need to run this arena anymore, and you also don't need to do the other horrible stuff" "Ajay, you don't understand," she cut me off loudly "the hope that my family is still alive, was the only thing that kept me alive, and also the source of my excuse for doing all this. What am I free from? From all the people I have killed over the years? All the families and lives that I've destroyed?" I listened to her, and couldn't believe what she said…what is she indenting to do? "Noore, there are still things in life…wait, what are you doing?" I noticed that she tried to grab my blade and pull it out from its sheath, but I quickly just in time, stopped her by holding her strongly with my other hand on her wrist. "LET GO! Why are you doing this?! You should have just killed me!" She yelled at me. I looked at her with my eyes fully concentrated on her. "I wasn't planning on killing you from the start. I know that you are somewhat different, and that you didn't do all these things on purpose. I know the pain, when you lose your loved ones, your family." Her breathing calmed down and she was looking at me with her dark orbs and a wide – open expression on her face. I felt victorious, and a new, unknown feeling, filled deep inside me, when I realized that I had convinced her to not do anything stupid to herself. "Come with me". I dragged her back off of the stone protrusion with my hand still on her wrist trough the corridor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Feeling Of Anguish**

"Could you please let go of my hand?" I looked behind me, to see Noore's questioning, and to be honest slightly aggravated look on her face. I spaced out for a second, before I noticed that I still held her wrist firmly in my hand. "Yeah, sure…" I replied and let go of her hand, to which her response was only a loosely visible frown on her face. I concentrated my look on her as she straightened out her arms and fixed her dress. Quickly deciding to get on with our journey I continued to walk down the corridor of the Arena, with the voice of the seemingly unpleasant crowd echoing behind us.

The only sound, aside from the crowd that was still present in the arena was the sound of my rugged boots and Noore's traditional sandals clapping on the stone floor. Noore was very quiet all the way down to her part of the arena complex. I could clearly sense that she was obviously not feeling well. It was like leading the way for a devastated human being who had nothing to live for. And honestly, that would be the best description for her in this situation. But I already had my mind set on changing that. I truly believed that she was different. Something inside me was telling me to try to help her, to maybe heal her broken inside or just provide a comforting friend's hand – wait, exactly when have I started to consider her being my friend…anyway this whole weird you could call it feeling that I had was really confusing and I knew for sure that I only had this feeling when I was thinking about Noore's cruel faith and about her as a matter of fact. I could feel her stiffen hardly when we walked by all the corpses of the soldiers that I had killed just minutes ago. As we neared the entrance to her part of the complex, or you can call it the area where she resided, she held her right hand in the air to clear to confusion on the faces of the topless ladies. "Don't ask, it's fine" she quickly commanded them. I was relieved that we didn't encounter any more guards, because I can't image her explaining to Pagan's soldiers, why exactly she was walking calmly behind the enemy no. 1 in the arena that belonged to her. When we neared the end of the corridor that was leading to her apartment I slowed down to give Noore a signal, that she should be the one to decide what's next. What she did next honestly didn't surprise me. She quickly flew by my side and pushed both parts of the heavy wooden door apart with force.

"Damn it! This was not supposed to happen!" She pulled down the golden tiara from her forehead and threw it at the opposite stone wall. It broke into several pieces. "And now this damn thing…screw this!" She angrily stomped her foot on the ground and smashed her hands with her palms open on the wooden table that stood near the place where the pieces of the once magnificent golden tiara were scattered. With her head lowered down she started cursing under her breath. "What's gonna happen if Pagan hears about this…FUCK!...and Paul is surely going to tell him that I already know that my family is dead and that Pagan has nothing on me to hold me here in this hell." "But that's positive, isn't it? As I already told you, with this you can finally get away from all this, you can be free!" I replied, trying to sound positive. "You should have let me kill myself there!...You can't understand what I feel, DAMN YOU!" She started punching me on my chest with both of her hands, pushing all her strength to unleash her emotions. "Why…why Ajay….tell me why would you save someone like me?" By now she started sobbing and her whole body has started to shaken heavily. "I see something different in you. Your eyes tell me that you were really desperate to see your family. You were not doing this just for fun. I don't believe that. Even when you threw me into the arena, you told me you have hidden my blade for me down there. Your eyes held something gentle in them. I just don't believe you're a bad person at all" I grabbed both of her arms feeling her body refusing to move, and pushed her on her wooden chair, that had some kind of a red velvet cover on it, so she could calm down. Tears streamed freely down her face as she tried to calm down, and her hiccups got only noisier when I put my hands on her shoulders. After letting her release her emotions for a while, I tried to talk to her softly. "It's gonna be fine, I promise…I'm gonna help you" She sobbed loudly turning her tear strained face to me. "No it's not gonna be fine!" She yelled angrily. "I don't have my family anymore, there's nothing on this world for me to live for! You can't ever know the pain that I have gone through…and now knowing that it was for nothing, that everything is lost for me. You can never know that!" She gritted the sentence through her teeth, her eyes displaying an angry fire in them. "I am nothing now…" Her tears dropped on the stone floor with her hair sticking to the sides of her face. "And by the way how exactly are you gonna help me?" She tried to sound ironic as much as she could, like her tongue was filled with some poison that was called hopelessness. "How? I am a damaged, old wreck of a woman that has lost everything" Her voice got quieter by saying this and her sobbing and hiccups stopped. She kept her head down. After hearing all this I knew that I would have to come up with something good to convince her that she still has things to live for. I decided to let her calm down a bit waiting for a few minutes, it felt like hours actually, thinking about the best answer possible for banishing all the demons that plagued her mind in that moment. "I do honestly think and feel that there are still things in life to live for. And I think this goes for your life too. I know that losing your dear ones, your closest family is probably the worst thing that can happen, but do you think they would be happy if you would have took your life just like that? If they would have seen you doing that? I know that pain…I lost my mother, she was the only close person I had in my life and I had to overcome that. I know that in your case it is different, but I still believe that giving up is not an option. Never." I saw her stir, obviously listening to every single of my words, but I didn't give her any chance to retort as I used my dominance in this particular moment and continued on. "And about that damaged old wreck of a woman. You really think that? You are definitely not anything of what you mentioned. All the people that have visited the arena…do you think they only looked at you because of fear and some kind of obedience? No, they looked at you with desperation and admiration in their eyes. They sought your power, your charm and beauty, your ability to control so much in so little time." I hoped that all my words had at least some positive effect on her. "You really think that Ajay?" I could almost see the corners of her mouth twist into a small bittersweet smile as I crouched down to her level, her long hair covered her now pale face. Almost smelling the faint scent of her hair, I put my hand under her chin and raised her face to look at me to see the tear strained cheeks and puffy eyes. "I will do whatever it takes for you to feel better. Remember, Paul and Pagan and others may have taken many things from you, but they haven't managed to take your dignity and your real self that you had to hide for the safety of your family." "My family…" At the mention of this, the tears managed to find their way into her eyes again. "Hey, Noore, look at me…no more crying, OK?" ….. "Okay…I'll try." She replied softly. I studied her features for a while. Although her make – up and eye liner were spilled a bit due to her crying, she still had those delicate features. That kind of I would say unique delicacy – that was a part of her that caught my eye someway from the start.

"Ajay, please tell me…did the Golden Path…." she caught her breath supressing all of her sadness that accumulated inside her "did they sent you to kill me?" I sighed heavily, knowing the answer would not be a pleasant one. "Yes they did. But," I raised my voice when I saw her opening her mouth, "I was against the idea of killing you. I tried to convince Sabal and Amita, that everything what you did, you did because your family was being held captive." "But they still insisted on getting rid of me right?" "Yeah they did, but I have already made up my mind when I headed here how exactly I would solve this problem – that I would confront you and try to save you from all of this." I replied firmly. "I doesn't matter now, what matters is that you are here and alive, and that you are gonna get better, you can rely on me with that." Trying to raise someone's spirit was probably not my best feature at all, but here with Noore…I felt like I could give it a chance. And also there was this strong feeling that it's gonna work on her and that she's….worth it. "Thank you Ajay." For the first time I saw a very small, tiny sincere smile on her face as she said those words. In that moment I felt, that I'm gonna make Noore smile more, because she definitely deserves it, and it fits her more, than to be stressed and angry at everything. "That's better, see? No more arena bloodbaths, no more concerns about getting a new pair of aggressive rhinos for the upcoming match, no more drug trafficking, no more yelling at dumb Pagan soldiers." She smiled softly opening her full red lips a little and I immediately loved that sight. I honestly don't know why, but this woman and all her antiques seemed so unique and infatuating in some ways to me, that I just couldn't explain it why. As her rosy red lips formed that smile I could feel my heart melt. "But what are you going to tell to Amita and Sabal?" Now it was my turn to put a smirk on my face and look at her. "Leave that to me. They don't need to know that you are alive. They are easily convinced. But just for your own safety, don't venture too much out of your personal parts of the arena, people might see you and the word will get to the Golden Path that you are still alive. And you know what would happen in that scenario." I explained. "Yeah, I understand." "And another thing…." She fixed her eyes on mine. I notice that now somewhere deep in them, they held that gentle expression. "Let Pagan and Yuma think, that you are dead as well. They will believe that the Golden Path has taken over this place, and won't invest their time and power to take this place down, with you presumably lost." "I agree. I will try to stay hidden here as much as possible." She replied glancing her eyes down and put a few strands of her hair behind her ear.

I knew by now that my time was done, and that she probably needed some privacy for herself only. "I will leave you to yourself now okay? I'm gonna head out to meet Sabal and Amita and inform them about the results of my mission. So you follow everything that we said here and rest now, OK?" She shook her head and added "Thank you Ajay, thank you for everything that you have done for me today. I really appreciate your honesty and the fact that you have not given up on me like I did on everyone else, including me." She paused for a few moments exhaling quietly, forming her thoughts. "I guess I will see you again?" Again there was that very slight beautiful smile although I could still see the sadness and the bittersweet accent behind it. "Oh, you should be damn sure about it" I said enthusiastically. She laughed a bit again. "I'm glad. Take Care." "You too" I replied softly.

When I was almost at the door Noore call out to me one last time "And Ajay, I haven't forgotten about my promise from earlier. I will still get you to Yuma and Pagan." I half smiled. "Don't worry about that now. Have a rest." I waved my hand a bit and she replicated my gestures as I closed the door behind myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Moving Forward**

The chilly Kyrati air woke me up from my little reverie, as I ventured out of the long corridor that led to Noore's apartment part of the Shanath. I immediately noticed that almost all of the people that gathered here before have left and only a few of them still remained by the lake doing some classic Kyrati religious stuff, that I have never seemed or even wanted to understand. Although I supported Sabal as the leader of the golden path, and respected his religious visions of future Kyrat I've never wanted to fit into the whole picture. Hell, few weeks back, I was only a guy that wanted to scatter his mother's ashes on Lakshmana. I haven't forgotten about that but all the events that followed my kind of a crazy arrival were pretty much an accident. Or that's what I believed. Getting involved in some raging civil war against a weird, homosexual psychopathic leader of this country that I had met when I arrived here was not exactly my cup of tea, if you would have asked me about such things back when I was in the US. Kidnapping a sadistic guy who had a family in the States, solving the ongoing issues between Sabal and Amita and now this. Saving and ultimately helping a woman, who on first sight reminded me of some cruel 1st grade teacher that enjoyed torturing her students only to reveal, that she is just a puppet in Pagan's hands and that all these things that she has committed over the years were done just to save her family, whom she believed were still alive. Not to mention the fact she was extremely intriguing and catchy….what am I thinking, shit…..that's not something that I should come up with. Definitely not. But just admitting that she could probably catch every men's eye was not too exaggerated. Ahhh, I need to clear my thoughts. Hopefully visiting Sabal, Amita and informing them about the results of my "mission" will help that. "I hope that you're gonna be fine…" I whispered to myself as I walked down the stone stairs to the other side of the lake where my truck was parked.

The sound of two strong voices arguing, was the first thing that attracted my attention when I hopped down from my truck just meters in front of the central house in Banapur. I saluted few of the soldiers that were leaning casually against the wall of the house. "Hey Ajay, good to see you" "You too" I replied. "The two are arguing again?" I asked knowing the answer already. "Your guess is right brother…we don't even know what caused them to have this argument" The guard replied in his strong Kyrati accent. "Yeah, I can manage to live with that, I'm used to getting headaches from those two" I half laughed saying this, knowing that those two are like fire and water and managing them is harder than trying to lift up the obviously failing Kyrati economy with its hyper inflating monetary system. "Good luck Ajay"…. "Thanks" I said before pushing the door open to find Sabal and Amita yelling at each other, about God knows what, even using some lines in their traditional Kyrati language. Yes, this was the reality of the Golden Path and its leadership. Like a two headed elephant. Except one of the heads belongs originally to a rhino and not to an elephant.

"And you want to change this country into some drug filled crack house!" Sabal yelled madly. "At least we will be prosperous and have funds to build schools, roads, hospitals and other conveniences that this country lack". When I saw Amita's anger plastered on her face I almost regretted my decision coming here to clear my mind from all the "Noore stuff". "Oh Ajay brother, you're back" Sabal finally noticed me and greeted me properly in his typical friendly way. "Sorry about this mess, but you know that we have different views on how to run this country here with Amita. Isn't that right Amita?" Sabal asked with all the irony possible in his voice. "Of course you're right my dear Sabal. We have very, very different opinions on many, many things. Oh and Ajay, good to see you in tact by the way". "Good to see you too" I replied quietly, almost too afraid to interfere this heated discussion. "How did it go with Noore Ajay?" asked Amita in her commanding voice with her eyebrows raised. At the mention of Noore I almost immediately recalled her delicate features with her puffy red eyes, tear strained cheeks, and I involuntarily started to smell the faint scent of her hair in the air around me. "Yeah, Ajay tell us what happened" I heard Sabal talking to me and could feel his hand on my shoulder in a friendly manner. "Ajay, are you okay?" Sabal asked me again. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" "You were staring into the room with a blank expression on your face" Amita answered me in a slightly irritated way, which wasn't very unnatural for her. "Umm, sorry. What did you want to know?" I asked both of them in a confused way. "We asked you, how it went with Noore today" Amita stated with her look focused solely on my eyes. "Oh that….Noore….well everything went pretty much as I had wanted, nothing unexpected happened. She was in the arena as you informed me earlier" I lied. "Is she dead?" Asked Sabal with hope clear in his voice. "Believe me, you won't ever see her again" "But is she really dead?" Amita cut me off. I trailed off my eyes for a few seconds before replying "Yes, don't worry." Sabal exhaled loudly and Amita smiled a bit and added "You did a good thing Ajay, for this country, for its people, for Sabal, for me, for everyone. Besides, that bitch didn't deserve to live." I gulped heavily and tried to not express my disapproval with Amita's words. Sure, Noore did her part of mistakes, but she was not definitely someone that fitted Amita's description. "Now now, Amita, don't need to be so harsh. Can't you see that Ajay had to risk his life again for our cause? But Ajay, look at me…I agree with Amita, that it's definitely a good thing for Kyrat that that woman is gone" Sabal explained calmly. "Sorry that my anger got the better of me, but I…you know me…" When I heard Amita's response, I almost burst out loud with laughter, it was so rare to see Amita admit her own mistake or some other flaw. "Anyway, we can't thank you enough Ajay. Everything you have done for this place is already showing now. With continual work and support we will finally soon be free of Pagan's wrath" "Amita is right brother. Without you, we wouldn't have accomplished so much in such a short period of time. You are the true reincarnation of your father. Mohan Ghale." Sabal's words gave me back the calm mood that vanished after Amita's aggressive bashing words targeted at Noore. I just didn't think that she ever deserved such kind of treatment. I know that Amita would probably retort in her salty voice 'Think about all those victims in the arena, how she treated them'. But she did that because Pagan manipulated her, like his own puppet, and corrupted her into running all this drug business and arena fights with her still believing that her family is alive somewhere. It is true that she seized that position, but I somehow have always understood Noore, from the very beginning after telling me her side of the story, the family part mainly. Maybe I understood her because I would honestly do the same, if was in her position. And to add to this, I felt connected to her somehow and believe it or not, after today's events, I trusted her. "I would be better off with him being more the reincarnation of Ishwari than Mohan, but as you say Sabal. Most important thing is that Ajay is here with the Golden Path." These two are gonna be the death of me some day, I thought. "I will do whatever it takes to help. You both know that right?" "Yes brother, and it's good to hear that from you again". "We need you Ajay, keep that on mind okay?" I looked at Amita and shook my head motioning that I'll be leaving now. They both seemed to understand my body language. "Take care Ajay" Amita bid her farewell and with Sabal tapping his hand a few times on my shoulder I wordlessly took my cue and left the building.

A 10 minute ride. That was what I needed to take me to the Ghale's homestad. Or should I call it my place now? My home? I still don't know. I know that my father lived here, possibly with my mother and with me when I was young, but then my mother fled to the States and my father…died, at least that's what I know, probably during some honourable mission. I just can't seem to attach myself to this place. Despite knowing that it practically belongs to me now. After my daily evening routine, I crashed on my bed and decided before I fell sleep that I will go to see Noore – but not tomorrow, but the day after. I need to give her some time just for herself, but I'm gonna definitely keep my promise that I gave her. After all she looked like she's gonna look forward to seeing me again. 'Yeah, the day after tomorrow will be good. I look forward to see her reaction when I'll stop by and say hello'. Something is just really pulling me to that woman. Hopefully either Sabal or Amita won't suspect anything. Especially the fact that Noore is alive and well.

Throughout the whole next day I felt very eager…maybe nervous? I couldn't simply describe it in just one word. I knew that I had to give Noore some private time, to rest and collect her own thoughts. But every single time when my mind drifted off to her, I always started to feel somewhat afraid if something bad hadn't happened to her. What if the Golden Path discovered that what I told Amita and Sabal was in fact a pure lie? That the cruel fate that was intended for Noore from the Golden Path was not fulfilled? Don't get me wrong, I agreed with all their goals, I just didn't agree with the need of getting Noore out of the way. In different moments, when I felt as concerned as when I thought about losing the trust of the Golden Path and the possibility of Noore's secret being uncovered, I imagined what would happen if Yuma or Pagan got the word that Noore knows about her family and that she's still alive. They would definitely try to kill her. Seeing her as a potential threat, alive, knowing the only reason that kept her loyal to Pagan is now gone…in their minds, she could pass some of their future plans and Intel to the Golden Path. All of this just harvested my mind throughout the day. All of my anxiety was finally resolved when I arrived at the Shanath, almost exactly two days after I came here to confront Noore. The light rays of the morning sun blinded my eyes, and I was reminded of the ancient beauty of the arena for a second. The place looked deserted. Only few of the Kyrati folks were present. As I moved quickly, already trying to get rid of my anxiety to see Noore, I could clearly hear two men talking. "Have you heard about it? Noore hasn't been seen for two days. And Ajay Ghale from the Golden Path was seen here two days ago." The guy stated this to the other one. "Really? You think he killed her?" questioned the other man curiously. "Exactly. That's what I'm telling you. The Arena has always been packed with people here. The guards were always present to guard her. And I don't even wanna talk about the frequency of the matches. Noore wanted the public to see her. To be afraid of Pagan. None of this happened in the last days. At least it's unusual. But in the best case scenario…we can only hope that she is gone." "I wish that too. Although I didn't necessarily wished her death, despite everything she did, the best thing for us would be if she was gone." 'Those guys seemed pretty reasonable' I thought. 'But thank god…she is ok and apparently didn't do anything stupid.' Anyway time to go see Noore. "Is that you Ajay Ghale?" I turned around to see one of the men greeting me enthusiastically. "Yeah, that's me." My breathing quickened, I knew he was gonna ask about Noore. I was anxious enough to go see her, and now this. Putting my hands casually in my pockets I eyed the guy. "Brother, tell me, is it true what people say, that Noore is dead? That you killed her?" I bit my lip hardly. My stomach flipped inside me and I put a convincing mask on my face. "You heard the truth. She is dead. I did it…I killed her…..actually, I'm here right now to check on the place…you know" I stuttered a bit "Sabal and Amita sent me." "Thank you for the confirmation. You made my day better brother." the guy smiled. I smiled back and quickly turned on my heel not wanting to continue this bizarre conversation and headed to the large wooden front door that led to Noore's apartment. I noticed that the large circles that were used as a substitution for doorknobs here were connected with a metal chain that was tied in a loose knot. 'This was definitely the work of the guards, when they left the place' I thought. I loosened the chain easily with the leather gloves I had on my hands, pushing the heavy door open. I took down my gloves, deciding not to wear them for now. First thing I noticed was the missing torches that illuminated the corridor. 'I hope that she isn't cold or something'…. 'Wait when did I start to care for her that much' 'Forget it Ajay'. The other thing that I noticed was the overall….mess. All the wooden chest were open, some of them with obvious force, the baskets were turned all over the place. Someone was plundering this place, or really releasing their massive rage here. It looked like after some crazy drug filled summer festival. 'Has something happened to her?...Oh no' I ran as fast as I could to only see the door to her apartment slightly ajar, warm light emanating from inside. I exhaled and quietly pushed the right wing of the door to glide inside. And there she was. All safe and sound sitting down at the heavy table scribbling something to a book…or was it a diary? I smiled to myself. The room seemed untouched. I stood at the entrance for a moment before I decided to make my presence known. "Ehmmmm…." I cleared my throat. She turned around abruptly, fear present in her eyes for a second, when she smiled, her eyes changing from fear to release immediately. "Ajay!...I'm so glad you're here!" I smiled seeing the gentle smiled plastered on her face mixed with a slightly visible excitement. She quickly closed her red book, or whatever you wanna call it where she was writing just seconds ago. I noticed it had some golden carving on the front that was pressed to a smooth red cover, probably leather. She noticed me looking at the object on her table. "Did I interrupt you in something important?" I asked smirking. She breathed visibly before smiling fully again "No, definitely not. I was just…scribbling some things down." "Like what?" I was really getting amused by teasing her a bit. "Just some of my thoughts. Women do have their secrets, and they need to share them with somebody or something – like with a diary. I, for example, have my own personal…you could call it book, where I have written down some of my thoughts from the last few years." She replied trying to play her own game. "Like a diary?" I discovered that I could freely and openly talk to her. "Stop it Ajay, no more questions" she laughed and slapped me lightly on my shoulder as she walked by me and put her "presumably" diary in the wooden drawer. As she walked by me I could clearly smell the same faint smell that I felt last time. "I hoped you would come yesterday" she raised her hand into the air when I tried to retort "BUT, I knew that you probably had a lot to do…I understand don't worry" She smiled at me a bit and I had a chance to fully look at her. I noticed she didn't have any make – up on, no eyeliner, same goes for her red lipstick and her long black hair looked dishevelled. She had on the same clothes, that I had seen her wear two days ago, just a bit more wrinkled at some parts. Her cheeks still looked a bit puffy, her eyes were bloodshot and I noticed the dark circles under on the upper part of her cheeks. All of this caused the freckles that lightly peppered her nose and her cheeks a little just under eyes to be more visible. I also noticed for the first time her small birthmark beside her upper lip on the left side. All in all she looked she didn't get much sleep and probably cried a lot. "Believe me I wanted to give you some private time…I believe you needed to clear your thoughts on your own, but now I'm here and you have someone to talk to. Hopefully I am not as boring and dull as I sometimes think I am". Again, that beautiful smile. "I haven't had anyone to really talk to for years. You are the first in years Ajay. And honestly I wouldn't want anybody else. I wouldn't choose better if I had the chance." She replied softly. Her words warmed my heart. It spread like a hot liquid inside me. "I'm glad, you don't know how."

We looked at each other for a few seconds before Noore showed me to sit on her couch as she did the same and sat beside me. Not too close, but not too far away. I pressed my back on one of the soft hand sewn small pillows. "How have you been feeling?" I asked rather quietly trying to prove her that she can tell me anything that has been bothering her. She exhaled with her eyes down obviously trying to compose her thoughts. "I….I haven't slept very much…as you can see…I have been mostly thinking, as you can imagine." When I kept quiet and looking at her she got this as a que for her to continue. "I'm trying to find my way…out of this mess that I have gotten myself into a few years back. I know I can't just earn the forgiveness of everybody with a snap of my fingers and I am not sure if I even want the forgiveness of others. I know the things that I have done were very bad, but I have done them for my family, for them only. I don't want anyone's pity no that is not my thing. Call me proud or arrogant, maybe that's the way I am. I fought for me and my family. I didn't do all those things willingly. You know that Ajay. I'm not evil or something like that. Pagan, he may be called evil, but not me. Every time my thoughts drift off to my family, the tears find their way back into my eyes." She sighed heavily and continued "You know, I have always felt, during these years here, during those lonely cold nights, when I had no one to talk to, no one to turn to with my problems and worries, I somehow felt that they are gone. I had to be rational after all. Why would they keep them alive for so long. Maybe you are asking now why did I stay in this state of mind for so long, why didn't I run away a long time ago, or ended it easily as I tried to when you stopped me. I still kept a spark of hope that they still might be alive. Paul usually was the one who ignited this spark of hope inside me. Paul…that nasty son of a bitch. He would give me letters from time to time, telling that they are written by my family for me. He would told me that they are fine, somewhere north, that Pagan's looking after them, they have everything they need and that no harm is gonna happen to them if I keep doing all the things they want. Overseeing the drug deals, running the arena and other things…that's was the reason why I have stayed in this for so long…..I loved my family so much." "That's understandable" I interjected. "You are right…when you told me they are gone, I thought that I didn't want to live anymore. That there is nothing for me. My heart has been so empty without them all this time. I don't know if I will be able to feel…love again. If my heart can handle it. I feel so empty. This place, these people have sucked me to the bone. I feel like a corpse of once a successful woman." My eyes glanced at an empty bottle of a probably expensive imported whiskey that lay by the end of the red suspension that covered the entrance to her bedroom. "Ah, and that. What you can see is the evidence that I can't even handle my own problems and emotions. A grown up woman like me. I am a joke." She smiled bitterly. My heart broke at hearing her confession. "Don't talk like that. I'm sure you will be able to feel love and all of the other positive emotions again." I squeezed her hand covering it with both of my palms, feeling her warm skin. "And don't ever think of yourself as of some emotionless corpse. You loved your family. I'm sure you were loved by many other people. Many other people cared about you. That sole fact confirms that you have never been heartless and that you are definitely not what you just described. If anything there's me for start." She laughed softly. "Ajay, I'm so glad that I can talk to you. It makes me feel so much better so much lighter when I can confess all my troubles to you." "And about that empty bottle…everyone has had some hard time…you don't need to ever accuse yourself of being unable to hold your emotions. It happens to everyone. I had to calm my nerves with alcohol at least at one point in my life. It was very hard for me back then. I will tell you about it sometime later, if you'll want." She shook her head "I will gladly lend you my ear as you have done the same for me twice already". I let go of her hand and reached out for my backpack. "You don't need that" I pointed to the empty bottle "to pour your thoughts and emotions. You now have me, remember? Anytime, I'm here for you with anything you have on your mind…or in your heart." Focusing my look at her eyes I noticed that the colour has returned to her skin and her eyes held some mix of admiration and commitment. "And that's why I brought you this" I pulled the spare phone I had from my bag and held it out for her. "With this, we can communicate or to be exact you can call me whenever you want, I mean whenever ever you want. I'm always available if you need someone to talk to. Or if you ever gonna have some kind of a problem here, or literally just anything. Okay?" I waited for her to take the device, holding it in her gentle fingers, getting a hold of the thing. "Like I have anyone else than you now…not that I would want someone else to be on the other line of that phone" She retorted happily grasping the phone while removing the dust that has settled on it over the time it has spent deep in my bag. "Anytime you want Noore, I am here for you." Now it was her turn to grab my hand with her delicate palm and gently run her thumb along my knuckles. "I will definitely use it Ajay. I feel like I can tell you anything that I can open up myself to you and not feel afraid or worried about you using that info against me, like Paul or someone from here would." "I'm happy that you feel this way. I'll try to make it as comfortable as possible." She got up from our position and swayed across the room. "How about we take a walk in the arena. I feel that my legs need to stretch a bit and we could talk a bit more…." She trailed off with her look "That is of course if you want to spend more time in my company now." I got up from the couch grabbing my bag along the way, with my mind already made up to spent more time here. It felt very natural and unforced. "Of course, I would like that very much. And I haven't seen anyone beside the two of us here. So I guess it will be safe for us to venture in the arena." "Good, then we are settled. Just let me find my shoes." She replied and started looking around the room. "Your…what?" I noticed then for the first time that she was barefooted the whole time. "Aren't you cold?" I tried to sound not too concerned. Her jingly laughter filled the room. "Silly, I'm not that predisposed to cold or something like that. Don't you think that spending years in this Kyrati climate has left my immune system untouched? And besides, if you look closely, most of my cold stone floor is covered by carpets." She was right. Most of the surface of the room was covered in a black and red carpets. The carpets looked pretty expensive by my unprofessional judgment, some kind of handmade Persian style product with traditional embroidered patterns. "Ah, here they are!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, while sitting on a nearby chair. She put her crafted sandals on her feet while I put my backpack on the sofa. Why did I even grabbed it in the first place? Sometimes, I do slightly unreasonable things without thinking. "Shall we go?" came the question from my female companion. "Yeah sure" I stopped in my tracks when I saw Noore go through the red suspension to her bedroom. "Wait, how are gonna get there? Through your bedroom?" I called out to her with my eyebrows raised. "Exactly. There is a side door that goes to a staircase from which we can go to the upper part of the arena – to the tribunes or to the places where I usually used to reside." She replied through the suspension. "Okay, fine by me." I pushed through the suspension to find Noore putting a key to a key hole in a door that were on the right side of the room. From the few glances that I managed to sneak, her bedroom looked pretty simple. Nothing extravagant like you would expect from Pagan, but on the other hand, nothing rough and men like, like you would expect from Paul. A simple place for rest with a touch of woman's finesse. A two door wooden wardrobe stood by the wall with a medium sized table by its side. Both with traditional Kyrati ornaments. There were few make – up items, and things similar to those, which you can easily find on probably every woman's bedroom table. The comfortable looking bed which was pretty tidy gave the finishing touch to the room with the small bed side table in a shape of a cube. "By the way, sorry that it looks messy here, I….honestly haven't cleaned up in a while." "It's fine, don't stress, it looks perfectly clean and tidy to me". "Well here we go." She opened the wooden door that revealed a spiral staircase that led to the upper part of the arena. Noore went on the staircase first, slowly rising step by step while I followed right behind her.

"You wouldn't believe just how much time I would sometimes spend just by myself here. Just taking a stroll, if you can call it like that. When I had the feeling that I needed to escape from my apartment, or whatever you may call it, I would come here and venture through the arena at night when there was nothing else than me and silence. I would find some kind of solace here. Sometimes I cried, I couldn't allow anyone to see me like that. To express openly that I'm really vulnerable inside, that would be like a suicide for me. Nobody would respect me anymore and I would probably lose my chance to ever see my family again. Pagan would see this as an excuse to get rid of me. This is the first time in a long long time that I have been able to fully and openly express my emotions. And it feels…good". I listened to Noore, as she climbed up the stairs, explaining all those past times, ending her small confession with a barely audible stutter. It felt so good to see her so….relaxed. That's how she should be all the time. Relaxed and open. Not stressed, full of anger and pain, while trying to pretend to everyone how cruel and heartless she is, while the truth was different. "I can see why you chose this place for all those…actions you told me you did here…believe me when I say that I sometimes look for a complete loneliness. I can completely imagine you here, sitting at the top of the stairs. But I do not want to imagine you crying or being unhappy in any other way. I'm glad that you are starting to feel at least a bit better despite everything…" She turned to look at me just as we reached the top with a sad look quickly changing it to a bit bittersweet smile. "Ajay, I noticed that you always know when to say the right thing. Or to be clear, the really nice thing. How do you do that?" I waved both of my hand in front me, trying to show that I do not consider myself so skilled in such social manners. "I don't know. I just say what I honestly think. Maybe it's with you that I have the motivation to think about positive things, which leads as you said to the nice stuff I say to you." "You don't need to be so modest about yourself Ajay" She looked around the arena, focusing her eyesight on some familiar spots. "Anyway, here we are. You haven't seen this place, from a vantage point like this." "Yeah, you're right. It's much bigger than I have ever considered it to be." I looked at the rows of stone seats that were intended for the…audience. "How many people could fit here in total?" I asked counting the possible number in my head, considering the number of the seats. "That is very hard to say, but dozens and dozens of them would come here to enjoy what I had used to call 'show'" "They would fill the arena sometimes in just minutes, or that's what it looked like to me. Many of them would not respect any 'safety' measures." I irked my eyebrows quizzically as we walked at the top floor of the arena and came to a stone railing, from where we could see the bottom of the pit, and also see all the colourful flags hanging from the ceiling, giving the arena its finishing touch of traditional Kyrati culture. "Safety measures?" I asked, trying not to sound too mockingly as I rested my arms at the railing. "What, we had some. Really…we did. We couldn't let the show turn into uncontrollable slaughter if people fell down to the pit. But back to my original point. Maybe you won't believe it, but many participants from the audience, were sitting to loosely and the end of the railings, they would push to each other while cheering at the participants down there. And of course you can guess that alcohol usually did its part. So sometimes, some members from the audience became participants in the show itself. Sometimes it really looked like an uncontrollable football game or what." She explained, pointing her second finger at the exact places where those fatal accidents had happened. Her beautiful handmade tattoo on the palm of her right hand could not go unnoticed by me. I decided mentally, that I would ask her about it later. "Didn't you have guards, guarding it here at the time of the show?" "Of course I did. But in 90% of the cases they wouldn't bother. Not at all. Believe me when I say they wouldn't be able to do anything in time in most of those cases. I know, maybe I sound cruel, but that was the reality here. And you know Ajay, you especially know that I always thought about my family when I was here, overseeing the matches, while thinking where they were right in that moment, if they were fine, if they didn't need something…if – if my two boys missed their mom…." Her voice cracked at speaking this. I noticed how her whole body shivered, at the mention of this. She put her right hand to her face, pressing her thumb and her index finger to her eyes, with her eyelids closed. I put my hand on her shoulder, and with the other one I repeated the same gesture from two days ago. I forced her to look at me, noticing the tears welling up in her dark orbs. "Noore…look at me, no more crying OK? Remember what I said." "I know Ajay, but it's so hard to stay calm, when I talk about my family. It's too hard…I'm sorry." She interrupted while she sobbed a few times before she looked at me and a small smile appeared. "You're right. I know they are looking at me right now. And I think they are happy that I did not take my life senselessly. They will always be in my heart. I'll never forget them." I smiled at hearing her words. Seeing her gentle features looking calmer gave me a sense of calmness to myself as well. Somehow deep inside me I felt a craving…I felt the need to hug Noore, as hard as I could, so all her troubles and fears would go away. 'What I are you thinking about, idiot. That would be just plain stupid to do. She would think I'm some weirdo. No definitely not.' I thought. "What 'definitely not' Ajay?" I looked at Noore to see the questioning look on her face, with her right eyebrow raised a little. "What do you mean?" She chuckled quietly "You just said 'no definitely not'…you were thinking out loud probably didn't you?" "Yeah, I probably did." "So what was the 'no definitely not' about, hmmm?" the obvious slightly teasing tone could not be overheard. "Ummm, well. I thought about you being so sad, I told myself that as long as I'm here, it will not happen again." I replied, quickly coming up with a useable lie, while looking to her deep pools of brown and black. "Ohh, Ajay, you are so sweet." She smiled at me wholeheartedly while I had that urging feeling inside me again, to step closer and fully embrace her tightly. I decided to change the topic so Noore wouldn't get uncomfortable mentioning her late family. "So do you know by a chance how old is this place?" She turned her head clearly thinking about the best answer.

"You know, I'm not much of a historian at all…but I think I read in the materials and some of the books that I found here, that this place was built sometime in the 18th century. Animals like tigers and elephants were held here to fight the other to death. And as you can guess, people came here to witness it and the whole tradition transferred into the modern times." "I would use this place differently." "Tell me how Ajay. I'm curious to know" Noore's light voice and the relaxed features on her face got my attention again. "I don't know, maybe…it shows us the times that are long forgotten, the place itself holds some history, tradition…I think it would be great if the people of Kyrat would have a chance to hold on their traditions…but in a different way than it used to be in the 18th century. I think of it as a tradition transferred to modern times. Adapting itself to this timeline. I imagine this place…full of life and colours. Sound of chatter would fill the area. The smell of new beginnings would be present in the air. People would enjoy coming here, it would be like some kind of a meeting point. A marketplace? Maybe. I would change this place into something new, something better. It would be a place where meetings would be conducted, where people would trade stuff and thangs, or they would just simply meet here on some occasions. This place also holds some respect in people's minds. And its situated…you can say in the middle of Kyrat, with the lake creating a peaceful atmosphere from an outside point of view." I ended my explanation with a gesture imitating an important manager who is presenting his project to the Board of shareholders. Noore laughed. "Ajay you should have been a poet…or a writer….or a politician! You would be a great leader, the crowd would follow you. Unlike Pagan." She exclaimed while looking at me with a…. was it admiration written on her face? "You have never considered the option of being a politician?" I turned my head to look at her giggling delicate face. "Are you crazy? No, I would never be good for anything like that. Definitely not. And believe me, I won't ever consider it especially after witnessing the mess here." "I get it, but you would be a great and kind leader to all your people." She fixed the piece of jewellery on her left hand and continued "But back to your idea…I agree with what you just described. I like that vision of yours. It's a shame that the people of this country were lead only to enjoy violence. And that I, a woman who originally despised violence had to organize it here. It's like the nature of this whole place. All the wild animals here, I could see it as the guards used to bring them here. And by the way, yes I used to send those hunters to track down animals that would be later used here, in the arena. They were fighting for their lives, the raw animal instinct leading them often to their death. That similarity may be applied to the people of this country. They are like those wild animals, trying always to survive and fight with something, not realizing that the time has changed and they don't need to follow all the rules and boundaries their ancestors set for them decades ago." "I agree with you completely. This country has its raw untouched beauty that you can't find everywhere, but it also brings something bad from people." Few moments passed before I decided to enlighten the mood "Did you really used to send those hunters to track down rhinos or even tigers?" I asked not believing, who would be mad enough to try to capture a rhino. A fucking rhino. "Yes I actually did. Pagan ordered me through Yuma to keep the bloodbath in this place as often as possible or else…you can imagine what exactly he used to tell me that would have happen, if I didn't follow his orders. Many of those soldiers didn't return, or they returned with fatal injuries. Because you can imagine trying to capture a rhino even with their abilities can be a little bit risky. But you know what? I didn't care. I was not sorry for them at all. They were just puppets in Pagan's hands. Hell, like I was all the time. But they weren't fighting for anything while doing this. I fought for my family, the whole time." She sighed while she pressed her hands on the railing stretching her legs during the process. "That's how it was. Unfortunately. Believe me, like I've already told you, I didn't enjoy single thing from it." "Yeah I can imagine that….but did you sent them to also get a honey badger? Cause I witnessed a few of those motherfuckers down there when I had to fight". She burst out laughing, her melodic laughter echoing in the arena. "Yeah I remember those too. Aggressive little bastards. They could cause a mess down there" "I hate them. You don't know how much!..." I noticed the air got a bit chillier around us, creating a slightly windy environment with the wind probably getting here through the roof. I looked at Noore, to see her leaning quite comfortably against the cold stone, shoulders almost completely uncovered and her bare feet in her sandals, almost not registering the slight change in climate. From my point of view she had such a petite frame, that I thought she would shiver immediately. Nope, she stood there looking calm than ever. "Aren't you cold? Has it ever gotten cold here for you?" I asked her motioning to the air around us, trying to show my discomfort. She laughed again, same way like when I asked her back in her room. "It's obvious you have spent so little time here. Come, a little walk around would make you feel better. You won't feel the cold as much as you do now. And to answer your second question, yes it did sometimes. Even when I was down in my room" I shook my head, already moving forward to circle the arena on its highest level. "What did you do to prevent the cold?" asked her while rubbing my palms together. "Well…I used to light more candles, make a fire in the small fireplace that I is now covered with some of the furniture and I would wrap myself in a blanket or two and sit on my couch trying to get used to it" I nodded, deciding to move to the other topic I had in mind and trying not to imagine Noore sitting with a blanket wrapped around her on a couch by the fireplace. "What happened back there in the corridor?" "What do you mean?" "When I got here, I noticed all the stuff that has been damaged, it looked like some local US store that had witnessed sacking after entering a new world war or like it had survived the black Friday sale." Noore stopped dead in her tracks. "Ahhhh, now I know what you mean…of course. Well you want an explanation? Quite simple. This will also explain the lack of guards in this place." "I'm listening" "Well after the word spread that you killed me, most of the guards panicked and started ransacking the place, grabbing whatever they found on the way. They were probably afraid that the Golden Path is gonna come to this place, and they'll stand no chance against them now in this state. I locked myself in my room, didn't come out until all the major noise died and I noticed only last few guards still trying to keep an eye on this place. I told them that they are dismissed after they thought they had seen a ghost when they saw me emerging from my room. I also told them that if they will shutter a word about me being alive, I will have them hunt down. They left the place in panic believing my threats, almost trying to barricade me here." "That explains the metal chain on the front door" I noticed her questioning look. "I had to untie a metal chain that was on the front door, they tried to lock down this place, maybe to ensure you wouldn't get them." "Good thing that they got my threats seriously. Stupid fools" Noticing Noore's furrowed face I decided to ask her one more thing. "Did they...have the guards ever been…rude towards you? I mean have ever tried to like give you some suggestions? If you know what I mean….I know that it's maybe rude to ask, but after encountering those brute grunts so many times I can't imagine what they are capable of…in some situations…and pardon me I know that you are a fierce woman who can take care of herself on her own but still…" I expressed my inner thoughts and feared what her reaction would be. Surprisingly she shook her head to show her disagreement with my fears. "Don't worry Ajay. Nothing like that ever happened to me. They wouldn't even try. They knew that would be the last thing they would have done…..although I admit that when I started here, some of the Kyrati men and some members of the guard had some….let's say sexist comments on me, but I earned my respect with them, they knew that during those first months if they would have tried something, Pagan himself would have them hanged immediately. So thankfully, I survived things like that." I sighed in relief. I don't where those thoughts originated, but I'm glad that Noore did not became a target of the guards or some other…assholes. "I'm glad that you were able to handle it all." I was just about to suggest or better be said ask Noore where we should proceed with our tour of the empty arena when I felt vibration in my pocket. 'That's my phone. I hope it's not Pagan bugging me again with one of his speeches'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:** **Someone Saved My Life Tonight**

"I'm glad that you were able to handle it all." I was just about to suggest or better be said ask Noore where we should proceed with our tour of the empty arena when I felt vibration in my pocket. 'That's my phone. I hope it's not Pagan bugging me again with his speeches'. "Yeah?" I tried to sound casual, although I felt a huge amount nervousness inside me. I put my finger on my lips looking at Noore, giving her the signal to stay quiet. She flashed her orbs at me and nodded. Spending time with Noore was great, but I cannot let somebody know that she's alive, that would mean either Yuma going after her to erase all the leftovers, or Sabal, Amita and practically the whole Golden Path probably turning against me. In their eyes it would be the greatest treachery ever. The son of the great Mohan Ghale keeping the vice lord of Kyrat alive and even meeting and helping her on different occasions while strangely (maybe not so much) growing a friendship with her. And in the end trying to make her feel better. No, that would be just too much. Noore needs to stay hidden as long as she can make it, no as long we can make it together, cause I'm gonna be the one to help her with that. I'm not abandoning her, she's just somewhat too special for that. Hopefully, when things get settled down, with Pagan gone, I will tell Amita and Sabal about Noore. I will try to prove them, that inside she wasn't what they thought she was. And in the meantime Noore will be able to choose what to do…with her life…what will be the best for her…probably leaving this country for good. That will be up to her, entirely up to her. "Ajay, it's Sabal, we need you in Banapur. We need to organize our next move against Pagan. And this next step should not be too difficult with Noore now gone thanks to you." "What do I need to prepare myself for?" I asked, worrying that they might want to drive capture some new territories including the Shanath. "I will explain the details when you get here, OK?" Hopefully I'm not gonna be the witness of another clash between Sabal and Amita. "OK. I will be there as soon as I can." I put my phone back in my pocket to see Noore taking a step closer to me. "I know I said we would take another stroll around here but…I need to go, I cannot let Sabal and Amita grow suspicious." I explained trying to reassure her that I plan to visit her again. "At least I know that the whole communication through phone is working and that you have not given me some cheap imitation that's dysfunctional." I laughed at her words, she can be really funny when she's relaxed like this. "No, I would never do that" She took my hand and sighed before looking at me, straight in my eyes. "If you must go…then, take care. Do not hurt yourself or anything OK?" Maybe I was imaging it but the way she voiced her slight concern seemed really sweet. At least to me. "Of course" I replied quietly, then quickly turned around and walked back the way we came here before doing something weird for sure, that would embarrass me and ruined this…nice friendship that was building between us. Because I had that same intense feeling inside that I already had twice today.

"What's going on guys?" I glanced at Sabal and Amita as I approached them with a questioning look on my face. "We need to make next move Ajay. It's time to hit Pagan critically. To cripple his main economic source. The drug trade. And thanks to you, with Noore being dead, it's gonna be a lot easier." Amita explained the plan to me with a determined look on her face. She reminded me sometimes of some fearless leopard that could attack anyone at any time. "We need to hit on the Kyrati tea factory that belongs to Noore's territory. Well, belonged thanks to you. The soldiers are still guarding it, but I believe in your abilities. Everybody believes in you." I nodded looking at Sabal judging his look. I noticed he was not settled with something. "So I just go there and destroy the poppy fields and the storages full of drugs?" I asked them, expecting a different opinion from both of them. "Noooo, of course not Ajay, are you out of your mind? Do not destroy those fields, we can use them. Look at this through my eyes. We can use the money that we'll make from the drugs for our brighter future, for the future of Kyrat. It would be very unwise to destroy them." I listened to her speech, almost feeling a bit of fear when she presented her plans, emanating an almost scary glow. Few years younger than me, but this strong and self - confident. I decided, that Sabal's opinion in this matter would be useful, him being the older and more experienced than Amita. "Sabal?" He turned his head and visibly bit his lip, trying to stay calm and not create another fight with Amita. "I….I agree with Amita, that we need to be prosperous in the future, but not this way. Using those drugs that would be a disgrace to our heritage" "Oh come on Sabal, again?" Amita interrupted him fiercely, looking at him with fire in her eyes. "Yes Amita, let me finish. We can achieve peace and prosperity other way. Drugs…that was a way for De Pleur and then Noore who commanded the deals to control our people and our country. That's not something that's intended for us. It never was. And it never will be. It would cause a severe damage to our people. Our people are peaceful, they have always wanted to live in harmony with our traditions. And selling drugs to ensure our prosperity is definitely not the right way for us." Amita rolled her eyes. "Then what do you suggest Sabal we do with those fields? Hmmm?" I smelled conflict in the air again. "I say burn them. Burn them to the ground. Let the plague that haunted our country for years be burned. Let it go. Let's make this country as how it was envisioned by Mohan. Ajay you know that I want only the best for our people." I nodded. "So that means that I'm just trying not to help this country and the people living here? Is that what you meant to say Sabal? Really?" She put her hands to her hips, grasping the hem of her vest with her fingers. "No, I didn't mean to say that. Do not put words in my mouth." Sabal retorted obviously trying to stay calm. I've noticed over the time that I have spent with them, that Sabal is the one that is more patient and calm, and tries to solve things with cool head. Amita on the other hand, is the hothead. Temperamental and often moody. I'm not saying that one of them is necessarily better, both of them are just very different and in the end they are both strong individualities. "You know what Sabal? Screw you, I don't believe that you want to make this country a better place to live." Came the yell with the spicy flavour in Amita's voice as she pressed her index finger to Sabal's jacket and stormed off. I looked at Sabal to his mouth open. Shaking his head he looked at me. "Ajay. You must decide what is best for this country. Whatever you choose, is fully up to you. I will have to respect your decision, and hopefully Amita is gonna do the same." With a slight tap on my shoulder he went outside. 'Not again' I thought.

"Damn, that hurts…" I cursed under my breath as I opened the door to Ghale's homestad. I ultimately decide to follow Sabal's plan. I know that Amita is gonna be mad at me, but…whatever. From my point of view, keeping those drug fields, would lead only to more people depending on this exact commodity. I've seen what drugs can do in the US. I feel that Kyrat can use its raw beauty and potential that it has. And then bounce itself from there. Become prosperous. Using drug trade…that's not something that this country can handle anymore. Also I think this choice was better for Noore…she would be hopefully safer, with those fields burned. The Golden Path will not be interested in running that place. If that would have happened, they would be bound to found out somehow that Noore is still alive. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I cared for the woman to definitely not let something like that happen. Anyway, I chose to destroy those fields. Sabal told me that I can use a flamethrower that the Golden Path hid in a nearby conquered outpost. Unfortunately I followed his advice along with trusting his judgment that there will be little resistance there. I know that he couldn't have known that there would be such a heavy resistance. And that the whole place would be under some kind of an alarm that would alert that the factory and fields are in danger. Of course that I tried to be stealthy as long as it was possible, but the later waves of guards that arrived at the scene – that was something that I didn't suspect and had to repel them with everything I had. The end result was a burn on my left palm. Being the smart guy I forgot to put my gloves back on after I left Noore's place. Also I had several bruising on my arms and legs. The results of me clumsily avoiding all the gunfire that was directed at me from guards. But all in all I completed my objective. I felt like dead roasted piece of meat. All the heat from the flamethrower has left my face extremely warm and it felt like if I was sunburnt. And honestly, in times like this I doubted my role in this war. If I do have enough courage, will and skill to survive all the chaos that took place in this country.

Carefully I slid down my jacket, trying not to scrape the spot where my skin was burned. Putting down my backpack, I decided to finally use the healing ointment that I received from an old lady that made it from some herbs and stuff that only god knows, back in Banapur when I arrived here and was sent on my first mission to help the Golden Path. Applying the cold creamy pastry to my skin was relieving and the coldness of the mixture caused the goose bumps on my arms to appear. I took the useable pieces of bandage that I had in my backpack and rolled them around the burnt area to hopefully prevent any possible future damage that may happen to my left palm. 'Such a great way to spend a nice afternoon in Kyrat' I thought sarcastically as I stretched my legs in front of me as I sat on my couch relaxing for a few moments before grabbing something to eat. When I finally managed to stand up, sometimes being the lazy person that I am, and walk to my food supplies my phone rang, the second time this day. 'I still ain't got no time to rest after all this' I thought as I grabbed the thing and press the receive button. "Do you need anything else today from me Sabal?" I asked a bit annoyed. Instead of Sabal a melodic voice filled with light laughter answered me "Well that depends, of what you are willing to do Ajay. And I'm definitely not Sabal, believe me on that." I had to catch my breath in that moment, almost falling down from my couch. "Noore?" I answered with an almost trembling voice, trying not to sound like a stuttering 14 year old teenager. Her honest laughter filled my ear. "Of course it's me Ajay. Do you know someone else with that name?" She asked playfully. I sweat dropped, knowing that I probably made myself look like a fool. "No…I – I…" I was trying hard not to stutter but her light giggles were not making that easier. "I just wasn't expecting you to call and I just…" "Am I interrupting you in something?" The slight disappointment was obvious to hear in her voice. "No, no, no, definitely not. I'm….I'm just a bit out of shape if you know what I mean. I had to go through a lot today. I mean, the part of the day that I have spent with you was pleasant, but after that….don't even ask." I explained, sighing heavily while walking to my stack of supplies to grab something to eat. "You know that I'm going to ask anyway, so you better tell me." I loved when she sounded so certain, so confident about things in her life. That was one of the things on her that I've found myself to like on her the most. This was the way she was supposed to be like. A strong, beautiful, independent woman who has everything in her life. And the change, the slow progress to better has started to show its results on her. I could feel it. I didn't know why in this moment, but I felt that she is someone that I can rely on and that I can be the same to her. "Of course I'm gonna tell you. Just let me grab something to eat and then I can explain the whole mess that happened this afternoon." "Okay…And by the way what delicious threat do you plan to satisfy your hunger with?" Looking at the stuff that I had stored here I scratched the back of my head, thinking of some good answer. "Well, actually, I'm not too picky, not that I wouldn't starve here if I was by the way" her laughter filled my ears again. I decided to put her on speaker. "I put you on speaker now okay, cause as a man I cannot concentrate on holding my phone, listening to you and preparing something to eat for myself." "At least you admit it, it's rare to see a man admit his flaws that are just natural for every man" I chuckled. 'This woman was really special'. "Yeah, yeah you smart woman" I didn't gave her any time to retort as I continued "Anyway" I couldn't hold on as I laughed hearing her protests. "Anyway, where were we? Yes, back to your original question about my ravishing hunger…honestly I do not have many choices, but a roasted honey badger would do me good." I teased her again roaring with laughter. I couldn't enjoy this game more. "Oh, Ajay that's gross. You men never grow up." "Really? Just wait for more unforgettable stuff from me, you won't regret it…back to your question, again…I have mostly canned food here, some pasta, stuff like that." looking at the stack of supplies that I had in the large cupboard I decided to pick some canned tuna and with some pasta. "Wait, you have pasta? Where did you get it?" I could the craving in her voice. "Well, I know my sources….no, I just found a few packs in one of the outposts, that I liberated. I guess that Pagan likes Italian food and not only the crab Rangoon." "Did he offer you that terrible dish too? I had the honour too." I knew that it was probably when she arrived here with her family, but I decided not to push on this topic. She would tell me about it later hopefully. Getting it out of her, will make her feel better. "Yeah exactly my thoughts." I poured some bottled water into a pot and put it on an electric hob and turned the hob on. "You wouldn't believe what had for dinner today. If it can be even called dinner." Hearing the sad tone of her voice I felt the urge to turn the hob off and quickly tell her that I would be there to get her in five minutes, and that she can have a portion of this dish here with me. But I stopped myself, knowing it would probably sound silly. "Go on, tell me." I opened the pocket of pasta as well as looking for the can opener. "You can imagine, that I did not feel the best and that my stomach was not on good terms with the rest of my body too. Add the alcohol that I consumed yesterday and you can image that I didn't eat anything at all this morning. And honestly, I wasn't hungry at all. But seeing you today, just talking with you gave me back some of my former strength. Not the strength that I had during all those crazy bloody things, you know what I mean….a kind of strange inner strength that I have not felt since I arrived here five years ago. I hope I don't sound too crazy, it's just that…you made me feel better I'll be honest about that. And I thought that you wouldn't mind spending some time of yours with me in this form, that's why I called you in the first place." I felt…happy, to hear her talk so openly and freely and to say that I made her feel better. "And that's exactly why I gave you that device…to call me whenever you feel lonely, saddened or just in a mood to talk with someone. You wouldn't ever bother me, trust me" I decided to let her continue, as I watch the pasta boil in the bubbling water. "I know Ajay. Maybe I was just not so sure about it when I was thinking about it here, alone. But now I'm just really glad that I didn't hesitate to call you…..back to the topic of my today's dinner… or whatever you may call it. You can guess, that I don't have many things left here, those stupid guards looted almost everything in here. They have left me at least some bottled water and some food, thank god for that. It doesn't sound like much, but for me it's valuable now. I inspected the storage of the arena, to find it almost empty, just finding the stuff that I just mentioned. And believe me, at the sight of the alcohol that they have not managed to grab when leaving, my stomach twisted sickly and I had the urge to throw up. Luckily I didn't. So anyway, I had only some salted crackers accompanied with some fruit that I found there. And there you go, that was my meal, if you can call it that." I drained the pasta from the water and put it a plastic bowl, lightly sprinkling it with some Kyrati pepper, salt and moistening it with a bit of sesame oil. Scrapping out the tuna from the can I decided to ask Noore if she wouldn't mind if I bring her some supplies tomorrow. "I'm glad you were able to find something that wasn't rotten or otherwise disgusting. Do you mind if I bring you some of my supplies tomorrow for example? I can definitely spare some of mine and you won't starve on crackers." "That would be amazing Ajay. Thank you for being so sweet to me. I cannot thank you enough." "There is no need to thank me. You can always rely on me." "I know….so are you finished with your pasta?" "Oh yes most definitely, just give me a sec, I will sit back on my couch and take something to drink." I did just as I told her and massaged my temples going through the events of this day, creating a puzzle which I'll describe as best as I can to Noore. "So how's your pasta?" She asked playfully, while I had my mouth full. "It's fine. No culinary miracle as you can imagine, but it'll do. And do not say anything about your crackers and that stuff. Tomorrow I will bring you some of this stuff, so you can enjoy it too." I answered her as I gulped the delicious tuna down my throat. "I know. I cannot wait….but at least those idiots left some good stuff here. For example an amazing loose jasmine tea which I always enjoy having greatly." "So that explains the sipping sound." I laughed at her, trying not to suffocate on my pasta. "I made myself a cup of that pure deliciousness. And I find myself enjoying it now just as I've always enjoyed it. And another thing. You wouldn't believe but someone brought here some jellybeans." "You mean that sweet stuff that every candy shop in US sells?" "Exactly. You wouldn't believe but I found myself enjoying those now. Along with the jasmine scent around me." "Well, that is something that you won't find here. But I don't mind, I've never been a huge fan of sweets." I thought about trying to find some sweets in Banapur that I could surprise Noore with. 'I'll ask the shopkeepers, when I'll be there' I thought. "And Ajay, I don't know what kind of spiritual power you have but since you mentioned the cold earlier today I couldn't bring myself to not feel it too. I don't know what you did, but 90% of the time I was fine here. But I don't mind it that much. Maybe it's just today that it feels different." I felt somehow guilty. "But you are not cold now, are you? I mean in what you traditionally wear." Her light chuckle came as the response and I felt relieved. "No I'm fine. I wrapped myself in a large blanket and I sit on the couch with a nice warm jasmine tea as my company, no need to worry." I imagined her immediately, sitting on a couch, wrapped in a blanket munching on those jelly beans. My whole inside was immersed in a warm feeling. "But now, please tell me what happened today after you left my place. You sounded somewhat dejected." I exhaled while collecting my previously collected puzzle of thoughts, trying to explain it all to Noore. "Well I went to see Amita and Sabal. They wanted to strike on Pagan. And you might not be happy but they decided to blow a strike to his drug business. And you used to run the deals." I waited for her response, while I put my empty bowl aside. "Yes that's correct. I used to do it. Pagan wanted to use my charm and skills as he would use to say. So what exactly did you do?" "I burned down the tea factory. You surely know that the place was used for those poppy fields and the storages. Well, all those are gone now." Her laughter was my reward. "You did great. You won't believe it, but it makes me so happy that the place is gone. I know it was in my territory if you wish to call it like that, but I hated it. I had to oversee the whole drug making process, while Yuma or Paul supervised. But more often than not it was Paul. It was his pride and joy. That slimy snake. I never liked him a bit. I hope the intel will get to him. To that sick disgusting pig." I enjoyed every bit of her rampage on Paul that she released now. "Actually, I'm pretty sure the word will get to him." I chuckled. "How so?" "There's one thing I haven't told you yet. I captured that idiot, I transported him in the trunk of my car, and now the Golden Path has him. And also that's how I got the info about your family…" I sighed not really wanting to bring up the subject of Noore's family. "I see…that serves him right. Let the Golden Path have him. He deserves it. He is a psycho. I don't know how can lead a life of two totally different persons. I only pity his daughter. That girl doesn't deserve a father like he is." "I agree with you completely." I really pitied Ashley for living in such a lie that her father created around her. "Did it go smooth there?" Noore asked in a slightly caring voice. "Not at all. There were a lot of guards still keeping an eye on that place. Even with you presumably gone. And they had alarms, alerting other waves of Pagan's troops that came to defend the place." I explained the situation to her slowly, not wanting to mention my injury. "But you didn't get injured, did you?" Now the concern in her voice could not be overheard. "Not much at all. I only have several bruises and a burn on my left palm." "Not much at all!" she yelled "You got hurt Ajay! Don't take things like that so lightly. Did you apply something to that burn at least?" I didn't mind her scolding. I knew she didn't mean it as an insult to me, but because she cared just a tiny bit for my wellbeing. I hoped so. "Yes. I got an ointment. It's better now. The coolness of the ointment did its job." I heard her exhale. "Well, at least you got something on that. But promise me Ajay, please be careful. Always…OK?" "Don't worry, I'll be more careful. Believe me, I don't take your words lightly." I tried to ensure her, putting an emphasis on the last two words. "I'm glad to hear that. I just don't want you getting hurt. You helped me so much…you can't imagine how I already appreciate it. And if you are in a need of some healing formulation in general, come see me, I have many things that will definitely help you. You have my word that you will find solace from your injuries here anytime you want." Honestly, in a moments like this, I really started to hugely appreciate Noore's role in my life. She hasn't been in my life for a long time, but I feel that her influence is somewhat special. "I know, I really appreciate it. I wouldn't go to Sabal or Amita, or anyone of that matter in a case like this. I feel that you can understand me better than them." I confessed, while I changed into my shorts and shirt that I used to sleep in and lied down comfortably on the couch while covering myself with a thick blanket. I heard Noore sip her tea and crunch a jelly bean after that. "You…you just know how to say the best thing to say in every situation as I've already mentioned. Did you attend some social etiquette classes?" I heard the curiosity combined with teasing in her voice. In the short time I've known her, I quickly learned to love her teasing questions. When she was relaxed and just overly smiling and maybe happy? Hopefully she's gonna be in the near future. "No, where did you get that? It's just…natural for me…maybe I'm automatically feeling the need to make you feel better. As I've already said." I took a swig of the Kyrati beer that I opened few moments ago. "Honestly, I really look forward seeing you tomorrow. If you find some time for me of course." Silly Noore, how can she even think that I would not keep my promise of trying to make her feel good and happy? "That is a thing that you don't ever need to doubt. And I promise that I'll try to bring something to keep you amused. You can view it as a small present from me." I had a few things in my mind. Hopefully it's gonna be something that's she will enjoy in her free time. "Well, then I'm looking forward seeing you twice as much now" she giggled sweetly. There were a few moments of silence that followed. I felt an urging feeling to just ask Noore, if she would want me to come over at Shanath just to talk more. Because let's be honest, face to face conversation can't ever be beaten by talking over a phone. "It's so dark and quiet here now…and knowing there's nobody beside me here now…sometimes I just want to get out of here…to forget this place. I feel so depressed, when I'm here alone…I do not feel depressed now thanks to you, because I can talk to you but there's not much to do. And believe me, taking a stroll through the arena at night…that's just something that I'm afraid to do now…Yes, the fierce vice lord of Kyrat is afraid of something…I'm afraid of loneliness Ajay" I understood her completely. Maybe the reason why we got along together so well after she open herself to me and stopped wearing a mask of a cruel arena master was because we were both alone. We didn't really have anyone. "You don't to feel embarrassed to be afraid of something. You are a human being Noore. Just because everyone treated you like crap in the last few years, doesn't mean that you have lost your humane side. It's completely natural. You know that you can express anything that you feel or have on mind….I can see your real self. And you are afraid of loneliness?" I asked her softly. "M-hmmm, exactly. I cannot explain it, but I am. Maybe it's the environment of this place. The emptiness and darkness that dominates everything other here right now". "Don't be afraid. I'm sure that your life is gonna take a better turn from now. And you won't be alone, don't worry. If anything there's me, OK?" I somehow felt her get more relaxed, even though I couldn't see her. "Hopefully you're right. One thing I know for sure. I'm 100% sure, that I'm gonna keep my friendship with you for as long as I'll can. You saved my life tonight" I felt my heart skip a beat. "I promise the same thing to you. You can count with me on that."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Falling Of The Rain**

The days that followed could be marked as a new fresh start. It was definitely a new start for Noore. She got emotionally better, I could clearly see the change in her. I felt that the old Noore that Kyrat produced, or better be said drawn out of her was slowly fading away. And instead of the Noore with the angry, controlling attitude, the new Noore was emerging. Or should I say the Noore that was buried deep inside? The Noore that was buried inside with all the troubles her life had prepared for her? I can imagine that this was the way how she really was and how she behaved and felt before she came here and before her life had essentially become a hell. She would smile more often now, she would be more open and relaxed and she would start to think about positive things, too. Of course she would still think about her family a lot, that's completely understandable, but she wouldn't think that she doesn't have a reason to live anymore and that she has to die. When I remember now how broken she looked when I told her that her family is gone…how she was desperate to die, how she tried to grab my blade and possibly do something to herself…how she reacted when I tried to comfort her…that wasn't the Noore that I see now, that Noore was long gone. Before all this – that was the Noore that Kyrat produced. The Noore that Kyrat destroyed, or to be clear Pagan and Paul and the others have destroyed. I hope that with my influence, she would only get better and better, day by day. Nothing else has been more important than this to me now. During these days, I even forgot about the war that was outside, about Pagan, the Golden Path, Amita and Sabal…about everything…somehow I found solace, peace and a strange sense of calmness when I spend time with Noore. And we spent our time together mostly talking about many different topics. Sometimes it was just random stuff. But I could slowly see the change in her. And it warmed my heart. The only thing that worried me was, what decision she is going to make about her imminent future. I mean the fact if she wants to stay in Kyrat for a bit longer, or if she wants to go back to US… where she has probably been declared dead already years ago. Or she is still listed as missing. In case of staying in Kyrat for a little longer, the question of her safety comes to my mind first. She can't stay in the Shanath for very long…that place is not safe anymore when both Pagan and the Golden Path think she is dead. But I had a backup plan in my mind, in case things would go wrong. And in case of her returning to US…well, honestly I wouldn't mind her choosing what she thinks is best for her, but I feel that a huge gap would be left here after her leaving. I would lose the one person with whom I can talk to, to share my thoughts and emotions and just someone you can rely on. It's strange, isn't it? How she has managed to earn my trust and care…and she did it by only by opening her feelings and thoughts to me just a little and also just by being herself…her real self now. I would definitely miss all of that. In her unique way, she would be unreplaceable. But I kept on my mind that whatever decision she chooses is entirely up to her and that I will be happy if she chooses anything that will make her happy and satisfied.

"Come in" came out the contralto voice that I have become to know so well. After waiting for a few seconds not wanting to immediately interrupt Noore's privacy, I pushed the massive wooden door open. The distinctive scent of perfume that hit my nose was the first thing that attacked my mind in that moment. Due to the perfume scent, the room smelled of some sweet Kyrati flowers with a mixture of something a bit spicy and energetic, that's probably the best description. All in all the scent was intoxicating. And the best or the worst thing of all was, that this was Noore's perfume, or I should say her signature scent that spreads around her like a fluffy cloud. The presence of the sweet scent was the sign of change. Her room didn't hold the heavy air mixed with the smell of alcohol anymore. "Ajay! Hi, I've been expecting you". But the most noticeable change could be seen on Noore herself. Gone were the stressed eyes full of fear mixed with anger and rage caused by all the circumstances of her life. Gone was the strained face and puffy cheeks that I had a chance to witness two days after I confronted her about the fate of her family. Instead of these hopefully long forgotten marks of misery, a pair of shining dark eyes, a face with natural colour which was now slightly paler (despite her jet black hair) with a bit of make – up applied and full rosy red lips were looking at me, smiling gently with slight dimples on her cheeks showing up, which were in my opinion….just cute….very cute. So what if Noore is my friend, and I fully respect her…I can pin point a few things about her looks, can't I? I'm pretty sure that she'll still be a target of a lot of attention from men, when she returns to US and settles back into her life. Somehow the mention of her return to US and settling back to her life and all those other things…it always brings a pang in my heart. I know that she is a grown up woman and can do whatever she wants to do on her own, but still…the thought of her leaving and being thousands of kilometres away brings the emotion that I just mentioned. "What is it Ajay?" I quickly jerked my head in Noore's direction to see her looking at me curiously with her hands on her hips. I noticed the slight change in her clothes. She got rid of the complicated sash and the blue half trimmed skirt that had covered the upper part or her pants. Instead she only kept her loose pants, these ones a bit darker colour and she changed her top to a crimson red one, similar to the colour of her lipstick, with similar golden ornaments on her arms and chest. In the end, it suited her really well and her whole body, her every feature radiated an overall looseness. "Nothing I lost my train of thoughts for a moment. And Hi, by the way." She laughed openly showing her pearly white teeth. "You know, sometimes you can just make me smile and laugh so much that I just can't believe that you're not doing it on purpose." "I'm not! I just….I'm just me…" Another roar of laughter could be heard from her lips. "I remember that line from somewhere…I'm just me…" She bit her lip while obviously thinking hardly. "Now I remember! Freddie Mercury said those exact lines in one of his interviews…I used to be madly in love with him when I was a teenager…" Noore sighed and I immediately purposed inside my head that I'm gonna ask her about her teenage years sometime later, definitely. "You're gonna definitely tell me about that, you know that, right?" I put down my backpack thinking about the small present I brought her, silently hoping that she's gonna like it, and the present itself is gonna enlighten her free time. "Whenever you want, just ask me. I will gladly tell you about my teenage years and all of that stuff." "Okay, I'll take your word on that…but anyway…how are you feeling today?" Even though I visited her almost every day just for few moments and she called me every evening and we would talk about the events of the day, or just chat about some random stuff, we wouldn't touch our more personal things, because I felt that we didn't have enough time for that, or the conditions weren't right. But I knew, that the type of friendship, if you can call it like that, that we have developed in this short period of time is definitely not just a random thing like just two colleagues chatting together. I knew that we liked talking to each other and….spending time together, and the effects showed on Noore, as I've already mentioned. "Good, fine. I hope I won't sound stupid or pathetic, but I feel much better thanks to your presence. Your visits, your acceptance of my evening calls has just made me feel so much better over the last few days." At hearing this I just wanted to cut the distance between us and embrace her completely. "I would do anything to make you feel better." She shook her head with an audible sigh trying to display her disbelief. "Ajay, you're so sweet. Your girlfriend must be extremely happy that she has a guy like you in her life." I felt a sting hit my heart and stomach. 'No I won't tell her about that now' I thought. I didn't see the exact expression she had on her face, because just as she had started to say that sentence, she turned around and went to collect a few books and what looked like journals and scrolls, and put them into her makeshift library. She didn't wait for my answer as she continued. "Until you convinced me to take a break and to just open myself I felt angry most of the time, nervous or just simply somehow aggravated. There were times when I was really depressed, but there wasn't a time when I was relaxed and just a bit happy. Thanks to you, I was able to rediscover all these emotions during the last few days. I know that my life probably won't ever be complete again without my husband and my sons but…I guess I just have to learn to live without them…knowing that I won't be able to ever see them again…" She exhaled, trying to hold back the tears. "Noore…" She put her hand up into the air. "I know Ajay…I won't cry. I will never stop thinking about them, but I won't cry anymore. I cried enough." "You…you didn't mention that you had two sons…I know you had children, but you never mentioned out loud any…details…or maybe you did and I don't remember." I tried to approach the subject as gently as possible. She focused her glistening eyes on mine. "Maybe I haven't mention it. I – I…don't remember. Yes I had two sons. Two boys. They were the most important men in my life, with my husband of course…I promise you Ajay, that when we'll find the time, I'll tell you about them…I guess it will help me too, just to talk about them. I don't want them to be forgotten." "I'm sure that's never gonna happen. I know that you'll never stop thinking about them and believe me I will gladly give my ear to you when you will like to talk about them. I would love to know more about them." She smiled slightly "Thank you Ajay, for your kindness towards me, for everything…" If she didn't turn around and headed to her bedroom through the red suspension, I would have lost it right there, I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to hold her. Instead I tried to enlighten the mood. "How was the pasta yesterday?" Great Ajay, just great, enlighten the mood with something stupid. "Oh, actually it saved my life. I know I called you after I had that delicious thing, but I have to tell you you're a life saviour." Emerging from the red suspension I noticed she held a rather large book. "I used some canned vegetables and tomato sauce that was here and believe it was finally something different from the traditional Kyrati stuff that I have had over the last years." She noticed me looking at the book in her hands. "You want to know what this is." I nodded inspecting the thing in her tattooed right hand. "Yeah, if you can tell me what exactly that is. I won't press the subject, if it's some kind of your personal thing, as you told me when I came here few days ago. Remember?" She bit her lip again and looked at me, while I had a feeling that the thing she wrote on that day was certainly a diary. "Of course I do. And as I said, women have their secrets. No more questions." She waved her hand with her fingers stretched out as if cutting the air to show me that she was serious. "And this…this is a book that I brought here with me, when I came here. It isn't as great as its ancestor, but I can manage to live with that. It's called 'Scarlett'. It's an official sequel to the legendary Gone with the Wind, written by Margaret Mitchel. Scarlett was written by another author, because Margaret didn't want to write the sequel herself…and she died when she was just 49 years old can you believe that?…so that answers your question. Do you know the book? Gone with the Wind?" I thought I would scream out loud right there in that moment as Noore put the book on her couch and fixed the cushions. "Well…" I cleared my throat and put out the little gift that I brought here for Noore. She turned around and her eyes widened with joy. "Ajay! What is it?" She asked me with enthusiasm glowing from her. "This? This is a simple present that I brought you, as I promised I would bring you some present and here is one. And actually I didn't know you would be so excited about it, but it's a copy of Gone with the Wind, in original its English version. Just for you to read. I thought about giving you a book, so I asked the shopkeepers in Banapur, if they have managed to smuggle some traditional western literature here. Thankfully then had some and I choose this particular book, because I know it's a classic and I thought you would like it." I smiled at her seeing the excitement in her eyes. I gave her the book, while she caressed the front cover. "Are you crazy?! This is one of my all-time favourite books! Thank you so much you made my day. Not that you haven't managed to done it already, but this…this is just amazing, and right when I found out my forgotten copy of 'Scarlett' here. I can read Gone with the Wind again! Thank you so much…" She looked at me longingly and held my hand while she held the book in the other one. Seeing her happy just made me almost melt. I didn't know why, but everything about her had some kind of a weirdly strange effect on me. In a positive way. When she smiled she looked more gorgeous than ever. For the first time in a long time a crazy thing flashed through my mind. Love. But after what happened…I told myself that I would not fall in love again…and Noore…I can't start to think about her in such terms. What do I feel for her is just a friendship, somehow special friendship, and care. I can't think of her in terms of…love…and all the things that accompany it. She will return to US and maybe someday find someone who will make her feel good and happy, someone who she will love and devote herself to…but why it feels painful when thinking about her departure. No, I can't develop any feelings for her, she deserves someone better and I just have to keep thinking about her only as a good friend. And not notice all of her delicate features. Just, can't. And besides, I'm pretty sure that she would never think of me like that…she would never fall in love with me…that would never happen, I'm 100% sure about it.

My train of thoughts was interrupted with a sound of at least 3 trucks arriving outside, with their engines stopping, tires screeching and a multiple voices echoing loudly. All of that could be heard clearly through the gentle beating of the rain 'Those have to be Yuma's troops. She sent them here to search this place. I knew this would happen. At least I'm here now, and no harm can be done to Noore. I would never allow that, under no circumstances, ever.' "Ajay!" I looked at Noore to see her face revealing a mix of panic and anger. She was angry at Yuma and afraid of what might happen now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Running On Ice**

„Ajay!" At hearing Noore's distorted tone of voice I looked at her to see her in a mix of anger and panic. I knew that she hated Yuma. For being like a hawk over her, for being Pagan's right hand and for controlling and ultimately destroying Noore's life more and more over the course of time. Her facial expression reminded of how she looked when I came here to "pay her a visit" and discuss the details about my mission to capture Paul…or rather kill him as she said back then…she was so distorted, without any motivation whatsoever. I remember she paced around the room frantically being afraid of what might happen to her family…the truth was in fact much worse than what she had expected. I didn't want this to happen, to see her like this again. It was so much different and so much more negative and truthfully said depressing for me to not see her relaxed and if possible just a bit happy. "Ajay what are we going to do?!...Fuck, this shouldn't have happened…Yuma is surely going to kill us, this is a payback from life for all the mistakes I've done. I should have died there, I knew it…" I observed her not believing what she was saying. "Noore…" I tried to stop her ongoing monologue with her wild gestures and pacing around the room. "I'm not worthy of living anymore, I knew that, I thought I could live somehow again, but my life is apparently showing me that I do not deserve it…" "NOORE!" I yelled having enough of her bitter senseless words that rolled off her tongue. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me. "Stop it please…" I told her quietly focusing my look solely on her dark brown orbs. "No Ajay, you don't understand. I feel that this is the proof that I can never be released from this burden, those stupid thugs are here to capture me, possibly kill me…I'm not ever gonna be free from all of this…." Her voice has gone down and tears started to form in her eyes. 'No this won't happen, she won't doubt herself no more' I approached her while keeping my hands ready if she would try to do anything stupid. "Noore, believe me…" "No Ajay, you don't get it, how am I gonna make this, what am I going to do after all of this…" She cut me off while averting her eyes, expressing the panic and distress that she felt in that moment. "STOP IT!" I grabbed her shoulders with my arms, trying not to squeeze her too much. She finally looked at me. I noticed that my words, my action, maybe a bit forceful has left an impression on her. I tried to use the situation in my favour by looking deeply into her eyes, seeing all the emotions that flashed there. "Just stop…OK?" She shook her head, a few small tears rolling down her face. "Do not ever disbelief yourself…we are gonna make it now…OK? I'm here with you, don't worry, I will not let those guards get near you…I promised you that, don't you remember?" I dropped my little question to see if she's followed what I've just said. "I know, but…". "No buts Noore…I'm here and nothing is gonna happen to you. We will get out of here. Do you trust me?" I hoped that I would hear her positive answer. That would mean a lot to me in a situation like this. It would give me a motivation to keep fighting for her. "Yes Ajay. I do trust you. Don't ever doubt that." She stated calmly while looking at me with a focused look on her face. My eyes went downwards to her lips for a second before I let go of her shoulders and stroked her left arm. "Have you done all the things that we talked about earlier? About the possibility of this situation? I somehow felt that a situation like this can happen…Pagan and Yuma…they still have their interests in here, even though they think that you are dead now." I asked her while looking around the room trying to catch a glimpse of something that would prove me that indeed she followed my previous instructions. "Yes I did. I have it right here, don't worry. Just let me grab few last things." I instructed her in one of our conversation from previous days to prepare some of her most important stuff in a backpack or something in which she could transport it easily. She ducked behind her couch and pulled out what looked like a rather large sized rugged backpack visibly full of various things and items of hers almost looking too heavy for her to bear, but I had my "inner feeling" that her gentle form would be able to bear much more than she seems to be able to on first sight.. I knew a situation like this would eventually come, so I told her to pack some of her clothes, personal belongings and stuff that holds an importance to her. I was really glad that she listened to me and followed my advice. This would make the situation much easier for her and for me too. "I'm ready". I looked at Noore to notice her standing ready, with the backpack hanged on her left shoulder. I noticed she put her hair into a loose bun and put a shawl around her head. "Do you have everything? You're not gonna return here ever again…." I emphasized the word ever. "I know, don't worry…I'm glad that I won't ever see this place again…" I smiled at her reaction. This was the Noore that I wanted to see. The renewed Noore, not the Noore that Kyrat managed to destroy in those years. That Noore, would never come back. Only the renewed Noore would be here. I made a promise that I'll try as long and as hard as I can to make her smile, laugh and feel good. As long she will want me to. As long as she's gonna stay here. "Follow me and keep low. Stay behind me, hide whenever you can, I will try to clear the path ahead for us. Then we hop into the truck and speed away. Everything clear?" I looked at her to see the glimpse of fear in her eyes. "Don't worry, nothing's gonna hurt you, I will never allow that." Her smile was possibly the best reward that I could get. Without any other words I opened the wooden door of Noore's apartment and inspected the corridor of the Shanath. It seemed empty. I exhaled and relaxed a bit. 'The guards must still be outside'. I waggled my head at Noore to signal her that the air clear here and we can easily proceed. We quickly glided through the corridor to the gates of the arena. I put my finger on my lips and leaned closer to Noore. "I'm gonna head outside, scan the area and deal with them…OK?" Looking at her lips I noticed the trembling motion they displayed. Her cheeks lost the small dimples that showed when she smiled earlier and her eyes looked scarred. "No Ajay, you're gonna get yourself killed." Her pleading look surprised me. "I'm not gonna die, don't worry. Remember, I have dealt with situations like this before." I didn't wait for her answer. I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to see more worry or pain on her face.

Slowly opening the door, I scanned the area through the small gap. 'Damn'. My ears didn't betray me earlier at all. There were soldiers outside searching the area, preparing to enter the arena. And what's worse these weren't the normal Royal army…those were the Elite Royal Guards, directly falling under Yuma's command. I thought about a possible strategy to deal with this situation. 'Stealth is out of question….charging right at them is not an option either…' Then I remember a tactic which I didn't I use as much but in this situation it would prove useful. Using a bait to attract a carnivorous animal that would cause a huge damage amongst their ranks. Luckily I had piece of Sambar's flesh that I had gained during one of my hunting quests. I inspected the place and threw the piece of flesh down the stairs so it would almost reach the lake by the arena. "What's that?" one of the soldiers shouted at my bait. 'Just wait for it you suckers…you never gonna know what hit you…bastards'. Sure enough, after a minute or two a large black bear came to the scene, magnetized by the scent of the meat. The soldiers started to shoot at him and the poor animal had only one choice that followed his instinct. To survive. He started to tear the soldiers apart, ripping their bodies and attacking them with such force that no one of them could even have a slim chance of survival. The few of them who survived the initial slaughter managed to take down the fierce beast. They almost immediately noticed me hiding behind one of the stone pillars. 'Here we go' I thought as I threw a grenade down their way "Look out! It's Ghale!" one of the soldiers shouted as they tried to run as fast as they could from the place where the grenade landed. As I heard the explosion I turned around, dropping my cover and found myself firing my STG – 90 at those bastards. The zingy sound of bullets echoed in my ears as I shot down those poor fools, their bodies dropping dead on the ground with pools of blood around their heads. "Come on out Noore!" I shouted back at the arena entrance. The door flung open with Noore running to me. "Are they all dead?" She asked frantically with her voice having an almost unrecognizable tone and colour. "Don't worry, they are gone. Now let's get to the truck." I grabbed her hand not caring if it's against her will or not. Pushing our bodies through the field of massacre, with the desolated bodies of those soldiers, the fire from the explosion slowly catching on the dry grass, the flames easily engulfing the corpse of the bear that laid dead there. I pulled Noore in my direction strongly, indicating that stopping here is not an option. "Buckle up, we are in for a ride." I grinned maniacally, putting the key into the ignition. One look at Noore could easily reveal the distress on her face, probably not knowing what's gonna happen, or where exactly are we going. "I'm taking you to that I place I mentioned to you yesterday. Don't worry we will get there and you will be safe there. But you must promise me to do whatever I tell you if something goes wrong, you mustn't hesitate for a second." I put my hand on the steering wheel waiting for her answer. "OK…" Hearing the soft response I decided to head out to our destination.

As we drove down a royal army jeep noticed us and started following us, accompanied with a quad bike occupied by a royal army lieutenant. 'Shit this is not good' I thought as I heard their mocking retorts being thrown verbally at us. 'I have to take them down, they can't know that Noore is alive and that she escaped the place'. A high speed road chase could begin. They tried to approach us from sides aiming their guns at the side windows. "GET DOWN!" I yelled at Noore pushing her head down to her knees with my right hand. "Aaaaaaaaah" Came her scream in a rather unusual high pitched voice as the glass from the right window shattered. "STAY DOWN!" I pulled down my automatic pistols that I got from Longinus for tracking down the blood diamonds in Himalayas. I shot the lieutenant aiming at his head, his body falling from the quadbike, rolling down the dirty road with the quad crashing into a nearby tree. "We're gonna make it, we're gonna make it!" I pressed my foot on the gas pedal speeding away from our pursuers. After a minute of our lead they managed to catch up to us, firing from behind us. 'No, I'm not gonna allow them do anything to Noore…and to me either' "Ajay!" 'I'm gonna get away from these suckers, they won't even know where we vanished, and then Noore's is gonna be safe and then she can decide what to do next.' "AJAY!" I heard Noore scream and turned my head in her direction. "What?" I asked her seeing the horror on her face. "In front of us!" I looked through the front window to see a heavy armoured rhino just casually crossing the road. "HOLD ON!" I yelled and twisted the steering wheel to bypass the rhino. Our wheels screeched as we flew beside him in high speed, missing him just by mere meters. Fortunately for us and unfortunately for our pursuers they weren't lucky or better said skilled enough to dodge the animal. I turned my head back for a second to see them unsuccessfully dodging the animal, ultimately flying off the road, the rhino enraged by their actions, aggressively charging to them. 'That goes them right…' I though with a slight smile on my face as I sped off to my destination.

The rest of the ride was all the way quiet. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to break the silence, and on the other hand I didn't really know what to say. Noore seemed to share quiet the same feeling, or as I thought she did, with her being quiet and looking firmly at the road ahead of us. I felt her eyes on me for a several times but only for a few seconds before she reverted her look back on the front window. Honestly, I tried to open my mouth and say something comforting or just ask her if she doesn't need anything or if she isn't hurt or anything, but every single time I opened my mouth I found my tongue was just stuck in my mouth with the whole inside of it being dry as if I had just drowned a bottle of popcorn down my throat. I knew that we would eventually break the silence, but I decided to left that moment happen freely when we will arrive at our destination.

"This is the place." I exclaimed rather calmly as we finished our march through the thick forest that grew on the rather steep hill. The remote location combined with this hardened access provided the perfect coverage for our destination that was in our sights now. "I hope that it suits your needs and that you won't find it uncomfortable being here…just as long as you wish." I looked at Noore to see her twirling the shawl in her hands, inspecting the whole place, her lips quivering a little. She open her mouth but no sound came from her...I decided to cut the distance between us, feeling that she needed some kind of support, or maybe some reassuring that no harm is gonna happen to her anymore and that she is safe now. Putting my hand on her shoulder I noticed the shiver that ran down her spine, just as I did my action. "So, do you like it here or do I have to feel ashamed for not coming up with a better solution?" I almost whispered into her ear feeling her significant scent as the small goose bumps appeared on her neck. She turned around to face me completely, dropping the backpack to the ground, looking at me with a slight glint in her eyes. "Ajay….I – I…." Her stutter was something rather rare to hear, with her eyes displaying emotions and things that I could not have managed to capture. When I was about to ask her what's wrong, if she doesn't like it, or if she is still shaken from the rocky journey here, she closed the distance between us and pulled me into a tight hug, wrapping both of her arms around my body. For a second, just for a second I just didn't know how to react…I stood there completely frozen, not knowing what to do…like an embarrassed school boy who got a hug from his first crush. The thing that has been on my mind for a few times when I saw her so down with her emotions was happening right now, but I was not the one who broke barriers and did the act of uttermost friendship and trust. When I heard Noore gulp I realized my unresponsiveness. Immediately correcting it, I returned her embrace with equal strength and devotion. I put my chin on top of her head, gently patting her long dark hair. "Ajay, I cannot thank you enough…I thought I would die, that those guards are surely gonna kill me when they would have seen me…but you saved me…and now this…it's wonderful, don't even question that…I'm hugely in debt to you." "Oh no you aren't, and never will be." I retorted rocking her a bit, trying to calm her down, to pour some sense comfort and security into her. That's exactly what she deserves. But I couldn't just not notice her petite form being so shaken, scarred and emotionally drained…but on the other hand, the warmth of her body has woken up something in me…some gentle feeling that nobody in the last few years has managed to wake. And to be honest, I couldn't not notice the height difference between us. She just fitted to me perfectly, like a puzzle. This whole situation displayed how things could change in a relatively short period of time. When I first met her, she seemed so powerful, fierce and that nothing could ever reach her…but that soon proved me wrong when she confessed her part of the story about her family to me and later when I saw her so distressed about the possibility of Paul leaving again and the chance of seeing her husband and two sons again too. That was the moment when she broke down in front of me, stripping herself from all the layers of fake and unreal image of a cruel vicious woman…and when I confronted her, or rather said saved her from doing something to herself later she broke down even more, leaving nothing hidden on her, showing me her real emotions.

I could feel her breathing on my chest, her hands clenching my back like a person holding onto a rope avoiding falling down to a hot volcano. And honestly…it felt…great to have her close like this. I know that I've admitted that this woman had some strange power over me, and this moment only proved me right. She faced me again with her dark orbs, this time a bit watery. "Don't cry again." I caressed her cheek, wiping away the lone tear that has managed to escape her eye. She smiled widely through her tears, keeping her hands on my chest. "See, I cannot control my emotions…again…what you see now is a mix of result from distress, fear and happiness." I let her continue, feeling the warmth whenever she would say such words. "I am happy that we escaped that…life threatening situation and that you've managed to get me here and that…." She sighed for wiped her eyes and faced me a fierce look that I knew so well. "And that I have you in my life. You have become like a guardian angel to me. I would have never thought that events in my life would turn out like this. But you ignited some spark of hope inside me." "But?" I felt that there was something that she skipped. "But I don't know how long it will take me to feel secure again." I decided to use my power on her again. "Nothing's ever gonna happen to you here, nobody knows about this place believe me. Nobody's gonna find you here." I pressed her gently to my chest, her face resting at the crook of my neck. I patted her head gently again, enjoying our embrace, thinking about all the events of this day so far. "You want to take a look at this place? What do you say?" breaking the hug and picking up the backpack from the ground I decided to change the topic and enlighten the situation by trying show Noore that she's gonna be fine here, that is of course for how long she wants to stay here. "Gladly…" She flashed her smile at me, and I felt that my knees would have weaken so much that I would lose my balance if she didn't proceed towards the house, inspecting the surroundings. "I didn't know that this place existed." "Yep, how could you. I didn't know it too until a few days back. My father used this place as some kind of a secret operations base. When I realized that you could be in danger by staying in the Shanath for longer I started to look for a solution to this problem. I looked through some of my father's journals and materials that he left in Banapur and I found a reference to this place. I came here yesterday to inspect this place and found it in a pretty good shape and the most important thing is that it's in such an unreachable place that nobody would surely ever find or even look for. It holds no importance to the Golden Path, the older members who knew about this place are either dead or they don't actively engage in today's activities so nobody effectively knows about this place. I even tried to clean the place, emptying the drawers, making some space for you that you could use for your own purposes. And as you can notice we are pretty high in terms of altitude so that's another bonus which ensures the fact that nobody from the Golden Path or from Pagan's army goes into place such as this. No reason to inspect places like this." I put the key into the lock, opening the door in one swift motion. "Well this is what it is. I know it's not much, but better than nothing I guess." She stepped inside and scouted the place with her mouth half open. I looked at Noore to see the amazement in her eyes. "Not much? It is amazing Ajay. In all honesty, this place looks really modest and believe me maybe I may not look like on first sight but I don't require all the luxury things in my life…that is for Pagan maybe, but certainly not for me. You saw my personal place at the Shanath. Pagan offered me many things, someone would say they were ostentatious. But I refused everything, I only wanted to see my family again." I was really glad to hear that she like this place although it was bit old and dusty. "Soooo…you like it?" I asked her already knowing the answer. "I love it! Honestly, it's everything I would have hoped for. It's nice and cozy here and it has that significant comforting feeling you probably know what I'm talking about. Maybe you've added all these things yesterday but anyway it feels great. I can totally imagine that fireplace emanating a welcoming warmth and light." She pointed her index finger at the old fireplace that was not used for decades probably. In all honesty it was more a small cabin than a proper big Kyrati house. But that didn't matter as it has all what one person would need. The generator outside provided some limited electricity for lighting and for the electric hob. The inside was made of thick wooden panelling, keeping the warmth inside and also generating the overall "warm and welcoming feeling" of the place. Opposite of the fireplace was a comfortable looking couch large enough just to fit three people, covered with a red blanket. There was a medium sized drawer, hopefully large enough to store Noore's clothes (yeah, women are all the same) with a small chest of drawers beside it. A double bed covered by several blankets offered a deep sleep for anyone who would want to crash his body for the night here. The small library that stored some Kyrati books and some classical western world pieces of literature provided a source for intellectual way of spending free time. Although the place still looked a bit dusty it provided some comfort in this high altitude. Like a weekend cabin in the woods where you go to rest, enjoy your free time with your family and possibly regenerate your strength. The "kitchen" part of the cabin looked small in size but was fitted with everything you can imagine getting in this country. Different kinds of smuggled goods that I had brought up here yesterday filled the cupboards and I didn't forget to add some "sweet stuff" to satisfy Noore's sweet tooth. Well at least I hoped she had one, based on her love of jellybeans. It had enough food to satisfy one or two persons for weeks. Noore's definitely gonna love it here. I could feel it, I could smell it in the air. She's gonna be happy here. At least for the limited amount of time she's gonna spend here. She wouldn't be afraid, stressed or cold anymore. And when she will want to receive my company, I will gladly come here for a conversation or for anything she would want. "Well if you would ever want to use it, there are some logs of wood that I chopped yesterday. I knew that you would want to use that fireplace at least once, so I tried to prepare everything possible for you. I wouldn't let a delicate being like you do stuff like that, that's for men, not for you. And I knew that you're gonna definitely enjoy it when you will be in the mood to just sit here and relax." I smirked at her seeing the amused look on her face as she freed her hair from her loose bun fixing it at they fell around her shoulder like a dark waterfall. "I do not consider myself as a gentle being…" Chuckling at her silly response, I decided to retort a bit. "I know, no I'm certain that inside…you definitely are." She looked at me, with her eyes shining giving the finishing touch to her glowing face. "And no retorts!…" I put my index finger just centimetres from her lips, giving her the signal to believe in herself. "Okay…" Did I just notice a tiny, tiny blush that dusted her cheeks? Nah, I was just imagining it, but it would be amazing to see her like that. "That's not everything! Do you think I would forget your taste? That I would let you starve here just by yourself? Nope, that ain't happening. Not until I'm around." Grabbing her hand and pulling her alongside me I couldn't miss her questioning raised eyebrows and her facial expression barely containing her laughter caused by my silly actions and words. "I brought you these as well." I opened the cupboard and picked up a pocket of jelly beans shaking the pack in front of her. "Ajay, you didn't forget that I love those! I see now, it's rare to see a man completely concentrated when listening to a woman's rambling through a phone, but somehow you managed to hold on with me back then and you remembered something. Again, your girlfriend must love you so much." 'No, not again' I bit my tongue inside my mouth, not wanting to start an entirely new topic, something that hasn't been covered between us yet. Instead I kept my cool nature continuing with our innocent playful subject. "Yeah, I guess I concentrated on you for that few seconds then." When I saw her raised eyebrows and the corners of her mouth rolling into a smile I couldn't hold it anymore. "Just kidding, of course I listened to you patiently all the way. I love talking to you…but anyway, I guess from your reaction that you'll find this place to be rather suited to your needs and liking." She scanned the kitchen area with her piercing eyes like a hawk, noticing the messy way in which all the supplies were put there. "Although it's apparent that a man was trying to clean this place up and stacked all this stuff here, you did a pretty good job. I cannot wait to unpack my stuff." "I'm looking forward to seeing you enjoy this place, as much as you will want. That's all up to you…" "Thank you Ajay, I don't know what else I can even say." Sighing I thought about how lucky we are that we have managed to get through that mess. Normally I wouldn't think about it, when I'm doing stuff on my own it never crosses my mind. I comes and goes automatically…like riding a bike, or playing the piano…but today it felt different, I felt the huge amount responsibility. It was because I wasn't alone on my own, and another person, another life depended on my imminent actions. And that person wasn't just some random unknown being, it was Noore. She holds some kind of a special place in my mind, that I can't bring up myself to classify her in some group or category. Of course she's a friend, but that term alone does not describes her enough. I feel that she understands me somehow…and that I understand her, too. It's too much for me sometimes to think about it. "Shall we go outside?" Deciding how to proceed, my thought drifted off to a question that has been on my mind earlier today. "Sure, I know that I'm gonna spend much time here inside, so why don't we enjoy the fresh Kyrati air." I didn't know in that moment if she meant it ironically or not, but by the way she swayed gracefully I guess both.

We sat on the wooden porch just right in front of the cabin, about a meter to the right by the front door. The air was filled with the scent of nearby pines and a pack of sambars could be seen in the distance climbing down the hill. "Now that we are here, and you are safe and sound, and what's more you seem to like it here…" "No I love it here." She interrupted me flashing one of her smiles that were so rare to see, and thankfully she used them more often than not as time went by. "I wanted to ask you…" I took a deep breath. "What are your plans for the future…I mean for the nearby future. If you want to stay here for longer, or if you want to leave soon or like…really soon…" I could see her smile drop as she stood up, like if she didn't want to face me. "I'm sorry if I'm asking this too soon, or if I hurt you in some way or if I invaded your privacy…" I stood up too, feeling the need to be close to her. She turned her head in my direction the sad look evident in her eyes. "Honestly...I don't know, I know that I will eventually return to US, but I haven't thought about it yet. When or how…I don't know…" Her eyes were concentrated on some rock on the ground and her hair covered the side of her face that was visible to me. "Well I can do anything you would want me to….well everything that I can manage to do. I met this guy called Willis Huntley, he works as a secret CIA spy here and he has access to the airport after I cleared it for him from Pagan's soldiers…I mean if you would want I could get you some passport from him and a way to go home…you could be going home in the next few days if you would want…" After few seconds, she turned her head abruptly at me, exhaling deeply her eyebrows furrowing. "So that was your original plan? Hmmm?" Her angered retort surprised me. "I don't understand what you mean…" "You clearly know what I mean!" Her hands started shaking as she clenched them in fists supressing the anger within her. "You just led me to believe that you really want to help me! To believe that you truly think something different about me, that you really see me as a human being and not just some tool. You would stop me from killing myself and then you would bring me here just to tell me that you can manage to get me out of here in the next few days…and the next thing would be 'Can you lead me to Yuma? Don't you remember, you promised me that'…that was all you wanted from me, that's the only reason why you didn't let me kill myself just so that I would give you some info on Yuma and Pagan right? Go….just go and leave me alone here!" I couldn't believe her words, why would she think something like that? My stomach twisted sickly as I saw her turn around and glide a few meters away from me. I didn't want this to happen, I felt horrible. I cut the distance between us and put my hand on her shoulder. "Noore…" "Don't touch me!" She snatched her shoulder away from my hand. But I wasn't the one to get rebuffed easily. "Noore, listen to me…" "I SAID GO AWAY!" She yelled, not turning to face me just for a second. I had enough, this was just silly. I grabbed both of her shoulders firmly, the second time this day turning her around to face me only to see the anger and hurt on her face, her tears slowly starting to roll down. "Listen to me for a second!" I lowered my face to hers and kept looking deeply into the depths of her eyes. "I would never use you like that! NEVER! Do you hear me? NEVER!" I raised my voice to emphasize my own persuasion. "From the moment I heard about your family I wanted to sincerely help you. I saw how you were hurting without them, that you were not some soulless creature that came here to torture people like Paul. And when I heard about their fate, you wouldn't believe how much it hurt me to hear that they were already dead. That I would have to face you with these news. And then, when I saw you, when you heard everything from me…about them, something broke inside me…I felt somehow responsible for bringing you in that state when you nearly took your own life. But I knew that you still had and have things to live for. Something inside me was telling me to just talk to you…and how much have I grown to love to just talk to you, to spent time with you. You understand me probably like nobody has ever managed to do." Another stream of tears came from her eyes. "I would never do anything to hurt you…and somehow…I've grown to care about you, too." I decided to take the initiative and press her to my chest, embrace her completely so she would feel that I really meant what I said. She wept quietly, her gentle frame shaking as I caressed her back. "Do you think I would use you like that?" I felt her shook her head. "I'm sorry Ajay, I don't know what came to me…I guess I'm too afraid of anything new in my life. I know you wouldn't use me like I told you…" her hiccups stopped her from continuing. "Shhh, don't worry, I'm not mad at you." "I'm afraid of losing the only person that has been good to me in the last few years. The only person than I can rely on and open myself up to…..it may sound silly but right now I'm afraid of losing you." Her confession made me feel much better. "I don't want to lose you too…" I replied to her keeping her gentle body like a porcelain doll in my arms. "Then why did you mention the immediate choice of going back to US so early?" "I honestly wanted to offer you an opportunity to go home. If you would have accepted that I wouldn't have protested, although I admit it would sadden me if you would leave, but as long as it would be something good for you, I would accept it. I don't want you to leave but it's your choice. Do you understand now?" I brought up her head to face me, seeing the positive change of expression. She smiled slightly and shook her head. But I knew I had to tell her the other not so positive thing. "I'm glad…It pains me to say, especially now, but I will have to go." "Already?" She asked me with an apparent sad tone in her voice. "Yes, I would gladly spent more time with you here, but I have to keep helping the Golden Path. And the worse thing is, I feel that Sabal and Amita have many tasks on their minds and that brings more problems and it goes like a chain. I really hate to say it, but I may not be able to come and see you for quite some time now." It really pained me to say this, but the truth was that I had wanted to patrol the only road that lead to this secret place, so that I would be sure that neither Pagan or the Golden Path would have any interest in going here, it was all for Noore's safety. Both parties will get the word about the 'action' at Shanath and would try to at least observe the whole situation. And on the other hand, Sabal and Amita had a lot on their minds too, and their tasks were not the only ones I had to complete for the Golden Path. I didn't make me feel well at all, but I knew that when I will eventually come to see Noore she will be definitely happy to see me. And why not do all the important stuff for the Golden Path in one few days sequence? That way I will have more free time on my hands…either for myself or for sharing it with Noore. "For how long?" I noticed she closed her eyes for a few second while she waited for my answer. "I may not be able to pay you a visit...maybe even for a few days." She turned her saddened eyes to me, with her mouth half open. I felt a painful sting hit my heart and stomach. "That long?" "Trust me, I would spent my time here talking to you or doing whatever would come to your mind but…." She sighed. "I understand…" Her voice trailed off a bit at the end. I pulled her into another hug again, wanting to make her feel secured and not afraid or sad anymore. "And another thing…the signal from my phone probably won't reach this place, so…" "No phone calls?" "Yeah…." Honestly, who am I going to talk to in the next few days? In this short period of time I've grown to be used so much to Noore's presence, or just at least to hear her voice through the phone. It was obvious that she was sad at situation too, that's why I held her and gently caressed her hair. "I know I've probably told you this sometime already but…don't get hurt…okay?" I loved it when she was not afraid to show her caring side. "Don't worry, you will see me again in not so long believe me. It won't be too long." I pressed my nose to the top of her head feeling the significant scent of her hair mixed with her flawless perfume. She relaxed visibly after feeling my action. I could only wonder if a tiny blush covered her cheeks now for real…or maybe I wasn't just imagining it earlier today. But I already knew, that when I'll finally be able to get rid of my obligations, I'm gonna be very desperate to see her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: I** **'ve Loved These Days**

"Mr. Chiffon? Are you here?" I knocked on the door of the wooden shack that belonged to him, or at least I thought it did since I met him at this place when he first called me about his 'Kyrati fashion week' event. Mumu Chiffon, what an unbelievable, crazy guy. A real weirdo if you would ask me. Another person who seems to be lost here, lost in his life and his previous connections to Pagan didn't add up too well to the whole mix. His ridiculous sense of fashion was the first obvious feature everyone would notice upon meeting him. Then you add his 'heated up' way of talk and you have the perfect combination of a totally ridiculous person. Even Pagan doesn't reach the level of his ridiculousness, even with his pinkish slim fit suit, dyed blonde weird haircut and his way of being very particular with his words. Hell the suit was one of Mr. Chiffon's masterpieces, that's what he told me last time. And what exactly was I doing here…well it may sound a bit unreal but I needed his help. After the somewhat crazy events of the last week, I was finally going to visit the one person who have probably anticipated my return to her very much. Hopefully now more than before, because I can imagine her anxiousness as more days counted on adding to my absence. Not only imagine, hell I felt the same way that I imagine or hope she is feeling. My heart was beating madly in my chest, like when you are preparing for your final exams at university. I wanted to give her a present, and Mr. Chiffon was the only one from here that could provide me the exact fulfilment of my idea. And if she won't like it…well, at least it will provide something useful for her.

"Hold on, I'm coming!" came the throttling voice from inside. Shortly after, the door opened to reveal Mr. Chiffon in his full white suit with a rubber meter for clothes hanging around his neck. His face turned into a smile that seemed just….weird to me. I knew the guy was probably gay, don't get me wrong nothing against him, but I hope I didn't give out any wrong…signals, that would indicate that I'm orientated the same way as he is. Definitely not. Not after the dream I had last night. I still didn't understand the meaning of it, I knew that I have never expected or…desired for something like that to happen. It wouldn't be right for me to imagine or desire for such things to happen.

 _I was slowly walking up the hill, finding my way through the thick forest that covered my father's secret location. Well now it was not so secret anymore. It was put to a good use. After all these days of not being able to talk to her or just see if she's ok, I was extremely anxious to just quickly cut the path that divided me from my destination. In this quite short time that I've known her I've managed to develop a strong special bond with her. It was like we knew what the other one was thinking. Like we understood each other on a whole new level that I could never imagine would exist. I unzipped my jacket feeling the heat from climbing all the height that led to my father's place. The light fresh breeze caressed my cheeks and I felt that something new is gonna happen today. When I had finally managed to reach a spot from where only a short paved road created the last step to my goal I noticed her sitting on the wooden bench, blanket draped over her shoulders, as if she was waiting here, looking out if I would finally come today. When she spotted me, she stood up from her place, her blanket dropping in the process and literally started to run towards me. It took her only a few seconds to reach me. She stood in front of me for a second and smiled at me, her eyes glowing. "Ajay, you're finally here" After saying this she threw herself at me, hugging me fiercely as if never wanting to let me go. "I'm here now…" I managed to whisper to her ear before she pulled away and looked at me. "Ajay I…" That's when she started to approach me, or rather say started to close the gap between us her face getting close to mine, her eyes eying me almost lovingly. I stood there frozen not able to do or say anything as she stood on her tiptoes and caressed my cheek. My face heated up as I felt her lovely scent in my nose and her breath on my face. I couldn't broke my eyes from her eyes or her lips. Just as she was centimetres away from my lips…I woke up trying to recollect in my head what exactly just happened in my…dream._

"Oh Ajay, good to see you in one piece my fierce warrior. I'm sure that those tasks that I'm sending you must give you a headache from time to time, don't they? But they are worth it, believe me when I say I've never managed to get my hands on such materials as you have sent me so far." He gesticulated to show his amusement with all the skins and leathers I've collected for him already. "Yeah, well I'm glad you like it…listen, I came here for your help." I managed to stutter awkwardly, being in a close presence with this guy made me feel uneasy. It was weird. He closed the door behind me, gliding like a ballerina around me making a twist inside his shack almost knocking over a figure that stood there. "What can an artist like me provide to you? I'm listening, anything I can do for you that is within my range of skills will be yours." Again his weird way of talking. "Those skins and leathers you're sending me are exquisite, I'm your servant as long as you want now. Do you need something for your athletic build?" He bowed to me, roiling the weirdly smelly air that was in his shack. I backed up a step from him putting both of my hands in front in a defending manner. "Actually no, it's not gonna be for me." "Aaaah, something for your lovely lady? For your girlfriend I suppose?" I gulped trying not to blush when I knew that I came here to request something from him that would fit Noore. "I got everything your heart would desire to see her in. No one could ever match the magnificent style of Mumu Chiffon!" He exclaimed gesturing to the dresses that were stored behind him. "Well, you got that part right. I'm looking for some dresses for my…girlfriend, if it'll make it easier for you." This was really starting to get difficult for me. "I need something casual for her as well. You know something that she can wear on a normal day, nothing too special." "Don't worry Ajay, I got everything your lady needs." He moved to his racks and boxes of clothing. "Take something casual but also something for a bit colder weather, you know for chilly evening kind of Kyrati weather." I tried to make a small joke, just to get rid of the light blush that crept on my face when hearing Mr. Chiffon talk about my non existing girlfriend, when in fact he was actually referring to Noore. "Ooooh yes, you're right, I myself feel that cold more often than not". His weird giggles filled the air around me, making me more uncomfortable again. "And could you look for a nice dress or two too?" I asked him, hoping that he has something not too extravagant like you would expect but something nice and not too revealing. "No problem, no problem." His answer came as he looked through all the racks and piles of clothing. "I got what you need Ajay, but there is one single important thing that you haven't told me yet. Without that I cannot give you what your heart desires." I could only imagine what would be next in his line of thoughts. "I don't know the measures of your lovely lady…" "Measures?" I hoped he didn't want me to reveal some details I didn't know. "Yes, I cannot give you any pieces from my collection and from the stuff that has Pagan has supplied me with before he tried to kill me." I scratched the back of my head, feeling foolish for not thinking about such an obvious fact that would be necessarily required in this exact situation. "Would it help you if I would use a comparison? If I would mention someone who has the exact…measures as my…girlfriend" What have I gotten myself into? "Certainly. That is of course if I know that lady you're gonna mention" I sighed heavily, knowing what was to come now. "Do you know Noore?" I tried not to be too obvious about knowing too many facts about her, just so that Mr. Chiffon would think that I'm using a fairly well known woman here in this country. "You mean Noore Najjar who runs the Shanath?" The guy clearly didn't suspect anything suspicious. "Yes, exactly her. She is almost the exact copy in terms of…measures as my girlfriend. You do know her, right?" Sounding not very hopeful was pretty difficult in this situation. "Oh yes. Of course I do." He shook his head rubbing his palm with his right hand, clearly remembering Noore. "A great beauty. Really magnificent woman, truly beautiful. But sad and broken too….or that's what I remember when I met her at Pagan's palace few years ago when I was still working for him. She came to receive his orders. He was so mocking to her. And she seemed just…sad. It wasn't a good sight to see such a beautiful woman being so down. But anyway, I think I remember her measures very well. How couldn't I, none of our Kyrati models has ever had looks like her." He started to pack some clothes into a large brown paper box, adding some comfortable shoes in the process, not thanks to my memory forgetting that Noore will something on her feet, not just her crafty sandals. I noticed he packed some classic light trousers, jeans, shirts, blouses and all this kind women clothing, adding at least two dresses that seemed nice to me from the single glance that I managed to capture. And thankfully after me telling him to skip all the traditional Kyrati clothing he chose only some normal modern stuff that he had available too, luckily. I didn't think that Noore would want any more of that stuff as I could imagine she had enough of those in all these years she has spent here. She will be definitely happy to have something on that is more loose and comfortable and not so complicated just to represent her as a 'Mother eagle watching her Kyrati children' from Shanath. After thanking him, promising him to bring more of that rare stuff he wants and convincing him that I really don't need anything on my 'athletic build' I exited his shack with the box in my hands. Putting it to the truck on the backseat, I decided not to wait a single moment more and finally head to the hidden location that no one apart from me knew about. After the last few days I could count one more person that knew about that place and currently occupied it as well. My secret friend and companion whose existence I had to cover up as much I could. And who surely waited for me to finally show up.

As I approached my destination I felt that familiar urging feeling in my stomach. Is she gonna greet me well? Won't she be mad at me for being away for so long? For not being able to stop by and visit her? Or is she gonna greet me the same way she did in my last night's dream? I didn't know in that moment what would I do if that exact situation would have happened…would I be happy? Would I reject her? Or would I be just simply confused? Honestly I didn't know, I knew that Noore has become important to me, and she was…beautiful, that is something that I have to admit, but imagining things that happened in my dream that was more than confusing for me. Taking a deep breath was the first thing for me to do, when I hopped out from my truck, leaving the box for Noore on the backseat deciding that I needed to see her first. Quickly cutting my way through the forest caused me to get hot, exactly as it happened in my dream. I started to feel a bit déjà vu when I unzipped my jacket catching my breath. My breath was getting quicker, maybe it was from anxiety to see Noore again, maybe it was from the anxiety that the events would roll out the way they did in my dream. When I reached the stone paved road that led to the cabin I stopped for a second reminding myself that I'm actually here, and this is not a dream. Honestly, I was really happy that I would see Noore again. Her presence, her laugh, her smile, her voice and her ability to reach deep inside me was something that I knew that it would be senseless to deny the fact I love all those features on her. The slightly chilly breeze blew around me in a similar way that I had remembered from my dream. I looked upon my destination and as I expected…there she was. But one thing was different, she was sitting on the wooden bench, blanket draped over her shoulders, but she wasn't looking in my direction, she was reading a book. I immediately remembered my present for her and a sparkle of hope ignited inside me that it was in fact Gone with the Wind she was reading. I smiled to myself, not making a single sound trying to be quiet as possible as I started to cut the distance between us. Just as I was to make my first step she looked up as if she felt she wasn't alone anymore. Her eyes fixed on me, her mouth opened a bit expressing the pleasant surprise that was caused by my presence. Déjà vu, that's all I could think of as she stood up and put her book on the bench, her blanket falling down there as well and started to walk towards me. I noticed she quickened her pace as I neared her and a gentle smile formed on her lips. As the distance between us was getting shorter and shorter we both simultaneously sped up, in the end almost running towards each other.

I opened my mouth trying to get some meaningful words out, but nothing came out. Noore's giggles gave me the realization how foolish I must have been in that moment. She smiled her beautiful full smile while looking at me with a gentle look in her eyes. When I was about to expect her to say something or…do something she hit my chest with her right hand balled into a fist. "Did it have to take a full week to do all those things for the Golden Path?" She asked me angrily, her eyes piercing mine, trying to express her displeasure. I didn't know how to react. "I'm sorry…I – I…" I stammered trying to get at least some kind of apology to her, failing miserably making myself look like a fool. A waterfall of giggles followed after my embarrassing tries to make an apology. I looked at Noore to see her rolling with laughter enjoying the fact that she caught me in her little prank. "Ajay…" She told me sweetly, her lips curling into another beautiful smile, and grabbed my hand. "I was just joking! I'm very happy that you are here" I tried to come up with a reply but I didn't get a chance to do so as Noore quickly took the situation in her hands and hugged me firmly. Feeling her soft body on mine, her face at the crook of my neck I literally lost it right there and I hugged her back with equal strength refused the strong feeling to kiss her hair in a friendly way if that's even possible. "I'm sorry that it took me so long, that wasn't just able to…reach to you. Believe me I would have given anything to check on you for a few minutes." "I know, don't worry." We stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the comfort that our embrace provided us. When I think about it, maybe we really are two lost souls, two people who have lost something in their lives and who are both equally hurt. I know that Noore's loss can't be compared to mine, it's true that I had lost my mother and that I don't have any close relatives that I know of, but Noore lost her husband, whom she loved dearly I presume and she also lost her children. Her sons. That is something that I cannot imagine. When you become a parent I guess your life changes for good. And losing you children in such a cruel way, while living in a lie, being told that they are still alive and doing cruel things for them. I would do the same, if I was in her place. Heck I would kill anybody who would try to hurt Noore now. Somehow the events of our lives turned out so badly that it both led us to find the other so we would understand each other and be like a supporting pillar to one another. At least that what I was thinking about in that moment. "I hope you haven't planned anything for yourself because I have things on my mind that I want to discuss with you, and some other stuff to do, too." I had my mind set on taking her today somewhere off, just spending some time with her which would help my mind to just get off from all the stress I have to experience on day to day basis in this civil war here. "Anything you want Ajay, I will gladly enjoy any idea that you are going to come up with, believe me." Her slight dimples on her cheeks were probably the most satisfying thing to see. I couldn't help to not notice how she looked. Just better and better. I know I've already admitted that I do consider Noore beautiful in her own way, but now in this moment she just somehow managed to take my breath away. With that beautiful smile of hers plastered on her face, the playful look in her eyes and her rosy red lips she reminded of…..an role model beauty who could be an inspiration for other women and possibly younger girls too . She was a beauty, no doubt. And now it was even harder to ignore this fact, mostly thanks to my last night's dream. But I promised myself that I would not think about her in such terms, she was a great friend, someone who understood me, someone with whom I could talk to, she was a significant persona, but I can't think about her in terms of…love stuff. Just no. She just lost her family and she must still be hurting inside. She doesn't show it on the outside anymore, but I am pretty sure that there are times when she thinks about her family and with those thoughts come all the negative emotions. And although she stated that she has reconciled with them being…forever away from her, I don't think she would want to fall in love with someone. And if she will find someone whom she will eventually fall in love with, it's definitely not gonna be me, ever. I wished her only the best, all the happiness there is, she deserves it after going through so much for so long. And if she'll want to keep me as her close friend in her future life I'll be more than happy with that. "Come, I want to show you how I have made this place cosier." She pulled my hand to the direction of the cabin. I didn't protest knowing that it would have little to no effect in this situation. "Okay, but there is some stuff waiting down in my car that is for you. Something that you're gonna definitely like. Or at least I hope so that you're gonna like it." She stopped just as she was about to open the door, and turned her head back to look at me smiling gracefully as ever. "Well that'll have to wait. I look forward to anything that you have brought me, but first you got to see it here." I furrowed my brows, following her strong lead, feeling the commitment in her actions. "You're gonna like it." The soft touch of her hand was all that I needed to convince me. She had such a delicate fingers, I could only imagine how her caress would feel on my face just as I experienced in my dream. When she opened the door and glided inside all I could almost immediately feel the warmth and the spinning aroma. Yes it was her significant scent, Noore's scent that surrounded her everywhere she went. It was so intoxicating that I had to close my eyes for a second before opening them, proving to myself that I was actually in fact still conscious. "I hope you don't mind if I have rearranged it here a bit. I felt that it needed a bit of let's say woman's touch." Her melodic voice gave the finishing touch to the complex pleasant feeling this place emanated. "No definitely not, it looks great here, better than when I came here. You seemed to somehow awaken this place. It looks so much more inviting and comforting." And it was the truth. She arranged some pieces of furniture in a more reasonable way, cleaned the dust, put some warm looking red blankets on the couch and fixed the overall mess that I haven't managed to get rid of – I was a guy after all. "I'm glad that you feel that way…" I noticed she moved across the room, happily scurrying around this place. She ran her fingers on a cover of a book that she had on her nightstand beside her bed. I noticed that it was Scarlett. "I – I really hope…that…" she paused and sat on the bed looking as if she was feeling embarrassed. The bed itself didn't look so cold and unused anymore. The pillows looked wrinkled and I could imagine that if I would have tried to press my nose them I would feel the beautiful scent that accompanies Noore everywhere. "What?" I smirked at seeing her trying to find words. Her, the powerful, fierce and confident Noore Najjar. "I tried to make it as comfortable as possible so you wouldn't mind spending time here. Because I would be really happy if you want to spend some time with me, just chit – chatting, or we could have a glass of wine…or anything." The light blush on her face was evident as she averted her eyes down. She reminded now of some cute little puppy. I walked over to her and kneeled on one knee in front of her and pushed her chin upwards so she would face me. "Don't you ever doubt the fact about me wanting to spent time with you. I love talking to you. You know that I feel like I can tell you anything. Believe me that I plan to spend as much time here with you as I will be able to, as long as you will want me to." She smiled at me, showing her slight dimples on her cheeks. "And wine?" I didn't know where it could come from. "Yeah, you wouldn't believe that but I found a few bottles stored here. So I guess…" Her attempts were just so cute. "Of course I will gladly enjoy a glass with you anytime." We stayed in our positions for a minute when I noticed that it looked like I was proposing to her, kneeling on one knee and looking at each other expecting what the other one will do. I stood up pulling Noore's hand so she would do the same, her legs betraying her in the process which resulted in her almost falling down back on the bed. "Have you already had a glass? Or should I say a bottle?" I couldn't resist the urge to tease her after seeing her so relaxed and happy. "I'm not drunk, I'm just clumsy now!" When I didn't stop laughing at her she punched my shoulder lightly. "Stop it! You pulled me up, it was your fault!" The corners of her mouth just couldn't hold it anymore as she burst out laughing pressing her forehead to my chest as she tried to catch her breath again. It was so good to see her just…happy, it made me smile so much. "I'm gonna bring you the stuff that I had mentioned to you when I arrived here okay? Just wait a sec, it's in my car." I hugged her for a second, her petite body fitting to mine like a puzzle again. "And don't get drunk for real while I come back with it okay?" I shouted at her as I opened the door. Her giggles sounded in my ears as I shook my head outside when I imagined us drinking the wine for real later.

"I hope it doesn't look weird or anything but I thought that you might like some new pieces in your closet. Don't get me wrong I'm no fashion designer or anything but hopefully you're not gonna kill me if there is something you don't find particularly fitting." I was sweating in that moment. After I opened the box, Noore's curiosity drew her to the box, finding it full of "greetings" from Mr. Chiffon. Noore's eyes started to shine like two little bright stars as she looked at the contents of the box with a disbelieving look on her face. "Where did you all get that?" She picked up one of the dresses and caressed the smooth material with her fingers trying the dress if it fitted her measures. "Well the answer is quiet simple…do you know Mr. Chiffon?" She stopped browsing the box and pulling out all the clothes and looked at me. "You mean Mumu Chiffon? That ridiculous guy who served as Pagan's royal dress maker and stylist? The guy who designed all of Pagan's terrible suits himself? He was the one who got you this?" "Exactly. I hope you don't mind that it's from him, he doesn't work for Pagan anymore." I noticed her shaking her head while chuckling quietly folding a black A – cut skirt in her lap. "No of course I don't. He wasn't a psycho, I just didn't expect him to have such a nice pieces as you have brought me here. And from the first brief look, they all seem to fit me pretty well, that's weird…" Feeling her being curious in this moment, I knew that she probably won't believe my explanation for this particular question of hers. "How did he know my exact measures? All of the pieces here so far seem to fit my size pretty well…" Scratching the back of my head I saw Noore's eyes searching for a reasonable answer. "I told him that I'm looking for a few pieces for my girlfriend…and I told him that she is exactly like you…in terms of, you know…" Her small blush could be seen on her cheeks again. "Ajay, you – you flatter me when you tell people that I look as good as your girlfriend looks. Never mind, it's good that he got the right idea from you. I remember I met the guy, long time ago when I wasn't here for very long…funny he remembered how I looked…" She smirked and put some of her newly folded shirts in her dresser. I decided to not react on the girlfriend part…it still pains me when I think about it even now. "He even told me that how could he not remember a woman like you. Supposedly none of the Kyrati models has ever had looks like you…" The burst of laughter was the exact thing that I supposed would happen. "That fool…but at least he has something nice to put on…I was already getting tired of all the complicated Kyrati robes after I didn't need to lead the Shanath anymore. They felt like some heavy metal chains on me. I got used to wearing them, but it's not a part of my essential style." "I'm glad that you like it. Anyway, I had something in my mind, if you're set on spending time with me. Put on some warmer clothes and some boots, I saw that he also packed one of them. We are going to take a small trip today." She stepped towards me her excitement written on her face, almost immediately making me happy too. "As long as you don't take me straight to the Himalayas I'll follow you everywhere!" "Well, then get something on you, I'll wait outside. Don't take too long." I knew that she will. Obviously. "I won't." But I didn't mind. Seeing her happy like this made my heart melt. And the fact that I've found somebody that I can consider special in her was a massive bonus to it.

"Put on your seat belt. You remember that safety is always first." I commanded my female companion slightly when we entered my car, getting ready for our short journey. Noore didn't protest to my commands, only a barely visible frown could be seen on her face and I was pretty sure that she meant to make such a grimace as joke and that she wasn't angry with me. "This thing won't fit in…" The clicking sound of Noore finally putting the seatbelt successfully, gave me the signal to head out. "Is it gonna take long to get there?" Her question came almost as if a child would ask it. When I think about kids, to be honest I can't imagine myself being a father now, maybe one day. Maybe it's because I have nobody with whom I could share all the happiness and burdens that come with it. With such responsibility. But hearing Noore's childish question in a way that almost impossible not to call cute, I was sure back then it would be lovely to have a daughter that would make such comments as my female companion did just now. "Wait and see. And if you ask me again like if you were my daughter or niece or what, I won't tell you anything either." I raised my eyebrows at her seeing the frown on her face as she stuck out her tongue at me. "No, not that. You are so funny sometimes, you know that?" There was a strong urge to tease her again. It felt so natural. The way we seemed to click together, I have never experienced something like that with anyone. "I know, but I promise I'm not gonna be childish anymore. I just like to enlighten the mood a bit." Her shining smile was the best thing to see. "Believe me you are good at it. It's great to see you happy and relaxed like this. Really great." I squeezed her hand with my right hand while I left my left one on the steering wheel. She smiled in an innocent way, letting go of my hand so I could concentrate on the road ahead.

"I hope this is close enough. And I also hope that you are not afraid of heights. We will take a small mountain path, so prepare to burn the reserves of your energy, but the result is gonna be definitely worth it. Don't forget to hold on properly as well." She chuckled closing the door on the truck behind her. "You are here with me, you wouldn't let me fall, would you?" "Of course I wouldn't, never. Hold on to me whenever you will want". This time I said it without a hint of joke in my voice, ensuring her that she can rely on me in situations like this as well. "Ajay…" The gentle look in her eyes could not be denied as she looked at me, zipping up her sports leather jacket, covering her cardigan. "I know…you don't know how I appreciate it every day of my life now." I can't believe how could she survived here for so long. When she's with me, after I managed to crack the shell of her pain and suffering, she is so sweet to me almost all the time. Before all this, when I knew she needed my help with finding her family, I had the feeling inside that she can be really sweet, but sometimes she still seems to impress me. "Come on." I gave her the signal with my hand, getting excited to show her the view from our destination.

The way upwards to our destination was a bit sloppy from the start, but it when we got used to our both developed tempo we managed to march pretty well. Although the path was sometimes narrow more than enough and the steepness of the hill increased as we got further, Noore seemed to catch up to me all the way. Not once has she complained about the path being too steep or us going too fast or her getting tired, not able to catch a breath. I was surprised that she was so adamant, I knew she held many things hidden about her but sometimes she surprised me even with the small elements of it like now. As we neared almost the end of our journey I wiped the few drops of sweat from my forehead. I noticed Noore doing the same when she noticed the huge boulder that we will have to climb over in order to continue. I pulled myself up with my hands, put down my backpack and laid down on my back for a second exhaling shortly and quickly. "Ajay? Would you help me please, I don't think I can manage this without you…" Her asking for help came just as I had expected, her petite form wasn't obviously built for such performances as I do on regular basis. Without responding audibly I climbed down on my knees straightening both of my hands down in front of Noore. She clutched her hand on my hands and wrists and I used my strength to pull her up, her rugged boots capturing a small narrow slot in the boulder in the process to help herself. Putting her elbows on the cold surface she finally pulled herself up with my help, her nose almost crashing to mine in the process with our face inches apart. "Do you need to take a break?" I was ready to continue, but she seemed exhausted a bit, laying on her back, her chest rising as she exhaled deeply from all the adrenaline. "Just a few seconds, I need to catch my breath" "We are almost there, so no stress, take your time. It's completely fine to show that you are not used to such…let's call it exercises in this environment." She stood up, dusting off her jacket and pants. I took a good look at her outfit. Luckily Mr. Chiffon added some useful warmer sport kind of style clothing for her. She had on a sport dark jacket, zipped up to her neck with a creamy coloured cardigan underneath. She also had on a dark blue jeans that fitted her legs nicely. A pair of brown rugged ankle boots completed her look. Her hair didn't fall around freely around her shoulders as usual, instead she put it in a low ponytail. "Ready?" I held out my hand for her and she readily accepted it and stood up keeping the hold on my hand as we continued on. "The short rocky tunnel, or whatever that is in front of us is the last obstacle that stands before us." The warmth of her hand was giving some strange kind of confidence, pushing me to lead the way. "Careful not to slip on the surface of the rocks here, I don't want us coming out from this trip with a broken leg." She shook her head following my lead through the tunnel. "Are you sure that this is gonna lead us somewhere?" I motioned her to come out to prove herself with her own eyes that it was worth the sweat and effort to come here. There, before our own eyes, was a medium sized clearing with different kinds of colourful flowers that were hard to be seen in Kyrati lowlands. A few pines that were present there created the smell, which contained the mix of the flower's scent and the pine's strong significant smell of needles. The flower's enchanting smell reminded me of Noore's fluffy perfume that filled the cabin now. But the main centre of the sight was a rather small tarn, filled with crystal clear water. The whole place was at a high altitude just as if it was a picture cut out from some encyclopedia and stamped her just for the entertainment and welfare of our eyes. I looked at Noore to see her eyes wide open inspecting the unique piece of nature that was presented before us. Deciding not to lose I pulled her hand, dragging her to the tarn, to sit down at some of the big flat rocks that laid there. "I would have never imagined that such a place could exist in this environment, I mean we are pretty high in terms of altitude and…I didn't know Kyrat could be so…enchanting. It looks so untouched here, so raw and beautiful. But who am I to speak about such things, when I've been locked up in the Shanath for years with the addition of occasional visits to Pagan and personally overseeing the drug processing in some of the strategic objects, as Paul would call them. And it was almost always on Yuma's commands, with her carefully watching the results of my work…" Her face crunched up into a disgusted frown. "It was a great idea from you Ajay, really." She smiled sweetly, changing the frown on her face and let go of my hand, squeezing it lightly. I followed her to the edge looking at the deep gorge that extended over just meters away from us. "I thought that that you would appreciate the change of the overall environment around you. I know you said you love my father's cabin but going out here will definitely do you good. I also had it in mind that I would take you here sometime, and today we had the perfect opportunity. And if you wish to wait here a bit longer here, you will see the beautiful sunset from this vantage point. Then we can return back, what do you say?" I winked at her and pulled down my backpack, searching for a bottle of water. "I will, gladly. I'm sure it's gonna be beautiful."

We made ourselves comfortable, as most as we could in our conditions, sitting on a huge flat boulder that laid beside the tarn. I pulled out my bottled water intending to take a swig when I remember the gentleman I am (I know, it sounds funny, right?) and offered it to the adamant and gentle female being that sat on my right. She accepted it happily commenting again about my gentleman behaviour, not forgetting about it even once as far as she has experienced with me. How could I, she was a lady. Maybe not everyone would consider her being her a real lady when seeing her on first sight but when you get to know to her properly and especially when you uncover her real characteristics you will quickly grow to respect her and like her at the same time. She seemed so graceful to me with everything she did, she radiated some kind of confidence even when talking about her going to a summer vacation with her grandparents in Nepal when she was small. And visiting places in Europe, places I've never heard about. As she described all the details about those times I could only imagine what it looked like. I could imagine young Noore, going hiking with her grandad, asking him about different things extending her knowledge and I could also imagine all the places that looked somewhat like Kyrat with the difference of being prosperous and not having a bloody civil war with a narcissistic dictator. The end result being the destruction of this country turning it into a dangerous zone, leaving only places such as this unaffected. I couldn't tear off my eyes of her as she told about all the adventures, honestly I lost track of time, it was so good to just listen to her.

"You know what this whole place reminds me of? Or rather said what comes to my mind when I look at this scene here?" I noticed the sun has begun to slowly descend to the horizon signalling the sunset is gonna be here shortly. "Tell me." Feeling Noore's curiosity in the air I thought about the best way to put it remembering one small detail about her that she has already told me. "A winter's tale." I simply stated. "A winter's tale?" She asked curiously, looking at me searching for a reasonable explanation. "You remember you told me about your teenage crush or love should I say?" I winked at her, seeing the smile rising on her face remembering what she told me. "You mean Freddie? Winter's tale from their last album when he was already dead? What was the name of it…Made in Heaven, I do remember now…" She looked at me while twirling her fingers cutely. "You're right, it fits here into this environment perfectly the only thing we are missing are the snowflakes falling from above. But it fits very well. As winter falls…red skies gleaming…yes I do remember, such a nice piece…so sad that he didn't manage to see it becoming alive in its full glory now." I smiled a bit bitterly the same way as she did, remembering all the good times I've spent with his pieces. "I've wanted to see the lake Geneve…it must be so enchanting especially during winter. The whole environment giving you that special kind of atmosphere, that Freddie experienced in his last months." Her statement surprised me. I didn't know she could be so sentimental from time to time. "You know, if you'll want…I can take you there sometime in the future, as a trip of…two friends doing crazy things together like visiting Montreux." I could totally imagine that as I stuttered the sentence slowly not wanting to embarrass myself. "Really Ajay?" She grabbed both of my hands in her warm delicate ones her ponytail swinging in the process. For a second I spaced out just looking at her gentle smiling features, imagining our trip to Montreux. "Of course, as long as you will want to, I promise you that I can make it reality. If you will want me to go with you." "Most definitely, I cannot wait." The enthusiasm in her voice burned like a flame. Her eyes shining like two little bright stars, her lips curled up into a smile and her cheeks holding the mild red caused by the slightly chilly wind here. I motioned her with my head to turn around and look and the sunset creating the breath taking scene before us. The sky was coloured in a mix of dark red, orange and purple and the Sun itself emanated the last warm rays of light. "You were right, it's truly beautiful. Thank god I have you to show me that not everything on this world is dead, that not everything is lost. That I can still find things in my life that are beautiful, that don't hurt me or do me bad. And that this country can be so nice in some moments." I stepped closer to her, put my hand on her right shoulder and squeezed her body to mine feeling the smile on her face. "I'm really happy that you've realized that. I knew that you will eventually find out that not everything is lost and dead and although you have lost so much, you can still hold what was very dear to you close in your heart and mind and also find things in life that will make you happy again." I hoped that I didn't sound too melodramatic, but I wanted to be honest with her, always. From the first moment I had met her, I was honest with her, if it was me being mad at start for experiencing the arena or later being concerned about her intentions of hurting herself after hearing the devastating news that I personally had to recite. "Your presence made me happy Ajay after you helped me and saved from that hell. After you have managed to convince me that I still have things to live for, you made me just a bit happy again. I hope I can somehow repay you in the same way." I knew she was honest with me now as I was with her. But that didn't change the fact that she doesn't need to think about repaying me in any possible way. "You know you don't to ever do that. Or even think about that." She chuckled while shaking her head. "I know Ajay, but I want to, believe me." There was a slight pause and I thought about asking her if she wants to stay here for longer but she obviously had other things in mind. "And I want to start now. How about you staying with me for a dinner and a glass of wine after we'll come back, hmmm?" Her offer came as a surprise to me. But a pleasant surprise. "Sure. Why not, gladly." This is gonna be a long day. Longer than I've thought it would be. But I know I will enjoy every lasting moment that I got to spent with Noore.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Confessions**

The Sun has already gone down when we decided to return to my father's cozy cabin. Noore's invite combined with her presence that in these days could outshine every possible dark cloud in my life, has added some kind of essence, some kind of spice to my mood that was foreign to me. It was like an injection to my blood, it circulated in my inner system. I felt the pleasant feeling and the rising heat as we climbed down the hill back to my car with Noore holding my hand through the short slippery tunnel again. As we were getting closer and closer to my father's cabin, my excitement was growing stronger, my heart started beating faster. I told myself that it's just a simple, quickly improvised dinner and a glass of wine shared between two people who understand each other very well, but somehow I couldn't hold off that small tingling inside me that was making these almost butterfly like feels in my stomach. Noore seemed to be looking forward to it as well, having the small gentle smile on her face, radiating happiness.

"I need to change now ok? So stay outside for a while. Ladies need their privacy." She stated teasingly, pushing my shoulder away as she marched towards the door, confidence filling the air around her. "Fine by me." I didn't protest. I needed some time for myself now as well. I didn't want to embarrass myself during the next hours, but I wanted to (maybe) ask Noore a few things that have been on my mind. She has already opened her shell a bit, someone would say a lot, but there were still things that I couldn't see through and things that she definitely needed to confess to me with. I was pretty sure I'm gonna be very much excited to hear about every one of them…if they're gonna be positive. "I'm ready." My train of thoughts was stopped by Noore's sweet voice, breaking my ideas about this evening and turning my focus solely on her. She changed into a pair of simple pants that were a bit loose and a rather tight fitting shirt, that wasn't vulgar or anything, plain and comfortable but it showed her…curves rather well. She pulled her hair out of her ponytail and let it fall freely, creating the black waterfall that I knew so well. She looked so simple and yet….so beautiful in her own way that I couldn't deny it. I just couldn't. It was impossible for me. She radiated something that has caught me in her spell…all the memories from my dream, about her almost…kis…'I can't even say it, damn…' I thought…my dream that consisted of her almost kissing me was just too much to think about in this particular situation. "You look great, I see that Mr. Chiffon's choosings weren't so bad after all, he managed pretty well to your liking." I had to compliment her. Just a bit, just a tiny little bit. She deserved it fully, no doubt. I wasn't trying to hit on her or anything…just give her some nice warm comforting words that would make her feel better and they weren't a lie neither. "Oh please Ajay, it's very simple…nothing fancy or what…but thanks anyway…" She averted her eyes down and held her hands bellow her lap in a cute way like a small embarrassed child avoiding a conversation with an adult. 'Please god, don't make me feel anything more towards her than strong friendship…the other option would ruin our friendship and would make her feel uncomfortable' I thought. But to be honest she was making it really hard for me sometimes. I wasn't sentimental, but she has always managed to draw out this hidden side of me, without even actively trying to persuade it. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently caressed her arm, feeling her delicate skin on my fingers as I put off my gloves earlier. She shivered slightly under my touch, but the small smile didn't leave her lips for a second. "Come inside Ajay. You have managed to infect me with your higher coldness intolerance, so don't make me catch a cold." Yes, she was true. She has seemed to lose her lion skin that she wore when I met her in the arena. Long gone was the broken woman covering herself in a cloak or clothing that hid her wounds from the outside world. She was more vulnerable now. I'm not saying that she's a coward now, or that she can't take care of herself on her own now, but she admits her weaknesses, pains and fears more easily, not wanting to hide them as she now has me to talk to about them beside other things, which were hopefully more positive. "Then why don't I bring up some of those wood sticks that I prepared already, and I can make a small fire and you won't need to worry about the bare parts of your body, OK?" I winked at her, congratulating myself for coming up with such a great idea. That was a bit unusual for me. Her eyes shinned, almost like when you told your kids that Santa Claus is coming tomorrow. "That's gonna be amazing, looking forward to it, go and bring it and I'll think about something for us to eat" I knew she was gonna come up with something good. Something at least a bit creative, given the conditions that we were currently under. "Can't wait for it!" Having no time to waste I closed the door and went to grab a few logs.

As I piled up the logs in the fireplace I noticed that my female companion has already started preparing something to eat for both of us. When I would ask her what exactly is she preparing, if she'll give me some indication or if she needs any help she would just brush me off by saying "Leave that to me, that's my duty. You go and prepare that fireplace, and when it's ready I'm gonna let you know, don't worry. After taking me today to that wonderful place you need something to bite on and I won't let you do it by yourself." Her response was so snappy that I didn't bother her about that particular topic anymore and I decided to invest my energy into making that fireplace glow. The whole process didn't take too long and soon a pleasant warmth spread around the cabin filling the air with the smell of crackling wood with the smoke leaving through a stone chimney. To be honest, this place needed some extra heating and the fire now was the exact provider of that. Looking at Noore I couldn't help but smile at her somewhat childish antics, it's like she never learns. I know that she told me, that she's starting to feel the cold more now, but she still walks around like if nothing changed for her. Wearing only those light pants that thin t – shirt and of course being barefooted, again. Although this place has most of its floors covered by some carpets, the fire and the warmth it provides was much needed in my opinion. "Now it feel so much better here. I cannot wait for that glass of wine." My female companion exclaimed from the "kitchen" while I sat down on the couch inspecting and enjoying my creation combined with the feeling of the whole place. As I replay all the events of today, I cannot say I'm not satisfied or happy with how the things turned out. I was really eager, no desperate to see Noore, to see how she's doing after a week I've been gone. The dream I had…it made me feel so strange, I didn't know what to think about it. Mr Chiffon proved to be a great asset in times like this, providing me with something I could make Noore at least a bit happy, although she always says in these times that my presence alone makes her happy now. I'm always so excited to heart that, it's such always such a joy to experience that. And when I finally managed to come here, her sincere reaction made me connect to her only more and more. Our trip to that beautiful tarn in the mountains proved to be a good idea as she enjoyed it immensely. My reveries was interrupted when Noore announced that she's gonna be ready with our meal in just a minute. I didn't expect anything special, but she would still made the day more awesome with anything.

We enjoyed our dish together, sharing a word or two only, as we very both very occupied with our bottomless stomachs that required their fulfilment. To be honest I was quite hungry and Noore seemed to be as well, as her stomach made some funny noises just as we were about to sit down. Our little dinner was very modest but also somehow classy in my mind. We had a combination of lettuce, some cherry tomatoes, dried ham that I brought here finished with some tasteful dried herbs and garlic. All was drizzled with some olive oil, another addition gained from Pagan's outposts plus we had some Kyrati pastry. I didn't complain a bit about having to eat a dish that was more suited…let's say it was more women style of food, but I enjoyed it greatly. Noore commented on me not being too choosy, after which I replied that she has to believe me when I say that I had to eat things that were way down below the level of this simple, but wonderful treat. She retorted by saying "I'm glad that you didn't reconsider staying here with me, after I had the idea of preparing and presenting this. Maybe I'm a bit too critical on myself, but you know…I haven't had the chance to treat someone like this in years…and I missed it, I admit that. Although I had a full time job that consumed a lot of my time, sometimes I had to bring some of my work stuff home, I always felt satisfied when I saw the sincere smile on my husband's face, combined with the cheerful thank you from both of my boys, after I took care of them as a mother and wife should." I stayed quiet after her response, afraid if she will get sad when bringing up all those memories, which I'm sure brings a lot of pain with it, but she just stared off into space with a contended smile on her face. After we finished with the meal, we chose a bottle of red wine, semi – dry with an aromatic fruity scent as the etiquette presented to us. I opened the bottle and took out a pair of glasses which I had to clean from all the dust that had settled on them over the time.

"So…Ajay, please tell what are your plans for the future…I mean for the nearby future, when do you plan to leave Kyrat, or if you want to stay here for good, or whatever, you know what I mean" Noore asked me as I poured our wine to our glasses. I looked at her as I finished with her glass to see her looking down to her lap, where she twirled her fingers a bit, her palms getting sweaty in the process. 'She must be afraid that I'll leave or won't come back to US after she goes back' I put down her glass on the small table in front of the couch and took both of her hands. She lifted her head, her eyes searching mine, looking afraid like a little lost puppy. "I will tell you everything, but first" I poured our drink to my glass and offered Noore her own, which she took into her gentle fingers "Cheers" "Cheers" She replied and smiled at me as we clinked the crystal making a decent vibrating sound around us. The wine felt pretty good, tasted really nice…I wasn't a massive wine expert, but the bottle looked fancy enough that Pagan himself would have a sip from it probably. "Regarding your question" She gulped the liquid down her throat "When I came here I just wanted to scatter my mother's ashes on Lakshmana, as she asked me to. It was her last wish. But now it all changed. The Golden Path, this civil war, helping to take down Pagan, my father's heritage that is left here, dealing with all this…all these things have really changed my plans…" I paused for a few seconds, not wanting to sadden Noore, but her pose proved my suspicion. She twirled her glass slowly while looking into it, her eyes holding a sad look not wanting to meet mine. I knew I will hopefully make her feel better with my continuation. "And of course then there's you." My hopes proved me right. After hearing this she immediately stopped playing with her glass and faced me, with her eyes big as stars. And I just couldn't ignore how her eyes looked in close up…just beautiful, anything less would be an understatement. "I met you, and I found a great…friend in you…I didn't expect that I would meet someone like you here. I've always wanted to help you from the start and I still do, and I….care about you…you know how I mean it…" "I know Ajay." Her voice went down a bit, but still hold a colourful tone and sweetness in it. Her eyes were so gentle that it caused my heart to twist in my chest. "So naturally, I take you into consideration as well. As I told you if you would want to leave early I can help you with that, and of course in that case I will be more than happy to hang up with you in the states after I come back. But if you wish to stay here longer, I must inform you that I don't plan on staying here forever…hell no, that's not a thing for me…I want to solve this mess here, and then after all is done I will return back, and I guess that as you have already told me…in that case you will be going back with me…so, I hope that your ideas collide with my plans somehow at least a bit." I took another sip of my wine while I looked at Noore, to see her smiling happily, as if she was getting ready to hum some sweet melody for herself. "If my plans collide with yours somehow? You are all I have now here in this place…I depend on you so much that I sometimes feel a bit ashamed to admit it, not because I don't trust you or because I don't want your help, but because I can't even take care of myself on my own. I can't get myself out of this mess. But when I'm thinking about losing my hope for bringing some light into my life, you always come around and you do or say something that proves me that without you, I wouldn't be here now, and that I really need you. And if I may be specific about this particular topic…" I waited for her response, hoping that she wants to stay here for longer. She cleared her throat a bit and took another sip of her drink "I don't want to go back now…or anytime soon…if I may be really honest….I want to go back to the states with you, when you are done here…again I may seem hopeless now, but I wouldn't know what to do without you if I would have returned back now…and I don't want to leave you here alone, I feel obliged to you, you have helped me so much…and not only that, I enjoy just being with you like this and I wouldn't want to lose it…believe it or not I care about you too…" Her words melted my heart. And this was not the first time that she has managed to do something like this. But how could she think that I wouldn't possibly believe her that she cares about me too? "I know that you care about me too." I held her hand, not wanting to let go, so she would feel assured about my words. "As I've already told you, I know that you have feelings, you are not some monster, do not think something like that about yourself. I strongly believe, no I know that you in reality and mostly deep inside, you are not the same person as you had to be when you ruled the arena." "Ajay…" I put my finger to her lips silencing any possible retort that might have come from her. "No buts or anything. I know I'm saying the truth. I'm not trying to fool you or anything, I'm just telling the truth. In reality, you are an amazingly sweet and kind woman, who gains everyone's heart. Your influence on people cannot be neglected. You catch everyone's eye with your charm and beauty as well. That's what everyone who has ever got to truly know you thinks about you. And that's what I think about you too." I exhaled catching my breath as I felt the heat from the fire rise up in my cheeks. "About the part of your plans for leaving Kyrat…I cannot be more happy then with what you have just told me…I will gladly keep you company as well and I promise that when I'm done here with everything, and I mean with everything…I will manage to get us some tickets to go back to US, and then I'm gonna help with whatever you ask me to or want me to when we will return back." The sound of the crackling wood filled the room as the fireplace provided us with a comforting warmth that spread like a liquid around us. The whole idea of lighting up that fireplace proved me right. Noore held her glass and looked down to the contents, her cheeks holding a pink tinge, either from the heat that came from the fireplace or from my words, that held several little compliments. "I am also happy that you share my idea for the near future…I do not feel completely secure in this country after the events that took place, but with you around, it's much better. I'll take your word for it on that offer you just presented me. I cannot wait for all the things to be over here, and for you and me to return back." That's what I wanted to hear from her. Her eyes sparkled even more after we settled on this, the pink tinge not leaving her cheeks. "Did you really mean that beauty and charm part?" She asked me suddenly in a rather fast way. Her question was so sudden that I opened my mouth looking at her like if she really meant it. "Of course. Why wouldn't I mean it?" "Because I…" She put her glass on the table as well and sat down in a Turkish style manner. I couldn't stop myself thinking how cute she looked when her hair cascaded down on her shoulders and her eyes shined on me. "Tell me Ajay, when you look at me, tell me how old would you guess I am? I know I haven't told you yet, it's my fault, but this way you will get to know it as well." "What? I cannot, I don't know…it would be rude from me, I can't really…" "Ajay" She interrupted me abruptly in the same way as I did, putting her delicate finger on my lips. She smiled mischievously at me. "Just tell me, please. Tell me what you honestly think." I took a deep breath and looked at her. She was beautiful in her own way, I couldn't deny it. She was magnificent and gracious. I don't doubt the fact that she had had many suitors before she married her husband. "As I told you, I honestly think that you can catch anyone's eye with your charm and beauty. But if you really want to know it, I would guess that you are about 30 years old…no older that 33 or 34…if I'm being absolutely honest, and remember you wanted this." I reminded her and waited for her reaction. I expected for her to just nod at my response or in the worst case for her to feel offended but what she did really surprised me. Her eyes widened like they were two Moons served on a silver plates and her lips trembled. "You really think that?" She asked me in a gentle way, her voice full of hope. "Yes I really do. What, did I offend you or something?" "No…I…" She smiled in a way like she wanted to express her true feelings and how her heart felt in that moment. "It's just that…I'm extremely surprised and happy that you think that because…because I'm 40…years old." My mind spun crazily. All I could think of was the number she just told me. 40? I couldn't believe that. She…she could put many 25 year old girls to shame with her looks. My brain just couldn't process that. And I wasn't unpleasantly surprised…this sole fact made me respect her so much more, I didn't mind that she was 12 years older than me, that fact didn't change a thing for me. She was so beautiful and yet she was 40 years old. Wow, just…wow. "You really are 40?" I asked her still not believing it completely. She nodded. "I would have never guessed that, believe me. You could put 25 year old girls to shame anytime you would want." I hoped it didn't sound like I was hitting on her or something. The tinge on her cheeks deepened as her lips curled into of the most beautiful smiles that I've ever seen on her. "Thank you Ajay…." I held out her glass for her to take it and she did as I wanted her to and took a sip of her wine. I copied her actions and decided to even the score by telling her my age as well. "And as for me, as you may guess, I'm 28. I hope that I'm not too young as you thought you were too old." She laughed for the first time since we sat here, enlightening the whole cabin with the sound of her sweet laughter. "No Ajay, you are not. You are more intelligent and mature than most men in your age. That goes at least for those who I've met or known, beside my husband." Glancing down at her features I noticed that after my reaction to her reveal of her age she looked it like a huge boulder has fallen down from her heart. "At least you have someone to return to. You have someone home that you can return to, unlike me." I almost choked on my wine, hearing her sentence about having someone to return to. "Where did you come up with something like this?" I asked her, impatiently hoping she will answer me quickly and reveal all her possible fears to me. "I don't know, it just came across my mind…" "Well, I don't know what you mean by saying that unlike me, because I've lost my mother and I don't have anyone else. And I don't mean to say now that I'm mad at you or what but you don't need to worry about returning and having no one waiting for you. Remember you're coming back with me and I'll be with you in any situation you will wish." I could imagine myself, bringing back Noore to her old apartment and not leaving her for the first couple of days. I would do it without blink of an eye if she would have asked me to. "I know and believe me I appreciate it so much, it will make things for me so much easier. I'm sorry about your mom, I know about her, you have mentioned that to me. But you have nobody else waiting for you at home?" I chuckled at her train of thoughts, where was she leading with this? "Like who?" "I don't know…wife?" She voiced her idea with a slightly trembling voice. "Wife?" I roared with laughter. Silly Noore, how can she think that I'm married? "Fiancé?" I shook my head displaying my disagreement. She cocked her head at me biting her lip in the process looking at me incredulously. "Girlfriend….?" She almost stuttered slowly. I laughed again, she could be so clueless sometimes when she wants to. "No and no. I don't have a girlfriend, or even a girl back at home that I would consider…my potential girlfriend." I hoped that this answer satisfied her. In this moment a battle has occurred in my brain and in my heart as well. I didn't know how to assess the last part of our conversation. I didn't know if I should hope that Noore's gonna be happy that I don't have any girlfriend nor do I have any girl that I could possibly like or if I should consider this as I simple confession about me being alone in terms of love life. I know I promised myself that I won't think about her in terms of…girlfriend, but in this moment I felt riven. And none of the facts that I've discovered today has not changed my opinion about her…mainly the fact that she was a bit older than I originally considered her to be…someone would maybe expect that I wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore, or that I wouldn't think so highly of her. Wrong. The exact opposite happened…now I find her more intriguing and honestly...prettier than ever. And honestly I wouldn't ever mind that she is in fact older than me. As I said she could put almost any 25 year old to shame. So I felt this ongoing battle inside me. And the fact that she was smiling gently wasn't helping me at all. I was feeling myself quickly falling for that smile. I couldn't resist it. "I'm sorry if it was too personal…I just" "No it wasn't!" I gestured for her to be fine, that she can ask anything she wants anytime. "You just seemed so surprised, and I didn't expect that, that's all." "I know, I just didn't expect you to don't have anyone…significant in your life…you seemed like you have someone like that…I know that you have never given any signal or word about it but still I couldn't shake a feeling that a guy like you wouldn't have a fiancé or girlfriend at least…" And here it is. Silly Noore. How could she think that? "It's fine, don't hesitate to ask me anything anytime. And as for this particular thing…topic…well I don't have anyone like that in my life…but I…" I paused and saw her as she fixed her look on me, her eyes holding an extremely gentle look. "I wouldn't resist if I will ever have someone like that in my life in the future…" I returned her the gentle look she gave me while I said this. "I'm not a one night stand guy or a guy who prefers short terms relationships…when I truly open up myself to someone in a loving way I really mean it and I want to make that person happy as much as I can." I finished, emptying my 1st glass of wine too deciding to ask Noore if she will have another one with me. Of course she agreed on this and I didn't hesitate a second a poured us a second glass of our decent liquid. We continued to enjoy our wine, the semi – dry taste spreading in our mouths and we both commented on the quality, finding that we were actually very satisfied with the taste and honestly we both needed a drop of alcohol in these times that were sometimes so harsh but sometimes on the other hand in situations like this one they seemed so peaceful, content and…just full of happiness. Noore's relaxed smile and attitude released every tense cell in my body, making my body feel like it was on cloud 9.

"Ajay, let me tell you one thing, that I haven't managed to tell you yet…and I should be really ashamed of myself for not telling you this earlier." I had no suspicion what exactly was her intention in this situation, but before that I raised my glass and clinked it with Noore's "Anything that's in your heart or on your mind is welcome to my ears but first…Cheers…again." I laughed at my unreadiness in terms of presenting a simple toast and Noore didn't seem to mind that as she followed my action in the exact same way. We took a sip of our bloody red drink and Noore's facial expression turned from a cheerful one to a bit more serious one, looking as if she was feeling guilty. I didn't know what was she going to present to me, but I hoped that in the end it won't make her sad, or ruin her relaxed attitude in any possible way. "I haven't…apologized to you yet…" She hung her head down, her dark locks covering her face, hiding her emotions from me. I stood there frozen, not understanding what did she meant by that apology. An electrifying thought flashed through my mind – to brush her hair from her face and to caress her cheek if she would have let me…but I didn't get the chance to do it as she continued. "I didn't apologize to you for throwing you to the arena back then…on the first day we met, when Yoggie and Reggie brought you there…" So that's what her apology was about. Does she think that I'm still mad at her or something? Cause I'm not. I admit I was mad, no furious with her when she displayed her force on me that day and I was left alone in that pit unarmed and naked. She told me she hid my blade for me there, but in that moment it didn't change the fact for me that I was very close to dying there. I was enraged when I met her later…I wanted an explanation for her previous behaviour…but I forgave her later when she explained to me that she needed my help and that she was in fact a prisoner there and she was being played by Pagan and Paul. Her later sincere confession and a very clear expression of her worries for her family convinced me, that she needed my help and that I'll help her as much as I can. So her ashamed position that she displayed now was a surprise for me, I thought she knew that I wasn't mad at her anymore for doing that to me. I forgave her a long time ago. Nevertheless, I put my hand on her shoulder and I leaned over to her, feeling the amazing scent of her hair and talked to her softly. "Noore, it doesn't matter now, that was a long time ago…" She brought her head up, her eyes glistening a little and she stood up abruptly almost knocking down the small wooden table in front of the sofa. "It does matter Ajay!" Her exclaim was clear and convincing enough for me to follow her actions and listen to her. "I know I should have done it earlier, now it just came to my mind and I can't resist the urge to tell you that…you – you…" She pointed with her hand at me, at our opened bottle of wine and the cabin interior in general. "You are, no you have always been so nice to me…you take care of me, as nobody has done in years since I came to this country…you take me to nice places like today, you treat me so well, you simply take care of me and I feel that I haven't thanked you or expressed my deepest need to somehow repay you for all this…" "It's not needed, believe me…" Now it was her turn to grab my arms with her small hands. "Yes it is." She stated firmly. "At least I need to tell you…want to tell you, that I'm deeply sorry that I threw you into the arena and that I almost killed you back there…I know I had hidden your blade there but still…you could have died there and I wouldn't be here now and I wouldn't have gotten to know you…" Her eyes watered as she held back her tears. "I really apologize for that Ajay, believe me. I – I had no intention to – to kill you, but I had to do it, to express my power to the crowd. I should have done this much earlier, forgive me please." She almost whispered the last part, her eyes barely holding the small tears. "Come here…" I motioned her to come to me as I held my arms open for her. She understood my motion and rushed to my embrace, feeling that I wasn't mad at her. "I'm not mad at you, silly. You don't need to ever worry with things like that. I know you had to do it. I also know that you didn't want to kill me. You had some sixth sense that was telling you that I can make some changes in your life. That I can change the cruel destiny that has damaged you here for years. I knew after your confession about the true nature of your reason for doing all that, that you were different. I knew I had to help you and I wanted to make you feel better. You just didn't deserve a life like that. That's why I also…" She lifted her to look at me, cheeks holding a light pink colour. "I protested when the Golden Path wanted you dead." The look on her face combined with the opened mouth told me everything. "I told Sabal and Amita that you did all those things for your family and that you were played by Pagan and that you simply don't deserve to die…as I already told you and as you know they insisted on killing you, but I told them that I will decide that will happen to you. And you know the rest of the story." I finished my confession watching her engulfing the dry air around us trying to find words. "Ajay…you haven't told me that you protested when the Golden Path suggested or ordered my removal…" I caressed her cheek, which reddened more. "I didn't find it so important. Knowing that lying to them would be completely obsolete, I tried to pour some sense into them…didn't work as you could see. When I later headed to face you…you know that I had my mind set on helping you and confronting you. Later when I had to return to them, I lied about your fate of course. They didn't express their need to hear any details…they were just simply satisfied with you gone…I want to help them, help this country, but I don't share some of their…ideals and goals. The senseless idea of killing you was so far the most ridiculous thing from them…I know they would see me as a traitor if they would have discovered that I didn't kill you and that in fact you are well and alive here, but I was willing to take the risk…" I didn't want to embarrass myself but I had to say it. "I feel more connected with you than with them. You understand me way better than anyone. And I care about you…you know that." She nodded pressing herself to me again. "I knew that you were different…and my suspicions proved me right, didn't they?" She giggled, her rosy red lips curling into a smile. "And my hope for you helping me was right too…you have become such an integral part of my life that I don't know what I will do, when I won't see you anymore when we return back." "Don't worry, that will never happen as long as you will want to see me." I caressed her hair as she almost hummed happily. "Ajay…you are like a guardian angel to me." "Then I hope I'm the best one you can get." Her lips turned into another beautiful smile. "Believe me you are."

We stayed in our gentle embrace for a few more minutes, not wanting to let the other go. Then I suggested to continue with our talk to which Noore asked me if we would have salter crackers as a good accompany to our wine. I agreed and we immediately took a few and munched on them. "You won't believe how this place has changed me…" I gulped down the rest of the cracker that I had in my mouth and I felt the dry, salty piece slowly going through my neck. I drank a bit of my wine and fixed my eyes on Noore. "You mean the arena?" She nodded munching on a piece of her own. "Exactly, but not only that. This whole country. Mentally and physically…but your presence does have a somewhat enchanting effect on me." Her dimples showed again on her cheeks. "I feel returning back to my old self. To think how ridiculous…and cruel I must have been all this time. I know this probably won't interest you as a man, but I used to look a bit different before, this place changed me in those terms as well." I immediately imagined Noore in civil life, looking pretty as ever walking down the street with a sunny smile on her face. "Please, tell me." She raised her eyebrows from surprise, not expecting me to be interested in details like this. "Well you can imagine that apart from me not having to rule and kill people at the same time I didn't use to wear Kyrati style clothing…" We both laughed at how ridiculous it would look on an ordinary day to come out as Noore looked when ruling the Shanath. Although she was intriguing and beautiful in her own way when dressed as the vice lord of Kyrat I can imagine that it was not her original style. "All the complicated robes with the sashes, all the hand crafted materials…I had to get used to it…" "Why?" I interrupted her eyeing all the details on her. "Pagan insisted on that…he used to tell that it would impress the people, that I would gain their respect and admiration…that I should be like a mother to every one of them…he would get tailors to make me some first class robes that would impress the Kyrati people along with all the jewellery on me. That's also how I got this." She pointed her index finger to the white piercing on her nose. "They put this on me, so that I would look more like some of the Kyrati goddesses. Before all this, I would have never imagined that I would ever have a thing like this on me…but they insisted on it, so I had to. I had to get used to it." She shook her head, displaying her dislike over the fact that she had to change so much to later learn that it was for nothing. "And this?" I asked her as I inspected her right hand that had all those tattoo designs on it. Gently caressing her fingers and knuckles I looked over all of those complicated designs on her delicate skin not making anything particular about them, finding them as complicating and baffling as ever. I leaned over to her, making the distance between us much shorter. "Ah, that. Well that is called henna tattoo or whatever it is. It isn't permanent, it lasts for a few months, half a year max. Don't try to understand all the designs, I do not know what they mean. I had this renewed every few months by my personal servants at the Shanath. And yes, you guess right, again it's for the symbolic meaning to look like some Kyrati goddess." Kyrati goddess. Well I admit when I first met her she reminded of some powerful fearless female leader who commanded all of her servants and used some strange powers over them. "It doesn't look bad but I still have the feeling that you weren't originally suited for these things…" "Of course. As you can imagine I had never worn tattoos or any other let's call it enhancements on me nor had I ever given a bother to those complicated robes. I was a simple looking American woman. Or that's what I considered myself to be." She reached for another cracker munching down the pieces of it while she was deep in thought for a few moments imagining her old way of life. "I can imagine you like that immediately" I winked at her for which she rewarded me with another one of her bright smiles with my knees weakening again. "But I think that you looked great in your Kyrati robes. But I also think that when I'll have the chance to see you in something fancy and modern you're gonna definitely exceed my expectations, no doubt about that. You will easily catch anyone's eye." She laughed at me after she gulped down her cracker and I noticed the close distance between us, which has already created a small blush on my face. Noore had the same tinge on her cheeks as she was smiling at me, thanking me for my light compliment. I leaned back, and we clinked our glasses again giggling all the way. My thoughts drifted off to Noore's blush. It could have been caused by the comforting heat that emanated from the fireplace or it could be the result of the amount of alcohol that we have consumed. Although it was a small amount it could make warmer and the result would be that cute blush on her face. Or I could be completely wrong with my ideas, and the blush was caused by my actions, namely by my small unintended compliments and the closeness of our bodies for that short period of time. My mind was doing it again. Imagining Noore as something more than a close friend. I concentrated on pushing those thoughts back to the depths of my brain, but they still seemed to seep to my imagination. When I connected those images with the images I have from the dream I had experienced, my whole mind was spiralling crazily. "Ajay?" Noore's sweet voice woke me up from my personal struggle against my brain, to be certain my imagination. "Yeah?" I tried not to sound like I just woke up. "Are you okay? You seemed to be very deep in though…is everything okay?" She asked me in a concerned voice that made my heart swell. "Everything's fine, don't worry. I was just thinking about some stuff, not important and not negative in any way, don't worry." She nodded and squeezed my hand with her tattooed one sending me all the warmth she had. "So back to the original topic we had…this place has changed me in many ways…you can imagine what I had to do for Pagan in order to keep my family alive…I had done things that scare me and also disgust me to this very day." I listened to her, deciding within myself if I should let her continue or ask her about some of the specifics hoping it would make her feel better if she let that out of her. "I can imagine…but tell me…" I grabbed both of her hands and she intertwined her fingers with mine. We smiled at each other and mainly at our actions. "If you have something on your mind…or rather said something that plagues your soul, something which you would want to forget and put it out from yourself then I'm here now for you. Tell me anything, just anything however ugly or disgusting it may be." "Ajay, you don't need to…" I shortened the distance between our faces and looked deep into her dark brown pools. If someone from outside who doesn't know us would see us like this now, he or she would have definitely thought that we…love each other, and we are about to kiss or cuddle in a loving way. "I want to hear everything that bothers your soul! I'm here for you." She smiled for a second before her smile disappeared. "There are few things that I can think of…but the worst of all for me probably is…" She stopped and gulped heavily. I noticed she started to shake nervously biting her lips, her fingers slightly crushing my own as she pressed her nails to my skin supressing something obviously horrible in her. "No I can't, you wouldn't want to speak with me again…" I caught her face gently in my hands, stopping her from getting around her burden. She fixed her trembling eyes on mine. "Please I want to hear it. If you think it will make you feel better then tell me. I'm here. Nothing will ever change my opinion about you. I have gotten to know your true form. There is no such thing on this world that would stop me from seeing you and talking to you." She nodded slightly, breathing deeply composing her thoughts. "Okay…I've already told you that I've done many horrible things…but none of them has ever disgusted me or affected as much as this…believe me, nothing was personally worse for me than this…" She exhaled deeply again, gulping down the remaining wine in her glass. "This…thing, happened during the early months of my stay here. I was still adapting to the environment and the tasks if you want to call it like that, that I was given here, telling myself that whatever I do, I do it for my family, and that there is no order from Pagan or Yuma that would stop me from helping them. So, one day I was called up by Pagan to his palace as he wanted to discuss something with me…it turned out that a dealer from somewhere from the Pacific has come to Kyrat to discuss some business with Pagan, as you can imagine, he wanted to buy the drugs that we produced here and deal them somewhere else. Pagan wanted me to supervise the whole deal and have the discussions with the buyer himself and do anything to successfully complete this deal, and he meant literally anything. He told me that this would be a test for me if I was capable of running the drug business myself. He also mentioned that in case this deal fails, my family will be executed and I will be forced to watch it. So of course I accepted, I had no other choice." I felt that this story was going in a very bad direction. "Before I left to meet the guy, Yuma told me that the deal will be organized in some distant hotel…or whatever it was, that was in north Kyrat, somewhere where nobody would ever come. She also told me that she would accompany me and that I should really please the gentleman with everything I got…in that moment I had a bad suspicion about it. When I arrived at the place I was introduced to man that was in his late 40's, early 50's. I remember his name was Hoyt Volker. The guy looked terrible, smelled like a combination of piss and alcohol, but he ran a huge drug and human trafficking business. He also had an army of privateers which guarded the meeting and the place itself was full of them so I had no chance of escaping. The meeting started normally, Yuma was overseeing my desperate tries to be even with that disgusting man who required more and more as we continued. Midway through the whole process when I seemed to fell under his conditions that he required from us to obligate to him he wanted to leave and to postpone the meeting without me of course. When I saw this I panicked I knew that this was my chance to keep my hope of seeing my husband and sons alive. Yuma told me that the delay of this deal would cause Pagan to be enraged which would then result in my family's cruel fate. In that moment I shouted to that man that I would do anything to help us conclude the deal. His sick smile has written in my mind. I remember he told us out loud that he can be persuaded but it would have to be with me…that he wants me to spend some private time with him…he particularly said that such a raw beautiful meat like me should not be left untasted." She stuttered heavily through the last few sentences. Her whole body started shaking like if she was some fragile doll in a blowing storm as she supressed her sobs. "You don't mean you had to…" She nodded, her voice making a whining sound, like a small puppy cry. My mind was going crazy in that moment, I had to breathe to calm myself down because otherwise I would explode. "Yes…I had to sleep with him. I had to have sex with him, as many times as he wanted…" By now she started sobbing openly. "What?!" I was so angry at that bastard. I wanted to kill him personally right now. To stab him with my blade and let him bleed out slowly so the blood would be used as a bait for tigers and other predators that would eat him alive. Fucking cunt…to hurt Noore in such way. To use her like that. Like she was some paid whore or some napkin that your throw to the bin after you use it. I've never felt so enraged in my whole life. Noore was a sweet being that deserved everything on this world, and someone treated her like this? That's worse than keeping her in a lie about her family still being alive. "I want to kill him right now…don't stop me Noore, I will find that asshole and slice his throat…I will!" I yelled madly. "Ajay! Stop!" Noore's tearful voice stopped me from my enrage state of mind. "You don't need to ever bother with him. He resides somewhere in the pacific, I don't know where. He is not worth it. Besides I wouldn't want you to get hurt because of that." Her tears only pushed me to wanting to kill this man more and more. "I don't want to lose you too." She stated with tears rolling down her face. I quickly pulled her to me and hugged her fiercely not wanting to ever let her go. She responded in the same way, her hot tears soaking my shirt. We kept ourselves in this position for a few minutes, with Noore crying her heart out, bend down on her knees as she embraced me on the couch. I caressed her back and her hair gently, breathing deeply and trying to forget about the idea of personally killing that man for this to Noore. I would protect her with everything I got. "It was disgusting…I felt sick, I felt used…I had to undergo this a few times…the first time…" She sobbed hardly and squeezed me harder. "The first time…the first time he half raped me…I couldn't just do it when I was there with him, but he didn't want to lose his chance so…" I couldn't bear to hear it anymore. But I knew she needed to get this out. I soothed her and lightly kissed her hair on the right side of her head. "The other few times…I didn't resist…I let him do it…I couldn't resist anymore, I didn't have the will to do it…it completely destroyed me" Poor Noore. Nothing is gonna happen to her anymore, I'll make sure of that. She has become so important to me that I wouldn't bear to see her in such pain again. "I cried for hours. Or was it days? I don't know…I remember that when I returned back I locked myself in my room in Shanath and didn't leave it for some time…I threw up a few times and I had a light fever but I got out of it somehow…I felt destroyed, I didn't want to live anymore. But then Paul visited me and informed me that Pagan is satisfied with the results of the business and that my family will soon be free. That got me out from it back then. The thought of seeing my family again." My heart was beating with hers in that moment. I almost couldn't hold the tears myself as Noore told me all this. "I didn't know that you had to experience things…like this…I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me such horrible reminiscences." Noore pulled away, her tears slowly fading away. She took a deep breath and pulled her hair from her forehead. "Thank you for listening to me Ajay…I know it must have been unpleasant to hear all that but I wanted to let it out." I smiled at her, seeing that she trusted as much as I trusted her. "I'm here for you anytime you need me. Such things won't ever happen to you again. And do you know why?" I smirked at her slightly. "Why?" "Because I'm here with you now. And I won't ever leave you if you'll need me, okay? I will protect you." She smiled through her puffy red eyes and tear strained cheeks. "Ajay…" She threw herself at me and buried her face in my shoulder holding me firmly on my back with both of her hands. She could be so unpredictable sometimes. But I didn't mind. I never minded a bit when she hugged me and displayed her level of trust to me. "Lie down and relax OK? You deserve it." I motioned her to stretch her legs on the couch and to lay her head back on my shoulder. She nodded and did as I motioned her to do. "Don't ever think about such things ok? Now that you told me, you can forget it…it never happened OK?" "Okay…" I felt her smile as her tears and sobbing has stopped a few moments ago. "But don't get in any problems because of me Ajay…can you promise me that?" She turned her face to me with a hoping look in her eyes. I sighed deeply. She could get any kind of promise from me with that look. "Definitely. But remember that I will protect you from anything that will try to harm you in any possible way. You are not getting rid of me, write it down." Her soft melodic laugh filled my inside with warmth that nothing else could ever provide. "I'll hold on to you." The gentle sound of her calm breathing with the last logs in the fireplace burning low created a calming atmosphere that I found myself slowly closing my eyes. "Just close your eyes and imagine that you are somewhere where you want to be in an ideal world…imagine yourself doing something that would make you extremely happy…just close your eyes and do this.." I whispered to her as I slowly caressed her smooth beautiful long hair. "…I'll try…" She whispered as well, her voice almost fading with the sleepiness that could be heard in it. We stayed in this position for some time, I didn't know how late it was, but I guessed that it was pretty late. Continuing to slowly caress Noore's hair I noticed that her breathing got more rhythmic and steady and that she was quiet for some time. My suspicion proved me right when I looked at her calm face, with her eyes closed. She has fallen asleep. I couldn't believe that I had such an effect on her, that she found me so comforting that she didn't resist the sleepiness to overcome her. But she couldn't stay like this. I picked her up, with my left arm supporting her legs under her knees and with my right one holding her on her back, keeping her head on my shoulder. She was so light and tiny in my arms that I felt I was carrying a small feather instead of a fully grown woman. I carried her over to the bed and gently laid her down her head softly hitting the pillow. She shivered slightly so I covered her with one of the blankets that she used when she slept. "Ajay…?" Her quiet whisper made me turn around and come to her side again. "Don't worry, everything's fine. You fell asleep…just sleep okay?" I caressed her forehead brushing off her hair. "Okay…" She responded and made a sound like a bear cub snuggling to her mother. I smiled at how cute she looked. Her chest was rising slowly and rhythmically, her features looked so calm. With her eyelids closed, her mouth slightly open she reminded me of some sleeping princess. I couldn't stop myself from looking at her and admiring her. She was just beautiful…I had to admit that to myself again. I felt the urge to plant a light goodnight kiss to her cheek, but I resisted it. In this particular situation, I didn't want to leave her, also I was too tired to drive back to my homestad so I knew the best solution would be to stay here. With a small brush of her hair I turned off the light, prepared myself for bed as well and crashed down on the couch. Covering myself with a blanket all I could hear was Noore's static breathing. The fact that she was sleeping in same room as I was just going to, was filling my whole inside with happiness. She had the best possible effect on me as I enjoyed her presence every day more and more. With these thoughts on my mind I slowly drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:** **Searching For Answers**

Heart or mind? That was the biggest question that has been occupying my mind this whole morning as I drove to the Chal Jama Monastery. My inside has been on fire. I needed answers, I needed someone to talk to. And in this case it couldn't be Noore. Because it directly involved her. Not only involved her, the "issue" revolved around her. After yesterday's events I couldn't hold it inside me anymore. My heart and brain held a furious battle inside me and the thing they battled for was…Noore. Just the way she fell asleep on me yesterday…my heart was screaming for her, begging for her presence but my mind was telling me otherwise. I couldn't risk our friendship. The bond that has been created between us was too precious for me to start to think about her in some other way. But on the other hand I couldn't deny what I was starting to feel towards her…todays' morning only proved this to be a rightful suspicion.

When I woke up I noticed that it was pretty early in the morning. The fire has died during the night and the air in the cabin got a bit chillier but not too much as the wooden walls proved to be an excellent warm keepers. The next thing I noticed when I looked at Noore's bed was that it was still occupied by my sweet companion. She was still in a deep slumber and it look like nothing could ever disturb her. I stretched my body as I stood up, poured myself some water and went to see Noore. When I sat on the edge of her bed she didn't seem to budge a bit. With her eyelids tightly closed she breathed deeply as she laid on her back with her arms spread apart. The blanket that I covered her with has slipped down a bit from her but she didn't seem to mind it too much as she continued to sleep comfortably. As I watched her quietly I couldn't deny the feeling that I had in my heart. I was afraid that I was starting to feel something towards her. Something more…something of which I was afraid of…love. I studied her face for a while. Her slightly pale skin compared with her black hair reminded of a fairy tale snow – white, with the few tiny freckles that covered her cheeks and her nose in a cute way. Probably caused by the Kyrati Sun with this whole place being on such a high altitude the Sun must have driven those freckles from her skin due its level of paleness. Although her eyes were closed now I could immediately imagine them how they could always shine when she was excited. Combined with those long dark eyelashes, they were the first thing that has always caught my attention when I met with her. Her lips were like a magnet to me. When she smiled yesterday I felt my knees weakening. With the way she now slept, they reminded me of some dark red cherry heart. And the tiny birthmark beside her upper lip didn't change the whole picture at all. I caressed her hair a bit enjoying its smooth touch under my fingers and drank my water quietly thinking of what lied ahead of me today. I knew that I had some planned events today, I agreed to help the villagers in Tirtha to cut down the population of tigers, so they wouldn't attack them and pose such a threat anymore and to also help them hunt down some Sambar as those poor souls couldn't manage to hunt at least one of them in the last weeks. Well, at least my syringes will come in handy. "Ajay…" Noore's whispering broke me from what I was doing. I quickly turned my head to look at her to find her still sleeping. 'What is happening?' I thought as I waited for her to wake up. "Ajay, let me help you…" She was dreaming. And she was dreaming about me. Me. I wondered what exactly was happening in her dream. I hope it was something positive. But the fact that she was now talking from her sleep, literally calling my name was driving my heart and mind crazy. She smiled widely and pulled the blanket up to her chin. I thought that I lost it right there at that moment. It could take one small caress, one single line to her ear and she would wake up and I would see those eyes looking at me. But I didn't have the heart to do it. She looked so calm and peaceful and in that moment I knew that was going to see Sabal at the Chal Jama Monastery. I needed someone's advice greatly. I needed to decide if I should continue to let myself fall freely to these new feelings for Noore that started to emerge inside me, or if I should resist it and continue to view her only as my dear close friend. Pulling up the blanket to cover her properly I decided to write her a small message that she would find on her nightstand, so she wouldn't be confused where I have gone. I picked up a piece of paper from the library noticing the small book with the red cover. Her diary. Definitely her diary. I had to bit my lip hardly to supress the urge to peek inside, but I knew that it was part of Noore's privacy. I could only wonder if she wrote something about me in there. And if she did, if it was something positive, which I hope it was. I sat down at the table and scribbled down:

 _Dear Noore,_

 _You may be a bit surprised, as you are reading this now, wondering where I have disappeared. Don't worry I'm perfectly fine, I just needed to leave a bit early as I have some errands to do today. I didn't want to wake you up as you were sleeping peacefully, I didn't have the heart to do it. Believe me when I say you slept like a log, you fell asleep on my shoulder so fast that I didn't even had the chance to notice you being passed out. Anyway, I hope you aren't upset with my sudden dispatch and that you didn't have anything important on your mind for me to hear it. And if you did, I will try to make it back as fast as I can. Hopefully it won't take me a week as the last time. Don't worry, it won't. So I hope you have a nice day and that when we'll see each other in not so long we'll have a time that will be equally as good as yesterday was for me and hopefully for you too. Despite the mix of good and bad things we talked about and shared between us, I felt ecstatic just to be with you. And I heard you mumbling my name from sleep in the morning. But don't worry I won't tell anyone._ _Take care._

 _Yours forever_

 _Ajay_

With that completed, I put the paper with the scribbling of my message on it, on Noore's nightstand, lightly caressed her cheek and shortly after that left the cabin to venture to the early Kyrati morning.

I wasted no time when I drove impatiently to my destination. My plan was to seek Sabal and to ask him for advice in this situation. I know it'll feel a bit weird to talk to him about…relationships and stuff like that, but he was the only capable person of providing me with such willing nature to listen to me. He was my only male acquaintance around here that I could talk to about this. I didn't have no other choice. The only other male acquaintances I had here were Hurk and Longinus and I guess I could count Willis too…simply said the three of them just weren't the right personas to confess your deep thoughts to. And don't remind me of Yogie and Reggie, those two crazy bastards were and surely still are just a burden. So Sabal was naturally my only choice. He seemed to accept me pretty well and I found him friendlier compared to Amita who had her qualities, but combined with a rather bad attitude and temperament. Hopefully Sabal is gonna hear me out and say some wise words to me that I will be able to post process and assess my quickly growing feelings for Noore. Noore…just her name brings something sweet in my mouth. But I'll have to be careful in order for Sabal to not know about Noore being alive and what's worse in his opinion, me thinking about her in terms of more than just a friend. Her safety is currently my first priority.

When I arrived at the monastery, where I knew Sabal would be, I had noticed that the place looked pretty normal, except there was one person that I immediately recognized. Bhadra. She seemed to have been waiting for someone outside. As I walk to the stone stairs leading to the main front door of the place Bhadra noticed my presence and waved at me. "Ajay!" I climbed up all the way, noticing the amount of repairs that have been conducted since Pagan's troops attacked this place a few weeks ago. I was here personally, defending the place, stopping those soldiers from laying down the C4's and the other explosives which were meant to send the whole place down, especially destroy all the religious stone statues that were carved to the mountains. Some of them were damaged badly as I couldn't just simply repel all of the attacking forces, as there were several waves of them. I almost didn't manage to defend this place, but in the end the people from this place seemed very satisfied and relieved when the flow of Pagan's soldiers stopped and they were able to enjoy their religious stuff with which this place was soaked heavily. "Hey Bhadra" I waved at her. Seeing the small frown on her face I decided to ask her what was the cause of it. "Bhadra…how are you? You don't seem to be in tact…is something taking place here now?" She crossed her arms on her chest and sighed. "Yeah…I don't even get it sometimes what's it for…" Her accent was more than noticeable. It was heavier than it was on Amita and Sabal, but I still viewed her as if she was my little niece. The amount of pressure that has been put on her was more than high enough for any teenager. "Does it include the Tarun Matara stuff?" I asked her slowly, thinking about the fact that many people here believed that she was the reincarnation of some old Kyrati goddess. A teenage girl who seemed to be ordinary, I just didn't get it at all. "Exactly…they are preparing me to take the role of Kyrati religious leader…they are educating me in many things…well, at least they are trying to. I hope I won't fail their expectations." She seemed so stressed. If it was on me, I would give her some space and time, despite the fact that she was seen almost as a new goddess. She had to and to this day still has to witness many cruel things…events that would change every young being…she has to be very mature for her age. "Who prepares you for all of that?" She motioned her to the heavy wooden doors that led to the interior of the monastery. "All of the important monks and officials that lecture the religion here in Kyrat…they are always talking about the Tarun Matara and that I'm the new leader of our people here…and on the other hand Amita always tells me to forget that and to concentrate on myself, to learn how to survive and how to be strong…I'm not sure sometimes, who should I follow, who should I listen to…Amita or Sabal…" Poor kid, being under pressure like this. I will try to talk to Sabal about her, to release the strong grip they have on her. She shouldn't be used as means for disputes between Sabal and Amita. "Just listen to what your heart and mind says…I know it's hard sometimes…" 'What am I talking about, I for myself can't decide between my heart and mind at this right moment and I'm giving lectures about it to a teenage girl, nice one Ajay' "But you should find some compliance…some kind of harmony between them and listen to them. Who do you think is better for you, and what do you think is the best for you, that's what you should follow. It matters what do you think and feel Bhadra." She smiled at me, obviously liking my advice to her. "I would say, listen to Amita it terms of being confident and being able to survive and take care of yourself on your own but also don't forget about your heritage and try to give this people something they can cling to. Don't place yourself in stressful situations, but try to combine this and you will satisfy both of them, okay?" I patted her shoulder, the look on her face changing to a confident one. "Thank you Ajay. I will try that…and what have you been up to? Does Sabal or Amita put you under some dangerous missions? I heard you killed Noore!" Oh god…I gulped heavily, quickly coming up with a feasible lie. "Ummm…well yeah, you heard right. Noore is dead. Sabal and Amita were satisfied. And about the amount of danger…well, let's say that sometimes it's more dangerous to be with them in one room when they are arguing than when you are in the Himalayas, trying to be stealthy and a snow leopard notices you and you know your cover is blown and you gonna have elite soldiers on your back in seconds." She laughed at my response, the stress falling off of her. "Well, those two can be a bit tricky together…" She paused thinking about something. "I pity Noore…" I turned my head to look at her quickly, my heart beat accelerating madly. "What do you mean?" I tried to sound casual but I felt like my voice was on a rollercoaster…like if I was some teenage guy with a mutating voice in my neck. "Well I heard from someone that Paul had her family killed and she believed for years that they were still alive…I also heard from some of the people that were in the arena and witnessed the matches that she was very pretty as well…men seemed to admire her and many of our women secretly envied her for her looks, despite the fact she was publicly hated…" 'Yes, she is extremely beautiful…' "Did you say something?" Bhadra's question came so sudden that I didn't have a chance to realize that I had spoken my mind out loud. But she was right about Noore. "No nothing…I was just mumbling to myself, agreeing with you. Yeah, I agree with you on that completely…it was so sad to see, I learned about her situation…" I had to remind myself to speak about Noore in past tense so Bhadra wouldn't have questions why am I talking about her like if she was still alive. "But how can you know for sure that all those stories you heard about her from the people that have seen her are true?" Getting deeper into this topic wasn't a favourite thing to do for me, as it still proved dangerous that I would make a fatal error and speak out loud some of the details that I have managed to learn about Noore and the fact that…I have grown to like her. And it burns my inside when I think about the possibility of me liking her more than a friend. Bhadra shrugged her shoulders and continued in her heavy accent. "Well I don't know that for sure as I've never seen her in person…but I've always caught some bits and pieces from men talking around here and believe me, how they talked about her and described her…sometimes it wasn't meant for a teenager. You know, someone would say that I was not supposed to listen to things like that. How they expressed…their opinions and…wishes, let's say. I'm sure you can imagine." She gave a knowing look as well as trying to stay innocent as ever. "Yeah…I can." My voice was calm but my mind was going crazy. I can totally imagine what they were talking about…definitely…it disgusts me…I would beat the crap out of them if I would hear it now. They wouldn't leave this place until they would call off all of their dirty talking about Noore…Damn and now I'm being jealous. But I would protect her from any harm. Either physical or mental or from this kind of harm. They wouldn't ever dare to say a word like that about her. "There goes my escort…I guess you came to see Sabal right?" I nodded "He's inside as usual. Thanks for your time Ajay, bye…" She turned around unsure of what to expect from the group of tutors and supposedly a monk that came for her. "Bye, you can handle it" I replied to her and didn't look back as I was eager enough to speak to Sabal.

"Is Sabal inside?" I asked the Kyrati men that were standing just outside the main door talking about the new Tarun Matara. Luckily they weren't talking about Noore in a way Bhadra described, because I wouldn't have been able to hold myself. The anger would get the better of me…the strong protective sense that I felt when I heard Noore's name could not be denied. The smile that appeared on her lips this morning when she was whispering my name from her sleep…I would have to erase that imagine just for this meeting with Sabal, otherwise I would do something really stupid that would put Noore in danger. "He should be right inside" replied one of the men motioning with his head. "Thanks" I wasted no more time and marched inside. "Sabal?" He seemed to be in a conversation with a golden path soldier, discussing some plans. "Ajay!" We both shook our hands, Sabal expressing his pleasant surprise seeing me here. "We've just been talking about you. How you have managed to turn the ties into our favour. Slowly we are pushing Pagan's forces back to the North. I feel like we will move our forces to north very soon. And all thanks to your efforts Ajay, brother." The golden path soldier smiled at us and nodded. "And we'll never forget how you have defended this wonderful place…without you we would lost it here. Pagan would have destroyed it here, we would have lost our inspiration the people would lost their will, their spirit to fight in these harsh times. You have managed to capture that snake De Pleur giving him right to us so he could pay for his crimes. And also Noore." I gulped heavily hearing her name, sensing a feeling in my stomach that could be compared to butterflies messing around there. Noore… "You have freed our people from living in fear of participating in the arena…you destroyed the drug business she ran. Our country will no longer be plagued by that cancer. It was a good thing you killed her." If only he would have known the truth… "Soon we will break to the north and Yuma will be next…no longer will she imprison our people in the Durgesh. And then Pagan. Ajay, with you we will be victorious." Sabal's summarization of all the events that happened in the last weeks made me feel important and successful, that the job that I've done so far for the Golden Path has been useful, but on the other hand I felt nervous about hiding such a big secret as the simple fact that Noore is alive and I'm hiding her and protecting her in my father's secret cabin. And the most pretermitted thing of all was that she was one of the biggest enemies of the Golden Path and now while I'm hiding her from them she is gradually becoming extremely important for me. More than I'm willing to admit now. "And what brings you here today Ajay? Not that I'm not glad to see you, and especially here in this magnificent place that is so important for us, but I don't remember planning on meeting you today. Or am I wrong and my memory don't serve me well anymore?" He laughed at his own joke with me following his actions lightly. "Actually, your memory serves you right…we didn't have a planned meeting or anything, I came here for…advice, if you can call it like that…" I didn't know how this is gonna come down, if Sabal will be helpful in my situation, but at least I can hope that I will vent my thoughts feelings and worries as well. "Really? Then you are welcome Ajay. Come with me." He motioned for me to follow him down deeper to the monastery. I followed him as we passed many monks and ordinary Kyrati people praying to all the statues of goddesses around us. The air was filled with the strong puncturing scent from all the candles and sticks that were around us. Many of the people saluted me on the way, some of them even bowed to me. I replied to them in a same manner nervously, not feeling that I fit to this place. I immediately felt where I belong more. Noore's smiling face came to my mind. Her gentle fingers offering me a glass of wine and telling me that she's very happy to see me. "You see Ajay, these people here know you they respect you and need you. Your successes have reached their ears. The freed areas and fortresses, De Pleur's fall, Noore's death and the end of Shanath that came with it….you have improved their lives so much in such a small fraction of time, that's why they respect you so much." "Yeah, I guess I can understand why, they seem to be very grateful…" I continued walking behind Sabal, preparing myself for the upcoming talk. We arrived at a medium sized room that looked like some office but had some kind of a personal touch to it. "Please, take a seat." He pointed to a comforting looking armchair beside the table. Sabal himself took the one that was opposite the one that I had just taken. He pulled out a bottle of unidentified drink, which I presumed was some kind of liquor as well as two small glasses. "Have a drink with me Ajay, you deserve it." I was a bit unsure at first, still a bit sleepy from last night's events and I haven't eaten much, but I thought why not. Also I didn't want to offend Sabal in any way. "I'd love to. Thank you." He offered me a glass and he took the other as well. "On the freedom of this country that we're gonna soon achieve, thanks to you!" Our glasses clinked and I swallowed the drink in one shot. It didn't taste bad as I had slightly expected it to be, but I can't say that it was very pleasant as well. The burning feeling of alcohol prevailed in my neck. I coughed a bit, the power of the drink surprising me, especially the strong herbal taste in it. Never in my life have I had a drink that tasted like this. Sabal smashed the glass on the table in a "Russian pub manner" as seemingly the drink had the same effect on him, although visibly in a smaller scale. But I was sure that it wouldn't have the effect on me as Yoggie's and Reggie's drugs. "So what bothers your mind Ajay?" I breathed heavily, feeling the effects of the drink slowly evaporating, the bitter taste of alcohol not leaving my mouth. "You see…I decided to come to you, as I have a quite delicate problem." I looked at him, still thinking if this was a good idea. "Please continue brother." I sat comfortably in my armchair and put my hands on my knees. "I came to you because you are a man and…I guess…I hope that you will understand me and give me some advice…the problem or the issue I have is…how would I put this…it involves relationships.." Sabal smiled and patted me on my shoulder. "So a girl bothers your mind Ajay. Why haven't you said it already? Of course I will try to give you my advice as much as I can. What's the problem? Do you like some girl and you can't find the courage to speak to her or is it something different? Tell me." Sabal seemed to accept my topic rather well. I hope this won't be too embarrassing. "There is one girl…or woman that would be better in this situation, that I find intriguing…I can't stop thinking about her and it just occupies my mind so much…" "Tell me more about it Ajay." I took a deep breath and replayed all the events in my head. "I met her under some rather crazy circumstances, I mean the situation in this country cannot be described better" I chuckled a bit and Sabal followed my action motioning with his head for me to continue. "At first I would have never guessed that she would…interest me in such way, but it turned out different. I helped her so she would get out from the difficult situation she was in and she seems to appreciate it. We started talking and getting to know each other as a part of my helping hand that I had provided her. Immediately we found out that we can talk together about almost anything at any time…believe me I've never met someone in my life so far that I would immediately "click on" with so well. She understood me on a whole new level that I would have never imagined it's possible…and I did the same. I understand her so well, I've learned so much about her that it just makes me respect her more and more and like her so much more. I've never felt this way before in my entire life." Sabal listened to me carefully, accepting every one of my words. "I can see that you appreciate her presence in your life very much. What's the problem then? Are you unsure what do you feel about her? Has she expressed herself to you that she views you in the same way?" Don't make this harder for me Sabal… "She has…she has told me that she appreciates my role in her life immensely. She told me she loves talking to me, she loves my presence and that she can't think of repaying me for all that I've done to help her…and about the other part of your question…that's the main thing why I'm so confused now, or riven. Riven is the best word for it. I don't know what I really feel for her…or what should I feel for her. This is the thing that drives me crazy! It's a battle inside me. A battle between my heart and my mind. My mind is telling me to forget about her in terms of…her being something more than a good friend. She has been through a lot and I'm not sure if she's ready for someone to…love her in such way. And if she is, I highly doubt that she would ever think of me in such way. On the other hand my heart is telling me to never leave her, to help her, to repair her damaged soul…to be with her when she needs it." Sabal smiled at me and put his gloved hands on the table. "I can see the problem now. I understand you. I myself have been in love with a girl…years ago. I knew she was in love with me too, but I was too afraid to…confess to her. She died when De Pleur raided her village and she tried to escape the soldiers." He waved his hand through the air to express he doesn't want to further our conversation about her. "The battle inside you Ajay, comes from the fact that you are afraid…you are afraid what might happen if you allow yourself to fall for your increasing feelings for her. It's obvious that you care for her and that she cares for you too from what you have told me. She definitely needs you in her life Ajay. Tell me, what comes in your mind when you think about her? If you imagine her now what comes to your mind? Or imagine that you're with her, what would you feel?" I concentrated my mind on Sabal's question. Focusing on Noore I tried to imagine her face. Her eyes immediately came to my mind, her smile, her lips, the tiny freckles on her face. Her hair, her lovely scent…I smiled widely with my eyes closed. "I feel happy, no ecstatic. I cannot even describe what I feel when I think about her. Her beautiful face comes to my mind, her scent that spreads around her…the way her eyes shine, I can totally imagine that right now. And although she is a bit older than me she is extremely beautiful in her own way, she could put many any girl to shame easily. I can hardly recall ever meeting or knowing woman that would match her looks. I always sense the tingling feeling in my stomach that I've already had yesterday when I was with her. It feels like butterflies are flying and buzzing in my stomach. I feel my heart tighten when I imagine her not seeing her again sometime in the future…the possibility of that scares me immensely. I'm being really open to you now and I say that you can't even imagine how amazing it feels to just think about her." The words came out of my mouth freely, like they were a steady stream of a river. Just the thought of Noore brought a huge smile on my face. My heart was beating madly when I imagined being myself with her again…just to hold her again like yesterday. It felt so real in that moment when I closed my eyes. My own daydreaming was broken by the sound of Sabal's roaring laughter. I quickly opened my eyes and looked at him why he was laughing so much. He almost had tears in his eyes. I've never seen him like that. He turned to me still laughing madly. "Wha…" "Ajay…" He didn't manage to stop his roll of laughter completely as he had to catch his breath. He pressed his fist to his chest a few times, breathing deeply. "Ajay, Ajay….my brother, you…you are telling me that you don't know what to do? That you don't know what you feel for that woman?" I gave him a quizzical look. "Yes that's why I came here for your advice…" I didn't understand what he meant by that. "Ajay you are in love with this woman." He paused for a second seeing the look on my face. "Or at least you are falling in love with her. I am sure of that." He added. My mind started swirling…I couldn't catch my breath. Me already in love with Noore? I knew I thought about it, but I have never considered it being a real option till now. "I…I'm not, I just…really like spending time with her and I respect her and I just like her, but…I cannot be…" I whispered to him. "Ajay from what you have told me you clearly feel something very strong for her. You described her in the most amazing loving way possible…like if she was your most precious thing. You have fallen hard for her. Don't be afraid and don't be a coward. I know it be might sound scary but think about what I've told you. And from what you have told me…you clearly care about each other…you understand each other. You also told me that she has been damaged…or that she was hurt in some way. Don't run away from your feelings…" "No, I would never leave her!" I interjected. "See? That's what I've been talking about. You care about her very much. You have obviously grown to care for each other. Give her some time, some space. I'm sure she will feel the same way as you are starting to feel. From what you have told me it's bound to happen. Just stand by her side and support her and be yourself. It will only strengthen your relationship. Your mutual bond will only grow stronger. I understand the battle that is now taking place inside you. But my advice is, follow your heart. Follow what it tells you. I know now it tells you to never leave this woman and your mind knows you understand her more than anyone, but I also understand that your mind is also afraid of rejection and from bringing something new in your life. Listen to your heart. Stay with her, and observe how she is feeling and behaving around you. Give it some time. Let it flow freely, okay? I'm sure that my words will come true, and that you will be really happy in the end. Both of you. Because from your description…you must get on really well…you have some connection, isn't that right?" I chuckled lightly for the first time, realizing that Sabal is completely right. I brought up my head to look at him, feeling more confident now. "You are right. I think we do experience something like this. Thanks for your advice, I will definitely remember it. I'll keep it mind and…I'll try and do the best I can from now on." We both shook our hands again and stood up. "I'm glad that I could provide some help to you Ajay. Good luck. I know that it will turn out great in the end for you. I can feel it." We both grinned with me trying to cover up my boiling emotions and I prepared myself to leave. "You definitely have other things to do today, so I won't be stopping you now, am I right?" I guessed he meant…Noore, but that wasn't particularly true today as I had those planned errands in Tirtha. "Yes I do have some things to do…I'm heading to Tirtha actually, so…you can imagine." This is going to be another long day. Sabal chuckled lightly. "Of course, I can. Good luck Ajay. And don't ever hesitate to seek me again if you're in need of advice." I opened the door and stepped outside of the room, leaving Sabal inside. "I won't, thanks again!" "You're welcome!" I waved my hand at him saluting him as he copied my actions. I swiftly left the monastery with the following events of this day on my mind, while the majority of it was still occupied by thoughts on my dark haired soulmate. What did I just call her? Never mind me, as Sabal said I'm probably falling in love with her, so that's normal. But whatever the situation might be, she really has become like a soulmate to me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:** **Got You Into My Life**

After leaving Chal Jama monastery my mind was filled even more with a wide variety of thoughts, questions and maybe I should say hopes as well…hearing Sabal's opinion and ultimately his advice as well was something that I honestly did not expect. Not in my wildest dreams. I didn't consider myself as a clueless guy but Sabal's certainty really surprised me. How he calmly stated that in his opinion I was in love with…Noore. That what I felt for her was not just an ordinary "friendship" type of bond. And my need to make her safe and happy had its roots somewhere deep inside me and it was not caused by my feeling of friendship to her. It made my mind go crazy. I was slowly trying to process all of this as I walked down the stairs from the monastery. Luckily Bhadra wasn't anywhere around here anymore. Hearing her questioning how the visit with Sabal went would only drive me crazier. I wouldn't have been able to hold my secret and pretend that I'm still the same guy as I was when I arrived here. Her teenage curiosity would definitely got the better of me. But on the other hand, Sabal's willingness to listen to me proved to be a great asset in this situation. I needed someone to talk to…to confess my inner struggle. To really try to explain what I've been feeling the last few days. And how it only got a lot stronger after yesterday…and the day itself was wonderful in my opinion. Although he isn't a type of guy who would I consider being my long term friend, or close friend or whatever you wanna call it, he was the only one around here who could prove useful. Surely Amita would have made my inner battle only worse with her slightly feministic approach to things. Noore on the other hand was exact opposite of Amita, she didn't possess any of her characteristics which I found bad. And although she was the leader type of woman she could definitely show her gentle caring side to people she really knew and really cared for. I can imagine she must have been a wonderful and caring mother to her two sons. And to add that the list of people who she cares for now definitely includes me. The sole fact makes me so happy, that I feel like I'm in the 7th heaven. 'She must be awake by now…and probably reading my note why smiling to herself…' I thought as a wide smile spread across my face. 'But back to what Sabal said'. I didn't take his words lightly. I think from his point of view…he was right. Not with the fact that I…love Noore, but if I was in his place, I would have probably told the same to anyone of my friends who would have come to me with such a delicate problem. His judgement made things easier and clearer on one hand, but on the other…he complicated things and made me fear them even more…a bit. The possibility of loving someone again was a huge thing for me…I promised myself I would never seriously fall in love again after….after what happened with Liza. It scared me. Inside I felt that Noore would never do the same to me as Liza did…but still the cautiousness prevailed. And not only that. If I would let myself fall freely to this new feeling I would still have to envisage that things may not go the way I would eventually want them to. Letting myself submit to this new feeling would cause me to hope and dream in a total new extent and all those hopes and dreams would shatter with leaving me deeply wounded and depressed if only Noore would say the one very simple word…No. Or the one simple sentence. 'No I don't feel the same way Ajay'. I would be doomed. Not only would I lose a great friend, but I would also embarrass myself greatly. I wouldn't be able to recover from that. Because I feel that if I let myself fall to it, it would control me and change me completely. It would be extremely strong. Maybe way stronger than it was with Liza. And what if Noore isn't ready for something like this. I know that she looks happier now and that she understood that it wouldn't make sense to take your own life and that there are still things in life to live for, despite the fact your family, your closest ones are dead. Maybe she doesn't want to commit herself to a new relationship, she doesn't want to get hurt. She fears the same things as me. That might be the truth. She surely loved her husband very much and she's afraid she wouldn't be able to love completely again, that her heart wouldn't bear it again. All of these possibilities might be true. We haven't touched the topic of…love and relationships yet, although we have talked about various things so far. But on the other hand, what if it all came true…what if…what if I let myself fall to this whole new feeling and deepen our bond and then later discover that…she feels the same way and we would be…I can't even say it, let alone imagine it. It would have been surely amazing, I wouldn't believe it for weeks, I'm sure of that. I would have been the happiest and luckiest man at the same time. All in all it would be something new and amazing as well…the only question that still prevailed in me was if I should really follow my heart as Sabal told me to. I put my head on the steering wheel, imagines from yesterday's afternoon flashed before my eyes. Noore's happy smile, her relaxed carefree attitude. Her giggles when we reached that tarn, the feel of her small delicate warm hand in mine as we walked through that slippery tunnel. The clink of our glasses as we sipped our wine and spent the time we had in the simplest but for me in these times the most beautiful way. 'I'll let my heart decide…in the end I can't win the battle against it with my brain'. I decided that I would let things have a steady flow as Sabal said and I would let my heart decide. I won't fight against it with my mind…that would be pointless. And if my heart will tell me that I should follow this new feeling…I will. I'm sure that the more time I spend with Noore, the more I'm gonna know what will be the best solution for me. If the future holds out something with…Noore for me, I'm gonna head towards it with no fear in my heart. One thing I'm definitely sure about is that nothing is gonna stop me from spending time with her.

'Hopefully, I'm gonna get there in one piece.' I thought to myself as I slowly pulled myself out of my truck, just down the forest hill that hid my father's cabin from outside world and ultimately Noore too. After closing the heavy door on the truck I was immediately reminded of the state I was currently in. I had a deep wound on my left arm, to be particular an arrow from of the royal army archers has penetrated my skin and broken in two so I was left with the lower part still piercing in my arm, making the pain unbearable in some moments such as this when I had to use it. Other parts of my body didn't manage to weather so well too. I felt like I was dead beaten. My energy reserves were running really low I didn't even know if I would manage to climb up the hill to see Noore and seek her help as well and the steepness of the hill didn't help it at all. I knew she was going to ask what happened to me and she would be a bit angry at me for displaying myself to such dangerous tasks again but I also knew that I wouldn't mind it, because the reason for her behaviour would be the simplest fact of all…that she cares for me. And that thought let alone gave me the last bits of strength to reach the stone paved road that led to my safe heaven. I needed her presence, her attention. I was craving for it in that moment. My legs were betraying me as I was exhaling quickly finding my vision getting more blurry and feeling the effects of the injuries on myself. "Noore..." I tried to shout as loud as I could so she would hear me and come out to help me, because I felt that I wouldn't last very long in this condition anymore. Seconds after I shouted her name for help, the door opened and out came the person that honestly has become the dearest person on earth to me. She smiled for a second but when she concentrated her eyes on me the look on her face changed from happy to worried and almost terrified. "Ajay!" She immediately ran towards me when she saw me barely standing on my legs properly. "Noore…" I used the last bits of my strength to smile at her seeing her face so close to mine, her lovely scent filling my nose. "What happened…?" She asked me frantically and pulled my right arm over her shoulder and supported me with all the strength she had. And honestly I needed it…I wasn't able to walk straight anymore. I tried to transfer my weight to the left part of my body so she wouldn't be overwhelmed by my heaviness. "I don't know…I fought the army and then I got injured…and I tried to find you…and…" My vision was getting blurry and words didn't come out of my mouth in a sensible order. Like if I was drunk or something. I felt that I'm probably going to pass out. I knew for certain that I need to somehow restore my strength and energy. "Oh Ajay…what have you done to yourself…" Noore's voice sounded like she almost cried at that moment. I couldn't even turn my head to look at her and thank her for being so quick and responsive with me. With her help I managed to get myself inside where Noore directed me to her double bed and commanded me to sit down. "Hold still, I need to take off your jacket…" I almost didn't hear her voice. It sounded like it was from another dimension. The dizziness was wining this fight. I felt Noore getting down my jacket and telling me to lie down on the bed while she fixed some towels…or whatever it was under my injured left arm. Her voice, everything she was telling me…I didn't discern any of it. I remember she sounded even more like she wanted to cry combined with her tone being stressed and distorted like when I visited her in the arena and she begged me to kill Paul and save her family and didn't respond to my little try to comfort her and calm her down. And now she was getting worried over me like this. "Thank you, for everything…Noore…" That was the last bit that I was able to say before everything went black for me.

" _Ajay…Ajay!" I felt someone nudging my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Noore beautiful face smiling at me, her eyes shining brightly with happiness. Slow – wittedly I looked around to find myself in a plane, a rather big one with dozens of people sitting firmly in the white leather seats around us. "We are going to land in a few minutes, you need to fasten your seat belt" Noore told me sweetly, doing this action on her own. I copied her actions, still feeling a bit confused as to where we were heading exactly. "I'm so happy that we are heading home…and that you're with me…" She smiled at me with a loving look in her eyes and put her head on my shoulder. My heart started beating madly and it only got faster when she reached out my hand with hers and intertwined her fingers with mine. The co-pilot announced that we're gonna be landing shortly on the Los Angeles international airport and he hopes that we had a pleasant journey. So that's where we are heading…we are going home. But why is Noore so…affectionate to me. I know that we care for each other and…no…is it possible that we…I cannot even say it in my mind. This cannot be true. I dared to test it in this moment. Slowly and gently I kissed the top of her head to which she didn't respond by turning to me with saying what has gone through my mind but rather leaned her head even more to my shoulder and I felt she smiled when I did it. 'Well that still doesn't proves it…I will have to wait what she's going to do when we land'. In a few minutes we landed safely on the airport and applauded the personal of the plane as it was common to do on most flights. We left the plane and went into the airport hall to wait for our bags. As we reached the ground, stepping down from the white metal stairs that were parked to the plane, Noore almost immediately grabbed my hand firmly but also gently and exhaled deeply. "It's good to be back home, isn't it?" She turned her look at me with and undeniable sparkle in her eyes. "Yes…I guess it is…" I slowly responded to her, still not believing the circumstances we were currently in. "Come on Ajay, we got lots of things to do." She commanded us both and pulled me into the direction of the hall where we would receive our baggage. She is definitely the leading type in most situations when she is in her shape. The only situations where she didn't grab the hold of the events was when she was damaged from all the things that happened in Kyrat and when she also waited for my help and my companionship during the first weeks in Kyrat. After we collected our baggage (which to my opinion there was more than I had expected) I followed Noore quietly to the main hall of the airport, avoiding all the masses of people that were there. "So I guess we should call a cab and go to your place as you suggested earlier." She said this rather carefully, obviously still not 100% sure about my intentions. I knew that I would suggest her this exact solution and promise her to take care of her so I didn't have any doubts about this. "Yeah, sure. Let's go." I replied to her smiling at her. "I can't wait." What she did next really surprised me. She reached on her tiptoes and kissed my left cheek. 'So then I guess it's true…' I thought as I pressed my fingers on the place on my cheek where her lips gave me that one short, but sweet kiss. "Noore!" I called out to her as she managed to create a small lead when she pushed one of our suitcases behind her, not looking behind her after she kissed my cheek. "Yes?" She turned around and smiled at me. I decided to test it, if the reality was like I thought it was. "I love you." I stated simply to her, looking deeply into her eyes. The look in her eyes acquired a level of gentleness and lovingness which I've never seen on her. "I love you too…you don't know how much." The words rolled off from her tongue easily. "Wait…I know you do. Because you always tell me, that you love me the same as I do. Come on." Her face brightened so much that I thought it outshined everything around us. She motioned with her head to follow her and sped up. 'So it is true…' I felt the same dizziness overcome me as when I came earlier today to my father's cabin to seek Noore…wait, today?..._

My eyelids slowly opened and I almost winced from thepain that I felt in my left arm. It was just a dream. Again a dream with Noore. This one much more clear and certain…and more beautiful. We came back to US…and apparently we were together. 'Oh god…what has Sabal done to me…' Was it still even today? It was almost dark outside…I remember I came here an hour or two after noon. What did do for all those hours? Did I sleep all that time? I was covered by a thick blanket and I was still in my father's cabin in Noore's bed…Noore! I tried to pull myself up and sat on the bed, but that proved to be a very unwise decision from me as I used my arms for this job. I winced heavily, supressing the scream of pain in my chest, clenching my teeth together so I wouldn't look like some weakling who couldn't handle his own injuries. Injuries that were caused by his own carelessness. "Ajay!" I heard Noore's sharp and scarred tone of voice. I looked to my left to found her quickly leaving the table she was seated at, cutting the distance to her bed and looking at me with worry in her eyes. "You are awake…" She exclaimed with a small smile. "Don't move…at least do not use your left arm for support!" Her commands were firm and loud, but I could easily hear the caring tone in her voice while she was looking at me with an expression that held a mix of worry and relief, combined with a light smile that played on her lips. "What happened?" I asked her when she pulled up the pillow to the bedpost signalling me to press my back comfortably to it. "You don't remember?" Her eyes held such a gentle look that I almost felt guilty for making her worry over me. "I do remember that I came here and sought your help…I shouted your name and then I think you came out and helped me get…" I replied to her trying to recollect my thoughts. She nodded slowly and sat on the bed. "Exactly" Exhaling a deep breath she held my hand in her small delicate one tracing her thumb on my knuckles. Just this simple gesture made my heart swell more in her presence in that moment. "I helped you get here and lie down on the bed. I put down your jacket and then you passed out…" She glanced down with her look avoiding my eyes. "I was scared that something really bad happened to you…but then I heard you breathing and I calmed down…I knew you just needed rest, you were so beaten." She whispered almost all of her confession concerning my health. I reached out and pulled up her face by her chin to look at me. Her eyes told me that she must have been really worried. I hope she didn't cry a bit for me. That wouldn't be fair. Just not. "I patched your wound on your left arm. At least I tried to." I stretched my left arm in front of me to look at Noore's hand work. My wound from the arrow was not visible anymore as it was covered by multiple layers of bandages. "Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me." I squeezed her hand not holding off a bit of my inner emotions. "Do not mention it. I would do it anytime for you…you know that. But what happened Ajay? Where have you managed to hurt yourself like this? Don't tell me that you tried to achieve some impossible foolish goal for the Golden Path?" By the tone of her voice I could hear that she didn't like the Golden Path for what they have exposed me to. "Yes I did. They broke to the North. Sabal wanted me to assault the bridge which is controlled by Yuma's troops…or at least was. It proved to be more difficult that I had expected. Royal elite guards came to the place and you could see the results…" "You should have been more careful Ajay!" She half shouted at me. "It was not that bad…" I tried to calm her down a bit. "Not that bad!" She raised her voice sharply. "Not that bad! You had an arrow in your arm! You were bleeding! It could got an infection if you didn't treat that wound properly! And do you think that Pagan would offer you some exquisite doctor to treat your fever caused by the infection? Hell no, not that there are any normal doctors here according to my knowledge. You hurt yourself seriously!" I listened to her carefully all the way. "I was really scared. You got me worried. Don't do this to me." She leaned her face to mine and she expressed her worries almost just centimetres away from the tip of my nose. We stayed in this position for a few seconds just staring at each other while I dropped my look to her magnetizing lips for a second. When she realized the position in which our faces were she leaned back and blushed…and I'm sure I did too. But she didn't let go of my hand. I realized that for the first time and especially after Sabal's words to me a felt a small urge inside me to just gently…kiss her. When her lips were so close to mine I couldn't supress it inside me. "Anyway…" Still that blush on her face "I treated your wound. I disinfected it and wrapped it in a bandage, from the medical supplies that were here. I hope that it's gonna get better. Just promise me, that you're gonna be more careful next time you attack Pagan's troops, OK?" I nodded and squeezed her hand again to reassure her. "You got my promise that I'll try to. I don't want to make you worried because of me again. And just to update you on the situation…Ratu Ghadi and Yuma will be next." A disgusted frown crossed Noore's face when I mentioned Yuma's name. "Yuma…I hate that disgusting bitch, she always tried to make my life a bigger hell than it already was. Don't hesitate to kill her Ajay…but…" She caressed my cheek with the palm of her hand. "Be careful. Always." I nodded at her not wanting to further push the already worried look in her eyes. "I wouldn't bear more pain if I lost you too…" "Same goes for me if it was in reverse…" My reply seemed to have lighten a spark in her eyes. "I was worried a bit yesterday too…" Her sudden confession surprised me. Why yesterday? I know I didn't come to see her, but I had things…to do. Even the day before when I left abruptly in the morning to see Sabal. She must have hoped on both of those days that I would come to see her after we had such a great time. "Why?" I asked her, knowing the answer feeling a bit guilty already. "I thought that something happened to you or…I don't know…I know I'm being silly now…" I put my index finger under her chin. "Noore" She looked at me understanding my gesture for her to be honest with me. "I was really worried that you got hurt or something…I expected, no I thought that you would come to see me as you mentioned it in that little note you left me…and I'm sorry if I sound pushy, it's just that I don't have anyone else here and you are so good to me and you understand me…and…I…don't listen to me Ajay, I sound silly now I know, sorry." I knew it. Damn it. I should have come to see her earlier. Thanks to my cowardness, she was obviously worried if something hadn't happened to me. And all that really happened was that I was too afraid to face her. Too afraid to face the eventuality that my arising feelings for her would appear to be much stronger in her presence. That Sabal's words would only prove me right. And that I would be afraid of the truth. I decided that I would let myself be guided by my heart but I was too big of a coward to come see Noore. The one person that I have learned to care for the most. When I headed to destroy that bridge to the northern part of Kyrat I knew that I was going to see Noore afterwards, coward and afraid of what my heart might really tell me or not, but I didn't know the events there will turn out that badly for me with me being injured. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I felt amazing with you. I couldn't find the time to see you just because of some stupid amendments that I have. (I know I'm lying but I can't tell her the truth. That would be embarrassing). I'm really sorry. But I'm going to repay you for that anytime you want, OK?" She laughed for the first time lightly, showing her pearly white teeth. "This what I love about you Ajay. You always manage to make me smile and laugh with your straightforwardness. You know that I'll hold onto your word." She winked at me. "I know don't worry. So then…did you find my little note?" I asked her playfully. "Yes." The corners of her mouth were trembling holding back her laughter. "And? Did you remember what you were dreaming back then and that it involved me obviously?" She burst out laughing not being able to hold it anymore. "Yes I did, but I'm not going to tell you." "Oh come on, why?" I teased her again wanting to know the contents of her dream on one hand but respecting her privacy on the other. "I just won't…it's embarrassing…a bit. But it wasn't anything…weird or unusual or…you know what I mean." She blushed again. "OK, fine, I won't push it." I blushed because I knew what she probably meant by saying that it wasn't something "different". "Can I stretch my body a bit, I feel like I don't want to spend the rest of the day in this bed, although it's comfortable here and the pillow smells great thanks to your hair." I couldn't resist to compliment her, so it would make her feel better. And I was right when she giggled after my slight compliment. "Ajay…" We looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds. For me it was like finding the lost strength that I lacked. "Let me help you." She came to me, supported my left side with all her strength and helped me get up. The faint scent of her hair in my nose was all that I needed as my motivation to get up. I walked slowly to the couch and sat down there while Noore looked at me playfully, beautiful as always. She could never cease to gain my attention and admiration. "I will make you a cup of green tea OK? It always pulls me back on my legs when I feel tired or just physically not very good." She winked at me and turned on her heel to head to the kitchen area. In that moment I knew my heart won. I didn't have any power to battle it anymore. She was one of a kind. How could her life have been so cruel to her and done all those things to her? That was the only question for me still unanswered and probably it will remain that way until she will uncover everything for me. She definitely loved her husband and her sons very much. She cared for them immensely, without a doubt. And now for the first time in years she could show her caring side fully again. It was one of the best sights for me to see. After a few minutes she came back with a steaming cup in her hands. I stood up before she reached me, facing her closely. When she looked at me with a questioning look in her eyes I took the cup from her hands and put in on the small table that was in front of the couch. I decided to risk it here and show her how much I appreciate her help and her overall role in my life that she has managed to build up so far. I put both of my hands on her shoulders and gently kissed her on her forehead putting every possible positive emotion that I had in that moment into it. She blushed heavily her face turning into a colour that almost reminded me of the colour of her lipstick. I knew I blushed heavily too because I felt my face radiated a lot of heat. But I didn't regret it a bit. "Thank you. Thank you for your willingness and care. Especially for that arrow wound on my arm. I appreciate it so much. And your presence too. You don't know how much." I decided to use her…line…from my dream. Her lips parted slightly her body still processing my light kiss on her forehead. "It's nothing Ajay really…" She tried to stutter to me while smiling lightly. "No it means a great deal to me, really. The way you treated my wound. Weren't you originally a doctor? I've never doubted the fact that you were highly educated but after today…were you actually a doctor?" I asked being almost certain that she will answer my suspicions. She laughed at my question and shook her head, displaying her answer. "A doctor? No, definitely not. I was a lawyer." Now it was my turn to open my mouth at her. "Well not the typical one as you may imagine now but" She waved her hand in the air to show me that it's a bit complicated that not. "Anyway I will explain it to you later…but I'm glad that you appreciate it….I mean my help." She turned her gaze away from mine, hiding her blush. "You do not know how much." I used that line again a pulled her to my chest to embrace her tightly. We both squeezed each other and then sat down on the couch. I sipped my tea slowly and complimented on the taste. It tasted really nice. "I had something on my mind for tomorrow. If you are up for something." Noore started slowly, twirling a strand of her jet black hair. "I'm listening." "I thought that for tomorrow afternoon we could have a picnic or something like that…I would prepare something delicious for both of us and…you know we would do anything that will cross our minds…" She said it almost sheepishly. But in my mind I knew that I would never turn down such an offer from her. "Great idea. I'm really looking forward to it." I agreed to her offer while imagining tomorrow's events in my mind, listing all the possibilities in my mind. "Amazing. I knew you would agree." She paused for a few seconds before she turned herself to me again with that significant sparkle in her eyes. "And if you were planning to go 'home' today, forget it. Just get it out of your mind. You are staying here. With those injuries I'm not letting you go." She stated almost as if trying to sound brave. "Don't worry I'm not going anywhere today. I wouldn't try to disobey you." I responded smiling at her. Hell where else would I go. I wouldn't leave her side after how she helped me today. Today's evening with her is gonna be just as great as that last one when we enjoyed that together was. When talking about wine, we still have some, don't we? And now…more and more, when I now look at Noore, one small, simple but powerful word is crossing my mind. Extremely strong powerful emotion that sends shivers down my spine when I look at her. Love.


	11. Chapter 11 (Part 1)

**Chapter 11:** **This Is The Time (Part 1)**

The idea of staying overnight with Noore, this time a planned idea, proved to be an amazing one. I didn't regret a single minute of my extended stay with her. I was even thinking now about staying with her like this more and more. Extending and evolving our time that we spend together. Nothing makes me feel so good anymore. If I was a singer or at least a composer of some kind, I'm pretty sure that I would write a song or a simple melody describing my feelings of uttermost joy and happiness that I experience when I spend more and more time with Noore.

When I left her in the morning, after quickly grabbing something to eat, regretting that I can't have a proper breakfast with her a crazy thought crossed my mind. I want to spend every evening like that with her. I know she needs her privacy, but the raw instinct that I've been feeling every time I was with her could not be denied. Every part of my common sense and my sense for tact and some level of decency always vanished when she smiled at me and her eyes sparkled. The way we would enjoy each other's company was only more clear and visible to everyone who would see us now. And it was more obvious to us both. At least I knew…what I was feeling…what I'm feeling right now in this moment. I could only guess and…maybe hope what Noore was feeling or if she was feeling the same thing as I do now.

When I think back to those events of the last evening…a huge sincere smile always appears on my face. We sat on the couch again and gone through various things together. We would find ourselves rambling about nonsense in one minute to only talk about maybe more serious things in the other. The mutual connection we have built up between ourselves held us together in such a great time that I don't remember I ever had in my entire life. Not with Liza, not with anyone else. I can't seem to understand why did I fell in love with her so quickly back then…why did I think that she was the one for me, when none of those times I spent with her could compare to all the evenings and afternoons I've spent with Noore so far. It was never the same type of, I guess I would call it chemistry between us. Not at all. The way we would almost reach each other's minds instantly, the way we would laugh together and the most important thing for me…the way we would understand each other so well.

Maybe life has its events planned for me, and my journey to Kyrat, which was my mom's last wish, didn't have its only purpose of providing her the final place of rest. Maybe the other thing that was as important as my original task was to find Noore, to help her, save her and to later befriend her and find out in the end how significant for me she has become. Her family has already been…dead for years…it pains me to say it, but it's true. Maybe my life really had this planned for me…that I would meet her here and…she would become so important to me and in the end…I would at least found an amazing friend in her…the other choice, which was now controlling my mind and heart…well, that is something that I will need to resolve in the near future. That would be something entirely different. But if I might be honest…just the mere thought of it drives me crazy. And in the best possible way. Anyway, back to yesterday's evening…my decision to stay there for the night and this time planned, not like the other time when Noore fell asleep on my shoulder and I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her that night, proved to be the best choice possible. Just the simplest thing like deciding that we should go to sleep proved to be a great deal of fun…

 _After feeling that we had enough of our time together and that the reserves of our energy were burning low Noore suggested to go to sleep. I agreed with her, as I myself felt the injuries and the pressure of the whole day having its delayed effect on me now, even though I slept for like 4 hours in the afternoon. At least that's what Noore told me. She commanded me in her playful and teasing yet conclusive way to get outside so she could change into her sleeping attire. I for myself didn't have anything with me so I had to just bear with my t – shirt and some sweat pants that Noore provided me with after I climbed out of the bed and which in their length missed my ankles by a pretty big margin. But I didn't mind._

 _After she opened the door from inside to signal me to come in I did so and I caught myself staring for a few seconds. She changed into a pair of light blue shorts that ended mid – thigh and a simple white fitting t – shirt, but that was not what caught my eyes. It was the perfect creamy skin on her legs. I didn't have the chance to see her like this and in that particular moment she didn't seem to mind a bit that her clothes didn't completely cover her whole body, but I was really impressed. She had that beautifully toned colour on them and not an inch of fat…she wasn't some emaciated woman who watched her weight too much but she looked very catchy in those parts of her body…I had to remind myself that she is in fact older than me. She was just…extremely cute and yet so…beautiful. I had to supress the thought in my head how would she look if we were somewhere by the sea…on the beach and she would be in…no, I cannot imagine that, definitely not._

 _We smiled at each other, said our "goodnights", turned off the lights and climbed under our blankets respectably, me on the couch and Noore on her fluffy comfortable bed. Not that I envied her that she had more comfort than me in that moment. I would immediately stop her if she would have started to offer me her own place instead of mine due to my injury, which was healing nicely already. I tossed and turned on the couch for a few minutes hearing her doing pretty much the same._

" _You can't sleep like I do, right?" Her question came from the pitch black darkness. I fixed my look on her bed and on Noore herself so my eyes would get used to the intensity of the circulated darkness in the cabin._

" _Yeah…don't know why…although it doesn't surprise me as I slept through the whole afternoon." I could hear her sigh as she smiled and turned to look at me, her left hand and arm supporting her head._

" _You fell asleep like a baby…I was scared that you didn't breathe, but then I saw you just passed out from the exhaustion…I let you get enough rest as your body required." Sweet Noore…taking care of me like this. Her features were becoming more visible to me as my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. I could recognize her face, her lips curled up in a small smile, her eyes and her hair although on light they reminded me of the exact darkness we had here now around ourselves._

" _I needed that very much…but you did a great job on that wound, that's why I thought you were a doctor…I considered you being a one as I discovered that you had such a gentle soul and that you cared so much for people who are or were important in your life…I know that it maybe doesn't make sense at all, but that was my personal feeling…my suspicion…"_

 _Her light chuckle could be heard clearly after I finished my little speech of her presumed job. "Ajay, you think so highly of me that I sometimes cannot believe where I did deserve such treatment from…"_

' _You showed me your real pain, your real feeling and thoughts and you trusted me and helped me as well. And maybe the most important of all, you opened your whole inside to me, I could see how you really were inside, who you really were.' I thought. "But I was not a doctor, although some people might think so…my job was different…in fact my job and my passion for my work was the reason why I ended up here and in this situation…I don't mean here with you, but in the position of being the vice lord of Kyrat and a puppet in Pagan's hands."_

" _You mean you did something that brought you here or…." I trailed off with my sentence leaving it for her to complete it. She sighed heavily, her hair flowing around her face. "Yes, you can call it like that. I know I told you that I was a lawyer but that is not the only important thing…I was working in the field of human rights and…anyway I think that you definitely want to hear more about it…how about I would explain it to you all tomorrow…I mean, on our picnic trip…"_

 _I could feel my heart starting to beat a bit faster imagining tomorrow and the wonderful time that we're gonna have together. "Most definitely, I wanna hear everything…and I mean everything possible that is about it…" I replied to her seeing the corners of her lips turning to a smile._

 _She laid on her back her head hitting the pillow gently. I had the urge inside me to just jump out and quickly kiss her cheek and say good night. 'No, that would be definitely unwise…' I thought, holding the blanket tightly in my hands. "You know Ajay, this late night talking…trying to fall asleep and then having this conversation through this pitch black darkness…it reminds me of my childhood. How I used to do this with my brother. We would do the exact thing as we do now…our parents would set us some precise bedtime and even after that we would talk like this from our beds, or even one of us would brought some comic book for the other to his bed and we would read it with a flashlight together…"_

 _I immediately imagined 10year old Noore smuggling her dad's flashlight so that she would be able to read comics with her brother after bedtime. The thought brought a huge smile to my face. "Were you two really close together?" I asked her, already knowing that tomorrow she's gonna tell me probably a lot more. "When we were kids…yeah, we were, he was two and half years older than me. We stuck together most of the time, he taught me many crazy things. Then of course when we grew up, especially when we were teenagers we didn't spend as much time together as we used to of course…but we still kept a pretty nice relationship…I don't even know how he's doing now, I haven't seen him for years. He got married and had two kids, they must be so grown up now…was it for you like that too?" Came her question in a sweet but a bit sleepy tone. "What do you mean?" "I mean growing up like I did with my brother…"_

 _I laughed a bit. "I didn't have a brother or sister…I was an only child…" I heard her sit up and I could see her look. "I'm sorry Ajay, I didn't know…" "Don't need to be…you did nothing wrong. You didn't have a chance to know. It's fine…and yeah I was an only child…but I guess that you're rather sleepy now as I am, so I suggest that we can talk about this tomorrow, how about it? At least we a motivation to fall asleep faster, knowing what awaits us tomorrow." I winked at her, hoping that she saw that._

 _She giggled in her cutest way possible. "You're right, I am sleepy now and I think we can go to sleep now…tomorrow we will come back to it don't worry, don't forget about it. And if I manage to, remind, OK?" I nodded. "Of course. Good night…" I waved at her and smiled. She did the same "Good night Ajay…I'm glad that you are here…" I felt my heart tighten. "I am too…very much. Night." "Night." Hopefully morning is gonna come fast._

"Today is surely gonna be even better." I told myself as I prepared myself for our planned little…date. No, it wasn't a date, definitely not. We don't consider it being a date in any means. Maybe a date between two friends. Yeah, that would be more proper description to it. I've already made some preparations…preparations that concerned something small and nice for Noore. Hopefully it's not gonna look like I'm openly hitting on her and it's gonna look like only just as a simple small present from a male friend to his amazing female friend. Or maybe I'm just too scared to admit it that I want this to be a small present that I would give my loved one. On our date. Maybe that is the truth and I don't want to admit it to myself.

But nonetheless the excitement was growing inside me. I know we spent considerable amounts of time together, but this seemed more like a…I don't want to use that word but I have to…date. And now knowing what I'm starting to feel to Noore…it's gonna be much harder. I've already decided or set today as the day where I would finally clear all the confusion in my heart and really prove myself if I'm gonna follow the love that is slowly growing inside me. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling…I know that I gave myself a promise that I would follow my heart and I know what is possibly growing inside me. Slowly flourishing, ready to burst out. I just need to clarify it. And then I'm gonna be able to fully face it.

We agreed to put something nicer on, so I had to look for my formal white shirt that I thought would be appropriate in this situation. Do I want to impress Noore? I guess I'm trying…a bit at least. I changed into a pair of jeans that were nicer and more fitting and most of all, didn't witness any bloody battles with Pagan's army. I buttoned up my shirt, inspecting myself in the mirror at my parent's homestead. My face was perfectly shaven I couldn't look like if I came out a forest, my hair was carded, I hoped that I won't disappoint Noore's expectations. Or if I'm gonna look like an over – motivated douche who wants so hard to impress her…I wanted to impress her, but not in that way. I wondered what she's gonna be like…she's gonna be beautiful, I'm sure of that. I'm not gonna drop my eyes off her for a second I know that. What we're gonna have for our small lunch together…what we're gonna chat about, all these thoughts swirled in my head. I knew it's gonna be amazing just spending time with her. And now this level of…niceness. The excitement was making it unbearable for me to wait any longer. I looked at my watch and surely, time was up, I had to go. I couldn't wait for everything and anything possible that's gonna happen today.

Quickly looking one last time into the rear view mirror of my truck I fixed my white shirt defraying it back to my jeans, silently cursing under my breath for its impracticality. I took the tiny little present that I've brought for Noore to make her smile a bit more and hoping that she won't take it as a sign that I'm trying to only do it to…get ourselves involved…intimately. Doing something like that has never crossed my mind. The idea of us being…intimate together was too ecstatic for me and I promised myself to not jump into conclusions yet. It was too soon. And also if I would hear anyone saying something in terms like Bhadra has described, they would be in trouble with me. I wouldn't let them offend Noore publically in such way.

Concentrating my mind on the present I could I only hope that she's gonna take it as a small present from me to just make her more happy, to show her how much I appreciate her and care for her. Making my way up the hill through the forest I reminded myself to look cool as possible and to not make myself look like an embarrassing fool. I know I've come like this to her many times already, many times we've been discussing various things, deepening our bond together. And although our talks and our closeness grew stronger and stronger with each occasion we were together, so far I haven't been as nervous as I was in that moment. My hands were sweating, heart beating frantically and my throat was getting dryer by each moment. I couldn't find my voice, I feared that I won't be even able to say "hi" to her when I'll reach her place. The excitement was killing me, my stomach was making flip flops inside me, while aching to see Noore already. And as my distance to her grow shorter and shorter so did the weird feeling in my stomach grew stronger.

As I expected she wasn't outside like when I came to see her after my week long absence. I remember I craved for her presence even then. 'Have I started to feel something for her so long ago? Or was I just imagining things?' It was slowly growing inside of me like flower ready to rise from its bud…unbelievable how I could've been so blind to it.

Taking a deep breath I started to slowly cut the distance to the door, holding my little present for her behind my back in my right hand, being careful not to get pricked on my fingers. I knocked on the door, being polite as usual waiting for her response not wanting to interrupt her in something…private. Even the smallest thought of it brought a wave of heat to my face, making it impossible to erase the image of her smooth perfect legs from my mind.

"Come in Ajay, don't hesitate." Her sweet voice woken up something inside of me that has started to tick and run in that moment, spreading the warmth in me making me feel like I would melt in any minute.

I pushed the door to enter, careful not to break my small present in my right hand. "I'll be finished with everything in just a minute or two OK?" Noore's voice came from the kitchen part while I stood at the entry still refusing to move like my legs have cemented themselves to the ground. My heart was pounding madly in my chest, almost tearing it apart.

"Okay…" I replied with my voice dry and lacking the usual strong tone in it. I haven't managed to capture a single sight of her as the kitchen part of the cabin was slightly divided from the rest of the place. Smelling something delicious and a bit spicy in the air hitting my nostrils I started to think about all the possibilities of what Noore possible prepared for us both. Maybe she did something more Kyrati traditional this time. I have no doubts about complimenting her later on her cooking skills. And when we will return back to US…I will take her somewhere nice. To some fine restaurant to show her how much I lo…my mind has started going crazy imagining it. Would she accept it? I guess she would…but what if she will accept my future invite from me only as a friend…and in the meantime she will get to know somebody who will charm her in the other way…not only as a friend. Few weeks ago I would have told you that I would be completely fine with it that it's gonna be definitely good and prosperous for her if it's gonna happen in the future. But now the mere thought of it burns my inside like acid, making any possible thinking about it unbearable.

The sound of incoming footsteps brought me back to reality. "Ajay…" I looked up to see the…the most beautiful creature that I've ever seen.

"Noore…" I replied to her staring deeply into her dark eyes as she did the same. We stood there for a minute inspecting one another, our eyes not leaving the other for a second. She…she was…gorgeous, beautiful, I – I couldn't describe it. Not a single description from me would be enough to name out every single beautiful detail on her.

She had on a white blouse with tight collar around her neck on top with various needlework and designs, black skirt in an A – line shape that just reached her knees with black tights underneath. Her mesmerizing outfit was completed by a pair of simple black flats that had white coloured tips on the front. I felt my knees weakening…I couldn't stand still, it was too much for me. And when I looked at her beautiful face I felt that I'm done. She had on a reasonable amount of make – up, making her skin paler than usual but nothing too exaggerated, her hair fell down on her shoulders, but she somehow made it look straightened and a bit shinier. Her eyes had the usual dark glowing eyeshadows, although not as visible as when she was overseeing the arena (not that I minded it a bit back then) making them only more catchy. And the feature on her face that could not be overlooked were her lips…they were begging for my attention with bright red lipstick, the colour of it even more magnetizing to my eyes than the one she usually had. All in all she was enchanting…gorgeous… she was the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen, I couldn't deny it. I was melting right then and right there.

I knew she eyed me too and she seemed to be impressed by my more elegant choice of clothes as well, although it was nothing in comparison how gorgeous and amazing she looked. Without thinking straight I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind in that moment…"You look beautiful…really amazing. I'm speechless. " A pink tinge covered her cheeks as she smiled at me, obviously feeling great at complimented so highly.

"You don't need to act like a gentleman every time…." She replied to me quietly. "No, not at all. I'm being perfectly honest with you right now. I really mean it. You are gorgeous…believe me." I wasn't thinking about my replies, they went straight out of my mouth as my heart was speaking now instead of my brain.

"Thank you…Ajay…" The blush on her cheeks deepened. "You look great yourself too. It really fits you well." I felt something dancing in my stomach. I was immensely happy that she thinks that my choice of clothing was appropriate and that I look good in it.

I stepped forward towards her, holding my small present tightly in my fingers. "I have something for you…" I pulled out my right hand to reveal a single red rose. Noore's face brightened and she took the flower from me. "View it as small present from me…to make you smile even more…" I winked at her hardly containing all my emotions inside me.

"Ajay…" She breathed heavily, smelling the flower and inspecting it carefully. "It's beautiful, thank you…"

Then she did the uttermost unexpected thing for me. She leaned over to me, to my face to be exact and planted a soft, short light kiss on my right cheek. I thought I would probably fell down with my knees already weakened, feeling her lovely scent combined with the soft touch of her lips on my face. She smiled slightly with a blush on her face and motioned me to come with her.

'I love you…' That's all I could think about in that moment. I didn't have any power inside me against her charm and beauty. The feeling of her lips on my cheek…that put the dot at the end of the sentence. "Help me with this basket, so we can head outside." Noore told me while she looked for something to put the rose into. I lifted it up and I could feel that it was pretty full. Full of some delicious stuff for both of us to enjoy.

"What did you prepare for us exactly? I can see that smells good from here…" Her giggle came as her answer. "You'll see just in time. Come on, I'll take the blankets." I followed her lead and marched with the basket in my hands outside ready to dig into all the delicious things Noore prepared.

"I've inspected the surrounding area earlier today when you left in the morning…" We exited the cabin and I started to follow Noore as she seemed to know the exact location where we were heading. "And did you find some place where we could settle down?" I know that someone who would have heard this might think about the two of us settling down together in a different manner…different meaning…as a couple. What am I thinking about…I need to concentrate on the present and not focus on the works of my imagination which is going really wild when I'm with this enchanting being.

"Well pretty much yes…I've been successful enough…at least I hope I was" She chuckled and continued on while I shook my head thinking about the possible ways in which she could surprise me even more.

After a another minute or two we came to a forest clearing which held a nice view on a small meadow, the whole place looking unoccupied by any wild Kyrati animals. "This is it, I know it probably isn't the best possible choice and the most elegant and comfortable place to choose, but I hope we're gonna enjoy it here today." Her small sincere smile proved to me that she really meant it with this idea and was really looking forward to it as I've been the whole day from the morning.

"I would enjoy an occasion like this with you anywhere." She turned her eyes to mine giving me a gentle look. "But concerning this place, I think it looks pretty nice. It will be a nice change, you must be homesick from my father's cabin. It's gonna be definitely great here."

"No, no that much. I like it there very much, I feel 100 times more comfortable that I have ever felt in Shanath. You know, I got used to it but it never felt warm and comforting. But the safe heaven you provided me Ajay, that definitely does feel secure and when you come here…it…" I bit my tongue as I waited impatiently for her to continue. "When you are there too, it feels so comforting that I feel…like if it was my home."

She paused for a few seconds and looked at the meadow in front of us. "Sorry if I sound silly or if I'm just scaring you when I say it feels like home when you're there with me…"

'My sweet Noore, how could you scare me with that, you make me even happier now when you say things such as these…' I thought as I pulled the basket down and caressed her shoulder with my hand wanting to assure her.

"How could you…silly that would never scare me. Believe me when say that I'm very happy that you feel this way. I've wanted to help you from the start and now of course that we have become…amazing friends, when you are saying things such as these you make happy. I feel the same way." Her lips curled up to a beautiful smile and I felt that if I had not melted back in the cabin it's happening to me here and now.

"Let's get this thing on the ground." I nodded and together we spread the blanket, each of us holding one side of it while putting it to the soft grass that covered the ground. We sat on the blanket trying to get as comfortable as we could. I pulled the picnic basket to us putting it straight to the centre between us while Noore settled in her position. The result was her sitting half lying on her side, her legs in those black tights creased in half, exposing them fully to me.

We smiled sweetly at each other and she pulled down the wooden lid on the basket and reveal its contents. I looked into it to discover she packed various kinds of food into plastic containers. All of it smelled great a created a harmony that remained in your nose.

"So, we got various things. I prepared some basic traditional Kyrati stuff with the pantry and cooking possibilities I had and we also have some classic sandwiches with some lettuce, cheese, fried bacon and so on. And we got something sweet as well." She acted just like a little child getting excited about eating an ice cream.

She opened some of the plastic containers with its contents. Some of them had simple jasmine rice, grilled vegetables, potatoes with some herbs and also a 2 or 3 spicy looking sauces. While she described every one of them with equal passion trying to present them to me I watched her with uttermost adoration. She looked so happy that she can spent some time like this with me…she mentioned it that she hopes that I'll like it at least a bit and that I won't stay hungry. The way she sounded…so caring and nice…I knew that I'm never gonna leave her side as long as she wishes me to stay around her. I know now…that I love her…I can't deny it, I've fallen in love with her…I don't know how exactly am I gonna approach this topic now that I know what I'm feeling to her, but I'll let time decide. I won't do anything purposefully to get her attention to get her interested in me in that way, but if she'll express herself to me in some way that she thinks of in the same way as I do, nothing is gonna stop me from being with her. I'll start then with slowly showing her how much I care for her in this…other way and…if it'll become true one day…I surely won't believe it for the first days. And if not…well, at least I've been given an amazing friend, a great person who understands me in a way that I'm slowly starting to believe that she's something like my soulmate, if something like that exists. And if it really does, I think found my own one in her. She's truly exceptional to me in her own way.

"It looks great… and I mean everything…Noore – chan…" I interrupted her interpretation to catch my attention which she had fully. "I'm glad that you like it…what did you call me?" She asked me playfully with a slightly suspicious look on her face her curious eyes shining at me.

"Noore – chan." I stated proudly feeling my lips trembling from holding the laughter. She opened her mouth as if trying to find words, thinking about the form of her name in which I referred to her just now.

"Noore – chan?" She asked me again. I nodded hardly holding my laughter. She smiled at me brightly not looking insulted at all. "What does the "chan" mean? Is it some kind of a suffix?"

I couldn't hold it any longer and I burst out laughing almost literally rolling on the blanket. "What's so funny Ajay?" She was so cute now. "You should have seen your face…" She opened her mouth again her parting as a beautiful cherry.

"I'm sorry. Anyway…" I exhaled stopping my laughter and looked gently at her. "Yes it is a suffix. It's originated in Japan…I think the Japanese use it even today sometimes…it is a female name suffix as you can see and when used, it means that the one you call it with it is someone dear to you, or you appreciate the person…in those terms. But don't worry, I only used it once now, it was pretty funny to see you so confused, but that was enough." She looked at with wide eyes and then she laughed too.

"It does sounds really silly…especially when you use with my name which has its origins in middle – east…but I'm delighted that you think so highly of me…I always do the same when it involves you in the exact same way." I nodded smiling at her and squeezed her delicate hand gently. "But let's get started with what we have here. I'm pretty hungry already and you must be too. Which one of this meals do you wanna have first? Oh, and also I prepared some drink…it is a mix of orange juice, lime juice and some ginger as well to accompany it to our dishes. And if you are wandering if I packed some useable cups for us to drink from, yes I did."

"You're the best." My response came from the bottom of my heart. She was so caring that I felt that I'm heaven. That's exactly what I felt when she presented all of that. I noticed she blushed a bit, but didn't respond only continued to prepare our dishes. "And concerning the dishes…well I'll have a bit of everything." Honestly I did want to taste everything and compliment her on everything. And I was rather hungry as well.

"I knew it. That's why I prepared various things for us." She replied to me sweetly while she put out our bowls with forks and spoons along with some napkins from the basket and started prepare the food. We dug in our meals fiercely our hunger driving us forward forgetting about high level of decency at all. But I didn't care, I felt like I found my soulmate with her. She was so open and responsive with me. If you would have showed me images of us attacking our food together like this during the time I visited her in the arena and she begged me to kill Paul…I would have never believed it back then. I would have never believed it that she could undergo such change to her original old self and that she could feel so great with me. Although I felt from the start that she was indeed different in reality, I would have never guessed that she could be this…I can't even describe it. Amazing and beautiful things really happen in life. This is the proof of it.

We found ourselves enjoying the food immensely, not leaving a single bite on the plates. I don't remember the last time when I engulfed someone's dish as much as it was with Noore now. All the fragrances and spices were perfectly balanced, the rice, vegetables amazing and the spicy sauces gave the cherry on the top of all. I complimented her heavily, to which she blushed lightly and replied smiling a big thank you and that she feels happy and satisfied when I enjoy food prepared by her.

I couldn't supress one thought that has come through my mind when all this deliciousness. She not only cooked it precisely and carefully, but it seemed that she cooked it with love. Maybe love was one of the main fragrances. Maybe she was slowly starting to feel the same for me as I do feel for her. I know I'm getting into conclusions now (which I promised myself not to get into), but I couldn't stop myself from dreaming a little.

"I know we haven't managed to cover some important topics between us so I want to catch up with it today…do you agree with me?"

Noore's question came when we were still digging in our plates. Honestly I hoped that we would cover some of the more personal things between us as we haven't managed to do so yet. Although we've opened up ourselves to one another greatly, feeling like we can tell the other anything, I haven't told Noore about my childhood for example and other events that followed it. Maybe that is the reason why I viewed today as a more special day, more like a date. Our mutual connection and bond was only growing stronger day by day and I feel that we can confess some of our more personal things to one another. And I still remember she promised me after we escaped from Shanath to tell me everything about her family…that is a thing that I really want to hear from her.

After I got to know the real Noore, her real self, all her pains and worries, her characteristics, likes, interests and many of those things like that, I wanna know about her past. What exactly was she doing before she came here, how was her childhood and of course her family. Those are the things from her past I want to uncover and which she has told me many times she definitely plans to tell me about them.

"Most definitely…we have mentioned various experiences and events from our past already before, and we have always promised one another that we'll dig into all of it, so I agree. One hundred percent. You know I would love to hear more about your family…and I know you want to know about how I got here and many other things besides that, isn't that right?" We exchanged gentle looks at one another and I could feel my heart hammering in my chest again.

"Yes, exactly. Sometimes I feel somewhat guilty that we haven't covered these things yet, but I know that we will eventually get to everything together I have no doubts about that." She let go of my hand and took a sip of our fresh drink she prepared. "Tell me Ajay…about how you got here, about the circumstances that led you here. I know you mentioned that you came here after your mom's death, but what exactly made you come here?"

I took a deep breath, put down the empty cup I held in my hand and focused my eyes on Noore's enchanting ones. 'Finally I can confess the pain of losing my mom to someone…and it happens to be the woman who I've slowly but surely fallen in love with…'

I massaged my temples, thinking of how to start.

"I know we have time so I won't try to make it short…" We both laughed, enjoying the presence of the other, feeling like if we were reading each other's mind and emotions. "I came here after my mom died, that's right. But I didn't plan to travel here or to just clear my head after my mom's funereal and I chose this country for it…no definitely not. I was sent here by my mother's last wish. Literally."

Noore looked curiously at me. "Her last wish?" I nodded.

"When I came back from serving in the navy…"

"Wait you served in the navy?" Noore interrupted me abruptly, her voice expressing her disbelief with my confession.

I chuckled at her curiosity. "Yes I did. I'll explain later. Don't worry."

She smiled at me a motioned me to continue, slowly drinking the delicious juice from her cup. "When I returned back after my service…I found out my mom was dying." I looked at Noore to see the compassion written on her face. "I immediately cursed myself and blamed as well for not staying with her before…our relationship wasn't damaged or anything in that way, but I didn't keep in touch with her as much I should have. Many things that had happened led me to that path. And I blamed myself greatly. She on the other hand…she didn't stop loving me for a second, she welcomed me with open arms and said that I don't need to worry about it that she reconciled with everything and that she wants to spend the last weeks of her life with me. She was so kind to me even in the end." I felt like a boulder was pushing from upside to my heart. It felt so heavy to talk about my mother and her death.

Noore reached out her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine. "Ajay…I can see that it pains you very much and you must still think about her from time to time. What happened to her, what did she die from?" Her soothing voice calmed me down. The feeling of her soft fingers on mine gave me the needed strength in this moment.

"Breast cancer…it was pretty fast. She didn't suffer too much…and about that other part of what you said, yes I do. I miss her and I'm still thinking about her from time to time. Now in these times, I usually think about her when I'm alone and when I need some motivation…you are not there with me, so my thoughts automatically drift to my mom."

"I'm glad that the memory of her helps you in situations like those. But remember this Ajay." She leaned closer to me and her dark orbs were like a window to her soul. "I'm always gonna be with you. I'll never leave you and I'll always be with you as long as you want me to."

My heart beat only increased significantly after her small speech. I could imagine myself immediately with her…somewhere nice and cozy, home…in an apartment, casually lying on a couch, her back pressed on my chest while I'm caressing her dark locks and planting kisses on her head and hearing her giggly laughter while doing it. 'I sound like a teenage boy in love…wait, I probably am…oh god…'

"Same goes for me with you…anyway, when I spent the last weeks of mom's life with her, she started to talk about this foreign place called Kyrat. She described it as some kind of a raw beautiful piece of world, country that is very natural in its environment, but also has a great potential with moving forward in the 21st century. She wanted me to scatter her ashes here after she dies. To be exact she wanted me to scatter her ashes on Lakshmana."

Noore raised her eyebrows thinking about the supposed Lakshmana place. "Lakshmana? Has she ever told you what does that mean? Because I don't recall ever hearing about such place or thing here…" Even Noore doesn't know what Lakshmana means. I guess I will have to discover the meaning of it later.

"No she didn't. She just told me to scatter her ashes at Lakshmana and that I fill find Lakshmana here in Kyrat…as you can imagine I picked the first possible flight few days after her funeral…it was a pretty complicated route I want to experience only one more time…" We smiled at each knowing the next time, we're gonna be returning together. "I had to take a flight to London, then Dubai and then to Kathmandu, Nepal and from there I took a bus to Kyrat, to enter it on my US passport. The embassy has warned me that we do not have any diplomatic relations with Kyrat but I had to take the risk…my mother's last wish was sacred for me…that was at least something I could do for her."

Noore listened to me all the way her face curious for my continuation. "And then what happened? Have you managed to get here without any problems?"

I laughed sarcastically at remembering the firefight after arriving here and Pagan's triumphant arrival. "Well as you can imagine…not at all. I came here by the guidance of and older man named Darpan in a small bus…after we crossed the border a patrol stopped us. They started to check our passports and as well as look for some Golden Path members. And as it always happens in my case, there were some. A bloody firefight begun with the guards quickly shooting down all the rebels, while I remained inside. Then they pointed the guns to the bus and to me and started shooting. I bent down and quickly jumped from the bus. When I jumped out I noticed a helicopter landing at our place. And guess who arrived there."

I didn't have to think twice who's name would Noore say. "Pagan…"

"Exactly, all shiny and posh in his suit and coat he accused the soldier who tried to stop the bus of treachery and stabbed him with something he had in his hand. Then he invited me to come with him. I had no choice."

I could see the Noore's trembling her bottom lip from anger. "That was definitely Paul's work…he liked to does that kind of stuff. It makes me so angry…that they nearly…" She exhaled supressing the anger and turned her eyes to me and smiled at me. "At least nothing happened to you."

"Don't worry, I wasn't injured or anything. Forget that it happened, I'm here with you now and that's what matters now." The gentleness in her eyes only deepened after my words. I decided to continue. "Then I was transported to Pagan's palace where he presented me his crab Rangoon. The guy named Darpan was also there and Paul filled the role of 4th member at the table. Pagan introduced himself to me and then he discovered that Darpan texted the Golden Path about being held in Pagan's palace with me. You can imagine what happened to him, Paul took care of him in the torturing room. I could hear his screams. Pagan announced that he needs to make an important call and asked me to wait for him. I heard him talking to Yuma as he left me in the dining room alone. And as you can guess I didn't wait for him."

Noore looked at me quizzically with her mouth half open. "You mean you escaped from his palace?"

I nodded at her question. "I did. I sneaked to the lower floor of the complex and then I managed to pass by the guards to find Sabal in one of the basement rooms preparing an ambush on Pagan after they received the text from Darpan. And well, we fought our way outside and I escaped. I knew in that moment that something is wrong with this country. When I arrived in Banapur, I met Amita and Bhadra and other important Golden Path folks. They told me the reason why they came to my aid was that my father, Mohan Ghale was the great leader of the Golden Path years ago. And that my mother was a visionary and the most beloved female here too. It was all new to me and as you can imagine I had to remind myself that I'm the guy who came to scatter his mother's ashes. I searched for my father's journals and asked a lot of Kyrati elders about the story and they all proved me right. It was true. All of it. Still, I don't know how or when exactly my father died. Or why my mother didn't stay in this country after his death or what happened that made her come to US. Those are still the questions that I have to find answers for."

Noore sighed, smiling at me imagining the crazy strain of events that I had to undergo to get here…and ultimately to be with her now. "You mean your mom has never told you anything about this place? Or about your father? You don't recall any of that?"

I tried to concentrate on my memories from my childhood and teenage years but I knew I wasn't gonna find any trace that would lead me to my mom telling me about Kyrat. "You won't believe it but no…she has never told me a single thing about this country…that's why it came as a surprise for me when she had started to mention it and talk about it before she died. She has always told me that my father died when I was a little kid, under some accidental circumstances. Not anymore, every single time I asked her about him she would told me this, nothing more. Like she refused to talk about him. I guess, or I should say I understood that she probably still missed him a lot and she didn't find her way out of her sorrow completely and my presence in her life could not provide her that fully, maybe I reminded her of him. Or maybe…I don't know, maybe I could be completely wrong and things could be entirely different and something else might have happened here…I still have to find out the truth. And maybe I will sound weird now, but I feel that it has to do something with Pagan, I don't know why but I have this feeling."

Noore raised her eyebrows at me her eyes getting the curious look in them. "Pagan? Why would it has to do anything with him? I mean, that would be pretty suspicious at least…"

"I know it doesn't make any sense but Pagan mentioned when he brought me to his palace that the last time he saw my mother was when she told him she loved him." Noore's mouth fell open, not believing what I've just told her. "Yes, that's what he told me. Maybe my mother was in love with him but then she discovered how cruel in reality he was and then later she fell in love with my father and maybe Pagan got him killed or…I don't know, it's too much conspiracy theory on me." I could only wonder what I would uncover during my stay here in this country.

My mind was set on finding the truth. I was sure that there was something more to it than the legendary stories I was told by the golden path members. Those were like fairy tales or legends to keep them inspired in their fight against Pagan. And in the end dividing their leadership in two by keeping apart the traditional approach with the more modern renewed style of doing things.

"Well I hope that you'll find out the truth Ajay. You definitely deserve it." She caressed my hand with her gentle fingers. Feeling the touch of her skin on mine made me shiver. "And if you ever need my help…I mean any kind of help with it, I'll gladly provide my helping hand." She even wants to help me in things that doesn't concern her at all. I hope that it comes from the fact that she cares for me more than for just a simple friend.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." I returned her gesture. "So, you can imagine that after I got thrown into this mad conflict I involved myself in various things with the Golden Path...weakening Pagan's influence in regions, one by one. And then I got the info from Bhadra that my father's homestead is the place where I should search for answers…she also mentioned that the area was under your control."

She looked up at me, after her ears caught the mention of me doing something in the past that led to meeting her later. "I went there and I found Yoggie and Reggie…they occupied my father's homestead so I threw them out of there, but before I did they managed to convince me to try one of their drugs…and then they brought me to you…"

Noore laughed at me talking about those two fools but her facial expression changed after I got the part of our first meeting. "I…I still don't know what has gone through their minds when they brought you to me…but at least they did it. I still feel a bit bad for what I did back then…"

I opened my mouth to protest. "But I know that you are not mad at me and that maybe we wouldn't have met…and I cannot imagine that. It pains me so much when I imagine where I would be now if you didn't come…"

"Noore…" I tried to comfort her but she smiled at me and proved to me that I don't need to worry.

"I know Ajay…I won't think about any what and ifs in a negative way. I'm not suffering in that hell anymore and it's all thanks to you." She paused for a second the gentle smile not leaving her lips. "Those two idiots are still here in Kyrat?" By the sound of her voice I knew she meant those two junkies.

"Yeah they refused to leave my place and they built a tent outside and they are still camping there to this day. And they always offer me to taste and test their "stuff", which they have. I always deny their offer….of course. Crazy fools…" We both laughed imagining those two weird sneaky Scottish bastards hiding in their tent outside my father's homestead.

"So that is the closest and best possible description of the events and things that I had experienced before I met you. Those were the reasons why I came here and why I ended up in this civil war conflict and why I later met you…and I think you know the rest of the story rather well, don't you?" I tried to tease her a bit, seeing the reaction on her face when thinking about all the wonderful memories that we have gained during our time together. And I wasn't gonna stay unsatisfied with her reaction. She chuckled as well as I did and shined her radiant eyes.

"Yes I do, how could I ever forget a single bit of those…the last weeks were the best weeks of my life in last few years thanks to you Ajay…only you. You made those days brighter and sunnier, you made it that the dark clouds that hovered over my life were chased away, you were the one who made everything that way. And you are still doing it now, even in this moment when you showed me just now how you trust me with entrusting your feelings and deepest emotions about losing your mom…it makes me feel so good, that there is a person who trusts me this much and understands my own feelings as well and is not shy to show his own true feelings to me too. And I promise to you that you will always find all these things in me as well…we are really like two people who needed to find each other to bring some light to into their lives...because that's exactly what you did Ajay."

I felt that I would get a heart attack. She made so hard for me to not just confess my deepest thoughts of her straight in her face. The butterflies in my stomach were doing their job in my stomach pretty well. And Noore's exceptional level of beauty and the amazing scent caused by her perfume that was around her weren't helping at all too. I composed my thoughts processing everything she just told me, knowing the exact thing I wanna hear from her next.

"I wouldn't have said it better if I was to confess the same here on behalf of myself…" We shared our trademark smiles, Noore showing the slight dimples on her cheeks combined with the light red tinge on them. "But now…" I cleared my throat a bit "I wanna hear your side of the story…I know you told me some bits and pieces, but I'm really dying to hear about how you got here…and also I wanna hear about your family, I would like to know a lot about them believe me…I would like to know the people that influenced you and made you happy back then, I really do." I squeezed her hand, feeling the nervousness in my heart if this suggestion alone won't make Noore sadden. Although she mentioned some things about her family and she has already told me that she wishes to tell me many things about them and about her arrival in Kyrat and the reasons behind it, I would have completely understood if she would say now that she somewhat isn't in mood for it, or if she would get very sad. Because mentioning your family, your loved ones who made you happy in the past and who passed away is something different than describing them briefly like she did. But maybe my a bit irrational worries weren't fulfilled as what I could see wasn't a hint of sadness or anger on her face a but a content type of smile which revealed to me that she wants to tell me about her family very much.

"Of course Ajay, you know that I'll tell you everything about them. I want to, I really do. But let's just enjoy our desserts, what do you say?" Her eyes emanated that caring honest look that told me that everything is gonna be fine and that I'll get to know new things that concerned her.

"You actually managed prepared something sweet?" I was really surprised that she had the patience and effort to prepare us a desert. "Silly, of course I did. I told you when we arrived here and opened the basket. But you probably weren't listening to me because you were so hungry, weren't you?" She pointed her right tattooed index finger on the tip of my nose playfully lighting all the sparks in me.

She didn't wait for my answer as she pulled out two small glass bowls filled with something that I didn't recognized but it looked like a traditional Nepali / Kyrati dessert, that was made from milk or something in that way and that resembled a classical pudding with cinnamon and some fruit on top. "It's called Rasbari, it's a local dessert from here…I used to make it just for myself when I needed some motivation to continue…I think the sugar was the main essence what pulled me on my legs after eating this." She laughed and offered me on of the bowls with a spoon in her fingers.

The thing looked delicious and tasted exactly as I expected…amazing. Everything that Noore prepared today was amazing, delicious…she was obviously talented in this domain as well. I complimented her heavily on the taste, to which she thanked me and voiced her opinion that she hoped that I would like this treat too. I had enjoyed it so much that I almost convinced myself to give her simple short kiss on her cheek…just a little, tiny thank you for her efforts. When we were almost finished Noore cleared her throat a bit and gained my attention as I knew she was gonna to explain her part of the story how exactly and why she ended up in Kyrat.


	12. Chapter 11 (Part 2)

**Chapter 11:** **This Is The Time (Part 2)**

"Ajay...what I'm gonna tell you now…I haven't managed to tell anyone yet and I greatly appreciate that I can confess this to you…to you especially. And I'm sorry in advance if the…description of all the things that you will hear now is gonna make myself release a tear or two. I know, I'm not gonna cry, I cried enough…but if I won't be able to hold myself…forgive me, okay?"

She looked at me as she finished the dessert, her eyes expressing the deepest level of trust to me. I loved her eyes so much, they could reveal all of her inner emotions. And right now they showed me that she trusts me, she doesn't want to cry and that she isn't grieving anymore and that she will gladly tell me everything about her family. But I saw a deep glance of sadness that proved me that it will be a bit painful to remember what happened after she arrived here.

"Don't even say that, that's automatic, OK? I know you do want to tell me everything, but if you'll feel at any moment that it's too hard to continue we will stop and continue on another day, OK?"

"Ajay…" I caressed her cheek slowly, supressing the need to hold her immediately. "OK…so where to start…you remember I told you that I was a lawyer, right?" I nodded motioning her to continue. "Well, I wasn't an ordinary lawyer…I was working in the field of human rights as I told you and that was the main reason why I ended up here…" I didn't want to interrupt her a bit.

"I worked as a professional high level lawyer or an attorney you might say, representing my clients, but anyway, the most important agenda of mine was the area of human rights…I represented my clients in many different proceedings when their basic rights were violated…this need and interest has lead me to cooperate with a rather large firm on an external based working relationship. They wanted to use my experience in the field of human rights to help them identify particular violations of human rights in several countries as well as conducting a research with some possible future plan to improve the state of specific human rights in those regions. I had a lot of passion and interest for my work…so I accepted."

"You mean you studied Kyrat under Pagan's government?"

She sighed deeply and continued on. "Yes, exactly Ajay. I did. I was sent here to inspect the level of human rights here personally by myself. And you can guess that what I found did not please me at all. You can imagine that things weren't going very well here. I spent few days here just as an ordinary tourist, Pagan didn't even know about my presence here. Then I came back and I worked on a report about the level of human rights in Kyrat. I prepared and later issued a 12 step plan to improve the level of particular human rights here. Things weren't so bad here back then as they are now, believe me on that. The report was released worldwide, many of my colleagues congratulated me and it also got printed in several big legal stuff magazines and a few worldwide newspapers covered it as well. Somehow Pagan read it and decided to personally contact me…he was very sweet, if you can call it like that and offered me a discussion face to face in Kyrat. He presented himself as a misunderstood democratic leader who was punished by some terrorist group in his country and that he was impressed with my report and definitely wanted to apply my plan to improve the situation. Believe me he was very convincing and he sounded really honest. Maybe I was young or too naïve…but I accepted his invite. His invite did not include only myself, but my family as well. He said that he wanted to treat me and my family the best he could to show me he really means it with improving the situation of human rights in his country."

I noticed that Noore's tone of voice held some coldness in it as she spoke about those events, but on the other hand…she sounded like she wanted to confess all of this to me for a long time. She looked like a boulder was falling off of her heart and mind in these moments.

"So you accepted it? I believe that Pagan sounded convincing and that you wanted to achieve a bigger success in your career, but didn't your husband protest or did he just believed in your opinion and assumption on this?" I asked her, failing to hold off the tension.

She smiled at me with a bit bittersweet feeling in that smile. "No he didn't. I had my doubts, but he convinced me to pursue my dreams and ambitions. He has always been very supportive. He told me that he insists on going with me…I told him that I can go alone, that we don't need to bring the kids with us, but he insisted on going saying that the three of them would have a nice holiday and they would support me in my work being there with me, and that I wouldn't need to worry about our sons, that he will take care of them so I can concentrate on my presentation and talks with Pagan. So I agreed. We flew out to Kyrat." She bit her lip remembering the moment, her face holding a neutral expression.

"Believe me Noore, I would have done the same, had I been in his place back then. I would have insisted on going with you and not letting you go alone on such journey where you needed support." I immediately realized the background meaning of my words. My face flushed at the image of myself in the future, being married to Noore with a son or daughter of our own. I couldn't stop the wild way my mind combined with my imagination worked.

Her blush on her face deepened as well, although she held her neutral expression with only her eyes looking bigger and holding that spark in them, maybe realizing that I would provide the same amount of support for her at any time she would need it. After few seconds she gave me one of her enchanting smiles with my inside hoping that she thought of me in a romantic way just for a second in this moment. "I know Ajay…maybe that's why we understand each other so well and as I feel sometimes reach each other's minds. You would do the exact same thing as I would expect you to do…and believe me I would probably have done the same…I can be pretty stubborn when I want to, so I guess I wouldn't have let Michael go alone too…or if you would want to undertake such a journey…" My heart was melting like an ice cream on direct Sun heat. I know that I will never let her go away from my life. I wouldn't bear it, and she just proves it every second she can.

"Your husband's name was Michael?" I asked her wanting to know the names of her sons as well. She smiled lightly at my question.

"Yes. He was a professional journalist in one newspaper, you probably may have read something written by him. He had a bunch of younger journalists under his guidance, real professionals like him, not some garbage propaganda making idiots like you can see here. Or how you could see in some of the worldwide media, not too different from Pagan's loyal workers. We both loved our jobs, but he often made fun of me for being too passionate about my work. Our lives were pretty busy, both of us working full time and also managing lots of other things with it, but we managed pretty well together. He supported me in my career, saying that it fulfilled me greatly when I had a new case on my table. That it was the passion that drove me forward."

She paused for a few seconds reminiscing about all the good times she experienced in her job. "And of course then there were our sons…my two boys…their names were Arthur and Frederick…" When she saw the questioning look on my face she immediately understood the meaning of it and continued on after a small chuckle.

"Yes I know you may wonder why any of them didn't have a traditional middle eastern style name like me…well…I didn't push too hard on that subject, I simply didn't waive and on the other hand I liked the more European style honourable names that we chose for them…Arthur's name was my idea and the idea of Frederick's name came from my husband. His ancestors from his father's side were from eastern Europe I think…Poland probably or something like that."

I cherished the image of Noore with her sons in my mind. She must have been an amazing mother. I have no doubts that she was the most caring and supportive she could be with them. I turned my look on her to find her smiling gently, looking to the ground, and remembering her family in the best possible way. "How old they were?" Her gentle look fixed on my face, her delicate facial features spreading the wave of heat inside me that I've learned to know so well.

"7 and 4 and a half. Arthur was the older one…" She trailed off with her word as well as her look to the side. The topic itself was obviously making her feel heavy a sad inside, although I could not tell how bad it was for her.

"Noore…" I stood up and walked to her and sat beside her so I could be closer to her, provide her the much needed comfort. I craved for her closeness and touch in that moment. I didn't want for her to feel sad, the mere thought of it hurt my inside like a stinging dagger. Not wasting another minute I got a hold of both of her hands massaging her knuckles with my thumbs making her look at me instantly. The look on her face brightened just a bit, reflecting all that I could do for her.

"Don't worry Ajay, I too don't want to cry…I just get emotional when I talk about them…I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize for a single second to me when you'll feel sad. Just tell me. I don't want to see you cry but if you do, I will be here to hold you."

She flashed her grateful smile at me, her eyes having a watery look. "I know and I appreciate it immensely. Back to the topic…" She cleared her throat again, getting rid of the hoarse thickness that has built up in her voice from her emerging sadness.

"As you can imagine both Arthur and Frederick were rolling in joy beyond any measures when they heard that they'll gonna skip school and kindergarten for a week or so. The smiles on their faces when they told me that they're not letting mommy go alone on that journey filled my mind with positive energy, driving me forward only more. They motivated me to do many things…and going here and pursuing my career dreams was one of them. So we set out for Kyrat…the journey was long as you can imagine but we received a warm welcome indeed. I was surprised with the level of Pagan's hospitality and the overall level of generousness that he showed us when we arrived. We were transported to his palace where he greeted us properly, waiting almost at the gates like if he anticipated our arrival. I saw him only a few times on some pictures and maybe on one video with him when I worked on my report, so my suspicions about him weren't fulfilled. Of course he looked ridiculous even back then, he wore a hideous suit and fancy shiny boots with his hair dyed blonde. But he looked somewhat friendly and inviting…I couldn't imagine in that moment that this was the same guy that I had accused of such things in my report. He suggested to have a quick lunch with him, offered us a tremendous amount of delicious food and you won't believe that he was actually making jokes with me and with Arthur and Frederick. Even Michael asked me that if this is the guy who is the big human rights violator and who oppresses his people. I remember I only shrugged my shoulders not believing that he was like this. I thought that he really meant what he said, that he really wants to improve things here and discuss it through my plan. After we had our lunch he showed us to our apartment, again very much luxurious and pedant and also informed us that we can spend the next day as a private guests tourist of him in Kyrat and that he will show us around the country for us to see what major changes he's tried to apply to improve the situation and for me to see that he really means it. He looked like he really wanted to treat us so well. We accepted it as we were pretty exhausted and after the whole flight and we went to take a nap. Believe me when you have 2 kids, aged 7 and 4, everything gets more difficult and complicated in every way. I remember that in the evening I had a long talk with Michael when the kids were asleep…we discussed our impressions of this place finding that the feeling that Pagan really wants to improve things is mutual. Michael convinced me and really pushed back all of my last lingering little doubts I had. He told me he has always wanted to see Himalayas so he's happy to be here and the boys seem to enjoy it too and that he really thinks that everything is gonna be fine and that I will only further push my career with this successful project here. In that moment I believed him completely and felt excited for tomorrow as well…I was never more wrong in my entire life…"

Noore sighed deeply, her dark lock falling around her gorgeous face holding up the tears in her eyes. "On the next day, we followed Pagan's wishes and joined him on the tourist like venture in the country…I could have seen that many things changed since I had been there. And again Pagan was very inviting, talkative and friendly, describing various places to us, telling old fictional stories that were supposedly linked to those places to Arthur and Frederick…they loved his way of serving all the information to them, the fake enthusiasm he showed. He even offered them to see and pet a live elephant. He assured me that it's nothing dangerous and that the local folks ride on them very often so they patted an elephant, thanked Pagan as we both raised them to be respectful and polite. They looked so happy Ajay…"

Her eyes were even more watery than when she started. I couldn't hold it anymore. I reached to her and hugged her, caressing her back. The soothing action seemed to have a good effect on her. Always. Maybe I really have some power over her…but that power can't be compared to the one she has on me. I can't even remember when it started but it's so strong that it fully controls me. "I can imagine…" I continued to hold her until she leaned back from my embrace and continued on.

"We continued our journey alone without Pagan as he had to attend some important matter and wished us a great time in Kyrat. He also told me that he plans to hold a dinner for us and a private discussion with me about the main reason of my visit. He promised me that a projector will be available as well some other materials and that we will go through my plan for improving the human rights in Kyrat and fully discuss it. I accepted knowing that I will finally get to the main point of my stay in the evening. After our day which was full of interesting experiences, to add I couldn't deny the fact that things looked in a much better state…if you know what I mean, we returned back to our apartment and then headed to Pagan's palace for the already mentioned dinner. I took my signature briefcase, put on a nice dress, trying to look formal. Michael encouraged me that I would do fine and that this man seems to be already on the path of improving the situation and that I'm convincing enough to deal with this situation. He boosted my confidence, but the weird feeling in my stomach that has creeped up when I was getting ready didn't weaken at all. I didn't feel well. I didn't have any suspicions but I just didn't feel quite the same as I had when I had to undergo some difficult negotiations in my job. We went to the dining room, Pagan invited us again, graceful and theatrical as ever. The dinner took place normally, same as the morning ride with him or as his cheerful invite from the day before. He talked a lot about Kyrat, presented his wishes for things to get better and asked me a lot of questions about my career, my personal goals and ambitions. He also wanted to know a lot about my family, he asked many things from Michael and he talked with the boys in a real uncle like way, if you can imagine that. When we finished Pagan invited me to go with him to a conference room where we would discuss our topic. I felt scared almost as if I didn't want to go with him but one look at my family done it all. Michael encouraged me again and wished me luck while both of the boys asked if I will be back in time to read them a bedtime story. I almost burst into tears when they said this and promised them that of course I'm gonna be there, that they don't need to worry. I gave the three of them big kisses and left them to go with Pagan. That was the last time I saw them…"

Noore's honest confession was breaking my inside. I could immediately imagine the pain she must feel now…the whole imagine of her saying goodbye to her family…then following Pagan and not ever seeing them again…it breaks my heart and makes me want to cry. But it also makes me want to kill everyone who hurt Noore like this. I looked at her delicate face to see that the first tiny tear has managed to find its way from her eye. She held out her hand in front of her face, showing me that she can continue.

Normal POV

" _Follow me Mrs. Najjar, don't hesitate." Pagan's voice echoed through the stone corridor they entered through one of the doors in the main welcoming hall. Noore was tightly holding her briefcase close to her body, gulping the packs of weird nervous feelings down to her stomach._

" _Mrs Najjar…Mrs. Najjar…can I call you Noore? I hope it doesn't offend you or anything, the question obviously involves my proposition for you calling me Pagan and not using the honorifics anymore. I think it will make things a lot easier, don't you think?" Pagan smirked at her, flinging his hair in the process, trying to be the best fake gentleman he could ever be._

 _Noore smiled nervously back at him. "Yeah sure…Pagan."_

" _You see, how much better it is now! Now follow me, we will be there shortly." Noore nodded and continued on. The dead silence was only broken by the clattering sound of her shoes, filling the cold stone corridor with the echoing rhythmic sound, leaving her more nervous than ever._

" _Well…here we are, I hope you find it suitable enough for our oncoming discussion…" Pagan opened the double winged wooden door to reveal what looked like a medium sized conference room that was dimly illuminated by various electric lights that were fixed to the walls. In the centre of the room was a rather large table in a rectangle shape with hand crafted chairs around it. A white projector flashed a blank screen of light on the clear white wall, while it was connected to laptop, mean for Pagan and then later for Noore to use._

" _Of course, looks fine to me…" Noore wasn't sure any more about the level and quality of her voice. Usually her colourful voice would control the meetings with clients and the ongoing hostile environment of court rooms. And although she was a woman or maybe because she was, she could easily change her tone from a firm, strong one to a sweet, caring one that could melt everybody around her and convince to listen to her fully._

 _She looked around the room…her eyes slowly drifted off to Pagan who motioned with his head for her to sit down at one end of the table while he would use the other one. One of the servants appeared out of nowhere and helped Noore sit down like a true gentleman would. She thanked him quietly and put her briefcase on the table in front of her, while he disappeared just as much as he appeared…from nowhere._

" _Oh! And look at what do we have here!?" Pagan called out heavily inspecting the plate with a rather…weird dish…at least from Noore's perspective. "Noore…" She looked up to him and he smiled in his forced fake way. "This is the crab Rangoon, the signature dish of my chef, hopefully you will have a bite and find it as delicious as I do…"_

" _I'm fine for now, thank you…" Noore tried to be as polite as she could. She twirled her now cold white fingers in her lap hoping that the mood will be slowly lightened when they'll get to the main topic and she will take control of the situation._

" _Shall we get to the main point? The main event?" Pagan asked her ostentatiously while he grabbed a piece of the Rangoon from the plate. Noore nodded slowly as if almost being afraid and Pagan saw through this. "So tell me…Noore…how do you find Kyrat so far? I know we had a chance to talk about it but this atmosphere and the level of…let's say honesty that we can show here is much higher than during the dinner. I wanna hear your honest opinion darling."_

 _Noore shivered a bit, cleared her throat and composed her thoughts slowly but complexly. "Well…all that I can say is that I'm rather impressed by it. I mean the country is beautiful and although I only had a single day to get to know all of it prettiness I can say so far that I quite like it here…I see so many traditions combined with the modern spirit that is trying to blend some new flow in here…maybe that's why I found this country so interesting in the first place for me. And as for the other thing…I can see that you've been trying to implement some of my proposed actions so far which is great. I really appreciate your effort and your level of understanding that some things needed to be improved. I don't wanna offend you or anything…"_

" _No, no that's fine, please continue on…" Pagan interrupted her quickly while eating his crab thing._

" _But if you want my honesty, I knew that things weren't in the right place as they should be and don't get me wrong but I'm really passionate about my work and I really want to help your people which will ultimately in the end help you as well…I'm not saying you're necessarily a bad person, but I think that change was needed and still is. Although I can see that you read my report carefully and tried to apply some of my suggestions which is great. I hope that this meeting and my stay here will conclude in an agreement between us hopefully a new better days for Kyrat."_

 _Pagan clapped after Noore's little speech being theatrical as ever. Noore didn't know if she should blush or hide under the table from embarrassment. Pagan could be so unpredictable. "Bravo! Bravo Mrs. Najjar! That was the magnificent Noore! It really was…I hope you don't find my actions too irritable or discomforting it's just the way I am…" Pagan sighed, cleaned his mouth with a napkin and stood up._

" _I really find your speech amusing…it really impressed me. And I quite agree with you. I think you're right. But first, tell me Noore…how come such a beautiful young woman finds herself interested in things like these, hmmm?" Pagan slowly approached her, gesticulating with his hands all the way up to her._

 _Noore wasn't sure how to react. The comment about her being beautiful would make her happy at least a bit and she would politely thank him but in this moment, being in one room with a weird supposed dictator she didn't know what to think of it anymore. "Well…I don't know. I really do love my job, especially the field of human rights and I think I've managed to do quite well for clients so far. It fulfils me and my family supports me greatly…"_

" _Oh, your family supports you! Isn't that great to have them here with you supporting you even in situations and events like this? I believe it is…" Pagan exclaimed this in his heavy accent and sat on the table in front of Noore. "I had a family…once…long time ago. I was in love with a wonderful woman, we had a daughter together and she had a son from her previous relationship whom I thought of as if he was my own…"_

 _Noore stayed quiet not knowing if she should say a word. Suddenly Pagan smashed both of his hands balled in fists on the table right in front of her angrily. She let out a small scream and her body shook violently from his action._

" _Then…then one fucking cunt took them away from me! Do you get that? How can you lose your happiness, you whole life in just moments…" Pagan shook his head and returned to sit at his rightful place._

 _Noore didn't understand a thing of it and she was starting to get scared. "Why are you telling me this?!" She half shouted at him._

" _Because…that's the reason why you're here…" Noore raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to retort but she found herself speechless. "You see, when I lost them I lost my mind too…when I came out…I came out like this. I was a sane man but now…." He chuckled in evil way and started clicking and giving commands to his laptop. Images...horrible images were coming on the blank white screen where the projector was targeted. Imagines of dead people, people being tortured, and horrible screens of terror. There were also some pictures of what looked like an arena where there were bodies of animals and people slaughtered. Noore didn't believe what was happening…she didn't understand a single thing. Those images…they were from Kyrat._

" _Why are showing me this?! What is going on in here!?" She shouted at him._

 _Pagan grimaced manically and stopped with the slide show. "This…this what you just saw…were images from Kyrat. Actual images from these days…" Noore gasped heavily her hear beat quickening. "These are the results of what happened to me. Of what happened to my family, this is what I've become! I kill people just for them! Do you think I applied any one of your foolish attempts to improve the state of human rights here?! Do you really think that!?" He screamed at her in full power._

" _Then why am I here…this is pointless, me and my family we are leaving this place…" Noore stood up abruptly but she was met instantly with two armed guards. Her entire mind could not process a thing. She was scared…she was never scared like this._

" _Not so fast dear! Sit down…" Pagan commanded her in his fierce tone and stood up again._

 _Noore's body started to shake as she started to cry. "Why are doing this? What do you want from me?" Pagan approached her and chuckled. She could only sob quietly, having her fate at the mercy of this insane man._

" _What do I want from you darling?" He chuckled maniacally again. "Don't be scared…I don't want to drug you, rape you and then make you a leading lady of my harem if you think that…and although you are extremely beautiful it would be disgrace to you and I'm not really like that…no my darling I want to use your intelligence, your beauty, your skills, your precision and willingness to do anything…your personality, your charm and ability to impress people. You will do many things for me. Also I cannot let you run around and release reports and articles about the state of human rights in my country. Not when I'm trying to convince the western leaders that I'm the rightful democratic leader and do business with them."_

 _Without even noticing the gentle female being in front of him that was slowly breaking down he continued. "You will run my drug business which is slowly growing, you will use your good communication skills, your persuading skills and your knowledge of law. That's not gonna be the only thing. You will also lead the Shanath arena…you will organize bloody matches between humans and animals…fight to kill the other or die…I've never found any amusement in that but people seem to like it so be it! With your looks, charm and personality you will be like a goodness to them…they will adore you and worship you but also fear your wrath. You will be my vice lord! And you should believe me when I say it, because I'm always particular…very particular with my words."_

 _Pagan finished his psychopathic speech looking at Noore's crying, broken form. She just sat there, weeping not knowing if this was some bad dream. She turned angrily to him. "And why do you think I will do that?"_

 _Pagan smiled at her without any compassion. "You forgot who is the most important to you? You even told me that…"_

 _Noore realized the meaning of his words as pure shock ran through her face. "You wouldn't…" She gritted through her teeth not able to hold herself anymore._

" _Oh yes I would! Your family is in my captivity now. My guards are currently transporting them to a location where they will have everything that they need…"_

 _Noore cried even more realizing the extent of the situation. "No…"_

" _As I told you, you will do all those things for me and your family will be safe. They will be taken care of, no hurt will happen to them. When you'll help me enough I'll release them…then you can go too. I'm very particular with my words and I hold onto my words as well."_

 _Noore's tears fell on the stone floor, drenching her dress and watering her make-up in the process. "You think no one will ever search for me? Or for my family?"_

" _Do you think I didn't have this in my mind? Of course I did. They would, but before they even start to wonder where have you gone they will read a very sad report of the famous Dr. Najjar dying in a terrible accident with her whole family…such circumstances she died in, can't be uncovered…so sad." Pagan sighed. "So what do you say to my propose Noore?"_

 _Noore stood up from her chair, rolled her hands into fists and tried to run for the door. "I don't believe you! Michael! Frederick, Arthur! Don't listen to them! Run away from this place, don't worry about me! Mommy is gonna be fine! Don't hesitate for a second!" She screamed with all the might in her voice._

 _She didn't manage to get very far as the very moment she stepped from her chair a pair of guards who were standing behind her stopped her and held both of her arms firmly making marks on her skin. "They can't hear you Noore….bad idea…bad idea." Pagan made mocking noises while he approached the guards with their target trying to squeeze out from their firm hold._

" _Let them go at least! They have nothing to do with this!" Noore yelled at him, her tears rolling down her face._

 _Pagan sighed again shaking his head. "No Noore I cannot. Don't you see that with them released you wouldn't have motivation to do all those things for me? They need to stay so you will obey me for the time I need you. Of course I don't know how long it will take me with your help to achieve everything I dream of. Without them you would have no reason to stay here and serve under me. So they are like my insurance for keeping you here darling." Pagan caressed her cheek and she spat_ _at_ _his suit. "I see that you are quite the hard one…and you possess such a spirit too…hmmm…"_

" _You will never have me like this! Never!" Noore screamed at him. "Michael! Run! Whatever you may hear about me it won't be true. Take the boys and…" She didn't manage to finish her sentence as she slowly collapsed in the arms of the two soldiers._

" _Well…I was also prepared for this alternative…so sad, it could have gone smoother…well, doesn't matter, what's done is done. Take her to Shanath. She will prepared and educated there for everything that awaits her. After all it's gonna be her new home." Pagan commanded the guards as he held a small syringe in his right hand._

 _The sound of a door closing was the impulse for Noore to get up. She didn't know for how long she was out. Or even where she was right in that moment. Slowly opening her eyelids, she found herself lying on a bed, still fully clothed in her dress._

" _Noore, darling you're up, such a delight to see you awake again. I thought that the dose I used on you was too much for your petite body to handle...but I guess I was wrong, you're quiet a strong one! I wasn't wrong in my expectations…you are the perfect one for all this my dear…"_

 _Noore realized where she was. Or to be exact, she didn't know where exactly she was lying, but what the current situation was. Pagan…that was the word that crossed her mind…Michael, Frederick, Arthur…She looked around carefully. The room was pretty small and looked pretty dusty. She sat up uncomfortably and faced Pagan. So then it was true…all of that. She thought it was only a bad dream, nothing more. She hoped she would wake up in her bed and shake her mind from this terrible dream…dream that is apparently a reality. A reality where her dearest closest people on earth are held in captivity somewhere and she is locked up here with this dictator psychopath who wants her to be his next vice lord and help him in various thing in exchange for her precious ones lives. She felt she would cry…but on the other hand she realized she needed to stay strong for her family…she was the only one who could get them out of this. She would do anything for them, as long as they are alive and well, she is going to do anything on this world, anything in her power to protect them. Not Pagan, not anyone else will ever break her will, her hope that she will hold them close again._

" _Definitely not my dear. Do not even think about it. There is no way out of here. There are guards everywhere around here, and believe me when I say that the best you can do for your family is to listen to me closely now…" Pagan reacted to her eyes going around the room, searching for some possible escape route._

 _She knew she wouldn't be able to do anything, but the single small spark of hope still remained. "What did you do to me?! Where am I!?" Noore asked Pagan rather quietly, gritting every word through her teeth supressing her anger as much as she was able to in that moment. She felt still a bit dizzy and didn't know if she fainted or if Pagan did something to her._

 _Pagan chuckled at her angered question. He pulled out a chair and sat in front of her. "You are so lovely when you get angry, people will love that…" Again that teasing chuckle…Noore was barely holding herself down. She wanted to tear this man apart…she would immediately put a bullet to his skull if it would meant saving her family. The action itself wouldn't leave her untouched but she didn't think rationally in that moment. At least her imagination was not going straight. But in the end she stayed calm…she knew that further angering this man wouldn't help her or her family. And her family was on the first place for her. Always have been…they made her happy, drew her forward and made her life complete in its fullest extent._

" _But regarding your question…you are in Shanath arena…this will be your new home. From here you will rule this lower region of Kyrat. You will organize and lead the gladiator matches here as well as plan the drug deals that will help my profits. Your influence will slowly become essential…people will fear you as well as worship you. You will be like a mother goodness to them in every possible meaning. All in exchange for your family's lives…don't worry they are safe, no harm will be done to them and they will have everything they need. As long as you fulfil mine and Yuma's commands."_

 _Noore was glad to hear that her family was safe. But she knew she couldn't completely believe this man. She needed some proof. "How can I believe you that they are really safe?" Her voice was almost trembling…she lost all her confidence she once had when she had arrived here._

" _How?" Pagan reached out for a remote control and pointed it at a small TV that was behind him. The screen turned on to reveal what looked like a small rather dark room, but with Michael and the boys in it._

 _Noore immediately jumped up from her bed. "Michael!" She felt her tears welling up in her eyes. No, this cannot be true. She was glad that they were indeed safe somewhere but on the other hand…they were alone, held against their will in an environment they didn't know and begged for her presence and for their freedom for sure._

" _He can't hear you…" Pagan said nonchalantly. "But at least you have proof that they are alive and well…so do you agree now to do everything that I've told you?"_

 _Noore sat down back on her bed. Feeling devastated she knew she didn't have any other choice. Exhaling deeply, holding the tears in her eyes she faced Pagan with every possible inch of her hatred displayed on her face. "I agree. You won't hurt my family because of my mistakes. Because I made a mistake and worked on that report and then later let myself be jilted by your fake efforts, I won't let you hurt them. You were and are right…I will do anything for them. But if you ever dare to…" She couldn't even tell it. Her voice was breaking down. "Take them away from me for good…you will never see me again." Without them, her life would lost its meaning. They were her everything. Now the meaning of her further existence balanced on thin ice. But seeing them alive and the chance of seeing them again and unharmed, leaving this place to go back home…that was the motivation she knew she will need in the future. She knew she will probably do things, or order other people do things and stuff she would have never imagined doing, but for the sake of her family she was willing and able to do anything._

" _Good! That's what I like to hear!" Pagan clapped theatrically again. He stood up and eyed Noore closely. She felt uncomfortable…she felt sick. "I tell you one thing darling…you…" He pointed his index finger at her trying to find the words. "Are really beautiful. Your husband must be very happy to have a woman like you by his side…well not anymore, but your looks…you make the perfect resemblance of a genuine Kyrati mother goodness figure. You origins…will only help to portray you in that way. You hold such looks that will impress everyone…believe when I say the people will be enchanted and frightened by you at the same time…but…" He cleared his throat and Noore could only expect something bad. "The way that you look and present yourself…it won't do. That's why I instructed some of my servants to prepare you to embrace your new role fully!"_

 _Noore could only sigh and shook her head. She didn't know what they would do to her…if they would completely brand her, pierce her, tattoo her body or shave her head…anything they do to her that will ultimately in the end help her family she will accept. "As long as it helps my family I will do anything for them…you can change me in whatever way you wish to, be the goodness or some dictator ruler like you…I will undergo it for their lives and their safety." She kept her face blank, not wanting to express any emotions. She knew it wouldn't do any good to her or to her family, so keeping her anger boiling inside was a good choice. "Splendid!" Pagan shouted and motioned for her to follow him._

" _My lord…she is ready." A topless painted lady announced to Pagan that all the adjustments they've been doing to Noore were seemingly completed. She was ready to embrace her new role. And Pagan couldn't wait to see his new vice lord._

 _He didn't wait anymore and stormed in the room where the other weird Kyrati ladies were fussing over Noore, tuning up the last few details. "Thank you ladies that should be enough for her. You can leave now…" Pagan commanded them to leave and faced Noore to find her completely different. "I see they have changed your…visage pretty well…" He smirked when he saw the white piercing in her nose._

" _Fuck you…" She wasn't the one to usually curse or swear but now she didn't care…the situation was different. The cold retort rolled off her tongue easily when facing this mad man who have managed to turn her life into hell in just hours._

" _Now Noore…don't be so hasty…it suits you. And remember that it's helping your family as well. Keep that in mind. Anyway, this is the exact way I imagined you to be…surely you're gonna spark a lot of…" he cleared his throat loudly. "Male hearts…with desire and female's with jealousy and envy."_

 _Her looks very pretty much changed completely. Gone was the image of a successful delicate lawyer and a mother of two boys…it was replaced by an image of a raw, distinct commanding beauty. Like a goodness or a ruler who was ready to give out her commands to her servants. The only thing they haven't manage to take from her were her beautiful delicate features covered under her sadness and sorrow. She was dressed in her usual complicated Kyrati style dress, the ornamented top, the half trimmed skirt, the dark pants, wrapped sash with the brown sandals completing her outfit. Her eyes held the expressive eyeshadows as well as her naturally dark eyelashes were highlighted only more. The piercing on her noose could not be overlooked as it was making her pretty uncomfortable and she didn't seem to be getting used to it a bit._

" _This is the way a Kyrati goodness should look like? Was this and this necessary?!" She asked him coldly and pointed to the piercing on her nose and to her right hand which was now covered in various red tattoos._

" _Yes exactly. You look magnificent my dear…and about those…well the nose enhancement was needed, don't worry it won't hurt for long. And about the hand…it isn't permanent, it will worn off in time don't worry. Now come with me, I shall present you to the crowd in the arena…all in all, you're gonna be ruling them from now, so let's show them their new queen they will obey and who's gonna fulfil my commands!"_

 _They walked to the top level of the arena where Pagan managed to get the crowd's attention. "Dear Kyrati citizens…my loyal brothers and sisters. I, Pagan Min hereby present you the new leader and commander of the Shanath arena, the goodness that was sent to us from Banashur herself…Noore Najjar!" The crowd cheered at Noore's presence beside Pagan. She gulped heavily and didn't know what to do. She felt like she wanted to just jump down and end this nightmare…but her family needed her help desperately._

"After that…I returned to my room and cried for hours…I didn't want to believe it that this was the end…that this was my new home, that life changed so drastically. That my family was gone…and that I had to send people to their deaths, witness blood and torture, even organize it…control the drug trade, manage brothels…things that I've despised all my life. I hated violence and wars Ajay…and I had to endure all of that so quickly to hold the slim chance that I would see Michael and the boys ever again."

She was opening her heart entirely to me. I held her in my arms, quietly and slowly soothing her. In every touch I gave her, every word and every glance I provided her I tried to give in as much as my…care, gentleness and…blossoming love for her. She didn't cry as much as she did when I confronted her about the fate of her family or when she told me about her experience with that man…Hoyt Volker. Instead, she quietly cried in my arms, releasing everything from inside…from her heart and mind. All those distant memories she told me…I couldn't feel sorry for her more…I couldn't imagine undergoing such things…seeing your family captured, committing yourself to save them by helping a sadistic dictator. Now I understood why she wanted to end her life back then…realizing that your family is gone, that everything bad that you have done against your will and principles was for nothing. My dear sweet Noore… 'I will never leave your side. I will try to make you as happy as I can. You won't ever suffer like that anymore'. I thought as I rocked her gentle body. I felt like if I was holding a golden treasure in my arms. Or a fragile piece of glass.

"That's why…" She looked at me a few small tears escaping her eyes in the process. I took out a handkerchief from my pocket and wiped them away gently. She smiled at that but then her look turned to a serious one. "That's why I cannot lose you too Ajay…" I felt speechless. She was worried about losing me. She sounded like she…felt something strong to me…or just started to feel something strong. "You see…I lost so many people. I thought that without them…I was nothing…that I was done and that I did not have a reason to live. That my life was not worth living anymore. But you…" She smiled at me and caressed my cheek. "You didn't give up on me and showed me that I can still fight…that I can bear this pain. That whatever may happen there is no reason to give up! You brought light into my life…into the darkness that surrounded me. You brought comfort, joy and happiness back to me. That's why you cannot get killed in some stupid fight and leave me too!"

I held her closer to me. I understood what she felt. The same thing as I was feeling right in that moment. "That's never going to happen…." I tried to tell her sweetly. "You can rely on me…you can rely on the fact that I'll be at your side as long as you'll want me to and I'll always try to make you smile." I poked her nose with my finger lightly and she giggled in response.

"You always make me smile Ajay…that's one of the reason why I like to spend as much time with you as our circumstances allow us…"

I continued to caress her hair. She was like a little lost puppy that needed love. "I'm glad that you told me so many things about Michael…Arthur and Frederick…" I put emphasis on every name to show her how much I appreciate her honesty. "I'm sure that every second that you fought for them was a second worth spent…Pagan may have taken them away from you a long time ago…but…" She eyed me gently, waiting for my continuation. "They will always be in your heart…they will never be forgotten. And I'm really glad that today I got to know at least a bit about the three people that made you so happy…" We both smiled at each other, enjoying the other's presence.

"It makes me feel so relieved that I could talk about them…reveal the joy and pain that I feel when I think about them…how important they have always been to me…how happy they made me, how they filled my life with joy and happiness…" She paused for a second and turned her gentle eyes to me. "Same as you have started to fill my life with joy and happiness too…I feel so much better now that you know about them and about how I felt…"

"Believe me when I say I looked forward to hear you talking about them…they were an essential part of your life and as you told me, they drew you forward and made you happy. It's like a part of you…a part of you that I really wanted to know…you know that…and Noore…" I held up her face by her chin to scan her beautiful face. "Forget about the pain part…remember them and hold the memory of them in your heart in only a positive way. Don't think about the circumstances that made you work for Pagan…forget that. That was the dark past that you have managed to overcome successfully. Don't think about that anymore. They will never be forgotten in the future, but you can definitely forget about all the bad things, don't you think so?" I tried to brighten her up more, make her positive about her future.

"You're right…absolutely right. I've been thinking about it in terms like this already, but it just couldn't go away…I mean the pain…but now after I realised it and told you about it, I feel that I can start to forget it and only hold the positive memories of Michael, Arthur and Frederick in my heart." She smiled brightly. "I know…or at least hope, that the future holds something positive for me. I can feel it. Something inside me tells me that."

I gulped heavily, the images of Noore in the future flashing through my mind…images of her with someone…it pains me to see it but if it'll make her happy, I'm gonna be happy with it too. Her happiness is most important. But then it blurs and changes to images of the two of us…images from my dream when we were going home…us opening the door to my apartment finding it dustier and dirtier than when I discovered my father's cabin here…the two of us running around happily, Noore jumping on me, hugging me with me lifting her up and carrying her around, not allowing her to go away from my arms….

"Ajay?" Her sweet voice broke me from my daydreaming.

"Sorry I spaced out a bit…but I listened to you all the way don't worry…" She giggled. "I am 100% sure that…the future that awaits you, whatever kind shape or form it will have…is gonna be definitely positive. And if things don't go that way immediately…you'll call me and I'll make it happen…"

We both laughed at my open suggestion of my supposed supernatural powers. "You are the one Ajay that I would give god like powers immediately…they would be in good use. How about we go back to the cabin and then stay there or take a small walk around…what do you say?" I could see the spark of excitement in her eyes again. It made them only prettier if it was even possible.

"I agree. I'll take the blankets this time, you take the basket." She nodded and we did as I said. I put the blankets under my left arm and stood up with Noore doing the same except with her holding the basket in her right hand. I put my right arm over her shoulders and she leaned to me almost automatically as we both got comfortable at our spontaneous actions and the amount mutual understanding we had together. The position wasn't the best for walking, but we didn't mind. We enjoyed our little picnic and relieved ourselves from things that pained and weighted us for long time and that was most important.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:** **Sleeping With The Past**

After hearing Noore's complete confession concerning her arrival here, the events that led her to be in the horrible position she had to stay in for years, I couldn't adore her and respect her more. I knew deep inside…I had a suspicion, an ongoing feeling that the amount of love, respect and care that has developed inside me for her is only going to grow, but after her honest words and opening her memories, her deep wounds to me, I felt honoured that she trusts me so much.

The level of mutual trust and companionship between us has only strengthened after our little…date? Was it a date? It looked like that, but I still have to remind myself to not fall into fantasies about the two of us being together. I have to stay realistic. But she was…extremely beautiful…gorgeous. I'm pretty sure she's gonna appear in my dreams for days now in that outfit she wore. The way my heart was beating yesterday could only confirm that. I couldn't get my eyes off of her. She radiated so much beauty and perfection that it outshined every little aspect of matter around us. I could only hope quietly and possibly dream…that she thought the same of me. Making her happy and safe has become my biggest and most serious priority…helping the Golden Path and finding the final resting place for my mother was still in my mind…but when it comes to Noore, I would prioritize her safety and happiness each time.

I felt completely selfless when it concerned her. I've never felt this way in my entire life. With Liza…it was special in its own way, it was but…there never was such a strong protecting feeling. The feeling that I would do anything possible for her to be satisfied and safe. With Noore…the feeling is so strong that it controls me completely. And what did she do to make me feel this way? She just let herself open to me…trust me, be honest with me, spent time with me and now even possibly care for me…it was something special. All the facts that I've learned about her only left with that significant feeling…I want more…I want to know more about you, I want to spend more time with you, to feel you beside me. Close to me, never letting you go. And I was pretty sure that the upcoming days and weeks are not gonna differ too much from my fantasies…from my deepest wishes.

I felt so excited to hear more about her past, to reveal things about me to her too…to share our small laughs and the pains and worries of our past too. She provided so much comfort and help to me too. Every time I would need someone to talk to after my mom died I would have found no one…but now here she was…not only listening to me, trusting me and spending time with me, but also making my heart melt with her beautiful smile and with all her gorgeous features. I knew I was in love when I bumped my head into the wooden covering of my father's cabin after she gave me one of her enchanting smiles while we were returning back from our little picnic. I wasn't looking forward, so I embarrassed myself in this silly way. She was worried at first if something happened to me, but when I told her I was fine she was rolling with laughter. I felt honestly embarrassed. Although she giggled all the way, it didn't stop her from giving me that caring look which said 'I don't want you to hurt yourself'. I responded in the same way, silently thanking her for being so nice to me.

Unfortunately I couldn't stay with her as I wished I could. Even though her eyes and the way her significant perfume would hit my nostrils when she neared me would control my senses, I knew I had some things to do that couldn't cope with me staying in my father's cabin overnight. Unfortunately. That's the most precise word for it. The thing that broke my heart was the sad look in her eyes. The way she looked at me…she hoped that I would stay with her and we would share stories and in general have a great time like we always do. Almost, just almost I forgot about my commitments and obligation to the golden path and agreed to stay there with her.

If I would let my heart decide I would be definitely staying…no doubt. But her safety was my top priority. I wouldn't ever dare to let any info about her being alive and hiding here slip to Sabal or Amita. They definitely wouldn't be reasonable and would try to find her and finish the job that I was supposed to do. Even thinking about such a horrifying option brings pain to my stomach and heart. Like if someone was stabbing me there with a large sharp needle.

When I was slowly preparing myself to leave her, she approached me with a thankful and gentle, but also a bit sad look in her eyes. She voiced her most grateful appreciation for our time spent together and for my willingness to listen to her past, while embracing me tightly. I returned her gesture with the same amount of gentleness she showed me, while telling her that she doesn't need to express her gratefulness every time in such way. That we are already…close enough to understand that we can tell anything to the other. I squeezed her as much as her petite form would take and then I knew I had to go. The most gentle, caring look in her eyes was what I saw before I turned around and walk out the door for the chilli Kyrati evening. If I would only follow my basic instincts I would run back, hug her again and pepper her cheeks and neck with light kisses, to show her what she means to me and how much I want her to be happy and loved. But being the…a bit shy and awkward guy, I left with only saying goodnight. Maybe she expected a light, friendly kiss on cheek…maybe that would make her feel better. But it was too late as I was already walking down the path from her place with the strongest and most controlling feeling of all in my mind and heart. Love.

Every free hour, no every free minute that I had on my disposal, I would spent with her. We became like the long lost soulmates that were waiting for years to find the other. Or that's what I thought. I couldn't tell what exactly was going through Noore's mind, but she always seemed very happy, even excited every time I would come to her. We would give each other a firm hug, not wanting to let go. Our growing closeness on the emotional level was one thing but I had to notice that we shared our signature hugs and even small high fives more often than ever. And every time my skin would make contact with hers I would feel this electric charge going through my body…that strange weird feeling that would appear inside me. Sometime I would try to sneak a glance at Noore's face to see her wearing similar expression as I did. Maybe she was feeling the same. This thought alone would always bring so much joy to me that I thought that I wouldn't be able to hold it anymore.

Also I've managed to notice one other thing…that she was pretty shy in some areas as well. Maybe it was my personal impression that I gained, but it couldn't be denied. When I would do something…let's say unexpected, like touch her hand in a bit affectionate way, but still keeping it in the 'friends forever' way, or get close to her, especially when I would lean closer to her face she would always blush a bit, sometimes more than bit, her eyes getting bigger in the process and then she would try to avert her look. I knew that I probably did the same thing, at least with the blush, but it was still so cute to see on her. All in all, my dreams and hopes remained the same…and all my feelings for her were only growing stronger and stronger. I knew that I fell in love with her…but during these weeks I realized how much I really did.

How powerful it was…that this selfless, protecting, gentle and loving feeling was the strongest emotion that I've ever experienced in my entire life. And spending more and more time with her, knowing her and understanding her more only proved it right…and ultimately made it so much strong and powerful that I would have never thought that I could love someone besides my mom as much as it was now with her…as much as I deeply love her. I guess my previous experiences…better said experience with Liza was not a perfect example and it didn't learn me in all that time so much about love and care as my time spent with Noore so far has managed to.

"Why did you join the navy Ajay? I know there's a background story and…I would really love to hear it…if you can tell me of course." Noore's question came out so sudden. We were casually sitting on the couch after a light but delicious dinner. I turned my head to see her eying me with that innocent look on her face combined with the gentle smile on her rosy red lips. I didn't expect her to ask this question now, but I knew she was a curious little being and she wanted hear about this…rather painful part of my past already. Sighing deeply I decided to dive into all those uncomfortable memories of my "sadness and sorrow" period…all the pain and alcohol and the navy period…'Oh god' I though. "Did I…touch a topic that's too uncomfortable for you and that don't want to talk about? I don't want to invade to something that makes you feel…so bad…" She almost whispered the last few words while looking at me with a gentle, caring look. 'No my dearest Noore…you are not definitely invading anything too private for me'…I wish I could say this to her out loud. Instead I had to go with a slightly different version.

"No…definitely not…" I chuckled slightly. I could see the bits of stress falling off from her, knowing that her question didn't change my mood. "You can ask me and tell my anything…" I resisted the urge to bring her delicate hand to my lips and kiss it affectionately like an old gentleman would.

I exhaled again knowing what exactly is going to follow now. "I knew you would eventually ask it and I'm gonna feel relieved when you're going to hear me out in this…it's not gonna be pleasant in some ways…at least the reason why I joined the navy was not very…let's say fortunate…."

"Tell me about it Ajay…I wanna hear everything…" She still insisted on everything. To completely uncover all of my pains and secrets. And I was gladly gonna uncover it for her…only for her. With those enchanting eyes, she could easily convince me to confess anything to her. Apart from one thing. I decided to completely turn myself to her, changing my position to a Indian style sitting manner. She giggled slightly and did the same. I could only scream with joy…she was so unbelievable sometimes.

I decided to start slowly. "I know that I've already told you that I had joined the navy to serve there…I spent more than a year with the army. The timeline itself…was, as you can probably imagine, not very easy for me and I learned a lot during those months. Also that's where I have my training with guns…and other skills and abilities that I use frequently here. All in all, there is not much more to say about those months…maybe apart from the fact that I had to obey orders and adapt myself to the harsh discipline…and also I was lucky enough not to be send to a real war conflict…luckily." I sighed deeply again, feeling my hands getting a bit sweaty. "But…I'm not finished of course. I know you want to hear why exactly I joined the navy…what were the reasons for it. Well…there is a simple answer…Liza."

Noore's gentle smile froze on her lips. Her eyes widened and her lips started to tremble a bit. "Liza? Who is or…who was Liza? Liza was your g…." The growing sadness and uncertainty could be obviously heard in her voice.

"Yes, she was my girlfriend…" I confessed to her and stayed silent for a few seconds. She opened her mouth but otherwise stayed calm.

"What…what happened…with her that made you join the navy Ajay?" She stuttered the whole sentence, her voice almost breaking at one point. I knew she suspected something bad behind this all. Looking deeply into her eyes I decided to put a sincere enough smile on my face to convince her that everything is fine. She seemed to understand my actions as I noticed the same spark she always held has returned to her eyes.

"You know I trust you with everything on this world…" She nodded smiling slightly. "And I want to tell you about my a bit unfortunate past with Liza…about my only serious relationship that I had and which has brought so much pain to me in the end…but it's all past so I won't have any trouble speaking about it now. I think you are the one who deserves to know it all…you are the one to whom I want to confess this all…" Seeing the beautiful full smile on her face I knew I had enough power to do it.

"As I said…Liza was my girlfriend. The only real long term relationship I ever had was with her. I was almost thinking about spending my whole life with her…how stupid and irrational I was…" I smiled bitterly. "We knew each other from our high school days, she studied on the same high school as I did, but we were pretty much indifferent to each other. We only shared a word or two, not much. I wasn't thinking about ever being interested in her in a romantic way. That all changed when we met a few years later…she looked different, better and the circumstances were set in a way that we weren't able to avoid each other and I started to feel some fprm sympathy to her…it was a different kind of sympathy that you feel to a friend. She fancied me, I admit that…you can imagine that we broke the silence and the awkwardness and went on a few dates. I fell in love with her…she seemed perfect to me back then." I felt something sour on my tongue. It was from talking and remembering those forgotten days with Liza. How foolish I was.

"Then…we had gotten together, she confessed her feelings to me on one of our later dates. I was happy…extremely happy back then as I remember. I thought that I had found someone who was I meant to be with." Noore watched me all the way as I talked with her mouth slightly open, inspecting my facial expressions.

"What happened…that made you resent her…because I can feel it from your voice…" She trailed off quietly. Here comes the hardest part.

"Our relationship…" I cracked my knuckles on my hands trying to find the right words. "It was really nice…or that's what I've always thought. We understood each other pretty well, we spent time together everything was pretty much okay as you can imagine…but when I recall all those times now…I was only living in an illusion. I wasn't truly happy. There was just something missing, something not right…it wasn't the kind of relationship, which is like having the significant other, your soulmate beside you…that was not the case with Liza. And although we had our fights, we respected each other and gave the other his / her freedom when I or she needed it. We were even living together, can you imagine that!" I chuckled bitterly at the memory. Noore only stayed quiet. I could hear her breathing when I got quiet for moment again.

"She even introduced me to her family…I thought that everything is going great and that I'm probably going to marry her one day…" I could see Noore stir at mentioning me marrying my ex-girlfriend. "Luckily I didn't even have to spend a buck on the engagement ring. I woke up from the masquerade I was living in. As time went on I felt something was changing Liza…she was different, she wasn't so honest with me. Or maybe it was from the start and I was just so blind that hadn't had the chance to notice it earlier? Maybe. The worst thing of all could happen happened…" I almost felt that I couldn't continue. But on the other hand I wanted to get it out of me…and although it's terrible, confess it to the person who is dearest to me on this world.

"You don't mean…" I nodded, biting my bottom lip, supressing the old almost forgotten anger inside me. "She cheated on me. And not only that, she was cheating on me actively for months…"

"Ajay…" Noore's caring voice interrupted me. "I'm fine…." I held out my hand in front of me. She intertwined her gentle fingers with mine. "She used me." I looked at Noore to see the mix of shock and anger on her face. "For months she was cheating on me, behind my back. She kept our relationship active because I provided her the stability, security and of course the back door if her new "acquaintance" would turn out unsuccessful. Can you understand that?! I felt…I cannot even describe it completely to give you the whole picture…I was so mad on one hand and so sick on the other. She has done the worst thing of all…the worst a person in a relationship can do. Lie. Lie so much that it stinks. It's bad enough when you cheat on your supposed loved one in a normal, non – drunken state, but to be actively cheating for months, looking into your face saying fake loving words…that is something that hurt me so much back then. I really loved her and I was always honest with her. I never lied to her or anything like that. From those events…I fell into a drunken spiral that controlled my life for weeks. Because of that I lost my job. I literally lost the meaning of my life. I didn't know how to continue on. Discovering such lies and treachery from Liza almost killed me…you can imagine as you know so well how much it affected me. I drank so much. I lost count of days. I was a mess…a total wreck of a person."

I felt the bitter taste of alcohol and despair in my mouth even now. I fell down so much back then. The lie I was living in almost destroyed me completely. But maybe all the pain that I had endure, all the chaos and destruction that I brought to myself…life learned me a lesson. Giving me the bitter lesson has also forwarded me on a new path that would lead me here. To meet and save this…beautiful angel in front of me. All the pain and suffering with Liza was in the end useful for…because it would ultimately lead me here. Here to this reality with Noore.

"Ajay…" She quickly hugged me, caressing my back. This was one of the many reason why Noore has become so much important to me that Liza has ever managed to become. I returned her gesture enjoying her body on mine so much. It felt incredible every time she would do something like that. The small goose bumps always managed to appear on my arms in the process. I decided to continue on and leaned back from her comforting embrace.

"I promised myself not to ever love again. After all that what happened with Liza…I never wanted to trust any other woman in a romantic way. It felt so bitter…I was extremely damaged. I felt that I'll lock myself from the outside world." There was a minute of silence during which Noore avoided my eyes at any chance, with the small hints of smile disappearing from her face completely.

"And do you…" Noore's breaking voice surprised me. "Do you plan to keep on with that promise?" She was looking at me so intensely…it looked like she was scared of something. Or like if she was waiting for some extremely important results while it was obvious her pulse rate was growing extremely fast. Her breathing was quick and shallow and her bottom lip was trembling.

I immediately felt that I want to tell her that I've already broken that promise and prove it to her in the most honest and affectionate way. But that would be unwise. So instead I decided to play it safe. "No of course not. I don't want to isolate myself from other human beings." I chuckled and she felt visibly relieved. "I was hurt back then and I thought that life in its original meaning had been lost to me, but I found out later that it was not a right thing to think about life in terms like that. And to devour yourself in so much alcohol…resulting in losing your job and some friends from there as well."

Noore stayed close to me and continued to look at me gently. "What made you clear your head like that?"

"My best friend from high school, Jason. He was my buddy for years. He has always been an amazing guy, and I would like you to meet him, when we'll return back home. You'll definitely like him too."

"I'll be honoured Ajay, believe me." Her voice immediately proved me that she was honest. That she really meant it. Not like with Liza. Noore is entirely different.

"He found me in one of my drunken states. And he acted like he has always been…a true friend. He waited for me to get sober, threw away all of my bottles even though I was protesting. He convinced me to forget about Liza and my stupid, senseless promises about locking myself from the outside world. His words really touched me and changed me back then. He knew how to do it, after all he knew me pretty well. He told me to join the marine-corps with him, that it would give me some discipline and new wind to my sorrowful life. That after serving, I would return back completely changed and stronger for the new obstacles that would wait for me. And as you already know…I agreed. He had such an influence on me. But it did me good…I needed some strong commanding hand on me, because I wouldn't have been able to get out from that mess by myself…and the military provided that exactly." My words proved true. Without the harsh drill of the navy I wouldn't have been able to handle my mom's death and then dealing with the dangerous Kyrati environment…fighting Pagan's troops, working with the Golden Path, all of these that would lead me to meeting Noore in the end. Without the military discipline and training I wouldn't last a second here. I would have been killed immediately…or rather got captured.

"It was definitely benefited you in many ways Ajay…" The way she always turned her eyes to me with her dark eyelashes fluttering in the process…it could capture my whole attention in any moment. And this one was no different. "It pains me to imagine you in such pain…so much alcohol and despair as you described it…and to add…" She balled her right hand into a tight fist. "That woman…what she did to you…I can't imagine ever doing that to Michael or to anyone else…it's just…disgusting. If she felt that the relationship she had with you was not satisfying her enough or for whatever reasons she wasn't happy anymore she should have just calmly explained it to you…but that…it makes me angry because she did that to you and I know on the other hand that you would never be able to do the same to her or to any other woman in your life…" She got the hold of my hand, this time her skin slightly colder. "Remember when you told me that you hate one night stand relationships?" She smiled at me and I felt that I would crash my lips on hers right in that moment. "You told me that when you truly know, understand and trust someone…you really mean it and you would always love that person deeply…I had no doubts about your words back then. And it remains the same now. Sometimes it's just so uncommon to see a man so honest about his intentions when it concerns relationships…that's why it makes me angrier about what…Liza did to you…"

If only I could ever show her how much I adore her and show her that what I told her about my point of view when it concerns relationship only strengthens with her. That in reality for me she's the most perfect being that I've ever met and I won't ever be able to distant myself from her in any meaning or way. The only way it would be possible, if she will ask me or if I'll really see that she's truly happy with someone else. I tried to return her gentle smile as much as I could despite the nervous ever growing feeling in my stomach.

"Forget about Liza…I'm fine to talk about her now, but I don't want you to get angry at all because of her…" She seemed to understand my lead as she nodded and the angered glance she had when she was mentioning Liza disappeared from her eyes. Instead she reached to the box of sweets she had beside the couch and pulled out a bar of chocolate offering it to me with a playful look in her eyes. The way she would tilt her head a bit and purse her lips making an image you couldn't resist…I almost burst out laughing. She could be so funny in any situation she wanted to…and she did it without any force…just casually. "I know it's not much, but I managed to snatch away some when we were leaving the arena…"

Now it was my time to look playfully at her. "Don't worry, when we'll return back you'll be able to enjoy everything fully…but for now I think this is perfectly fine." She giggled and offered me a piece while already enjoying her own. "You know…" I crunched the nuts inside the chocolate. "I have to tell you one thing…" She gulped down hers and focused her dark orbs on me making me feel more amazing again. "I knew Liza for years…she was my girlfriend for more than 3 years…and I have to tell you…" I slowly composed every word averting her eyes for a few seconds before not being able to resist them. "That she has never seemed to understand me so well in all those years as you have managed to in the last 2 months…"

Her mouth opened slightly and I feared for a second if I didn't cross the line of friendship between us. Or if it wasn't too soon to say something like this. But the loving gentle smile on her lips that spread afterwards proved me wrong. "And she was my girlfriend and lived me and all…I hope I don't sound weird or anything, it's just the way that I feel and – "

The silencing finger on my lips stopped my continuing excuses that were pointless. "Stop Ajay! There's no need for any excuses…I'm more than happy, no I'm excited so much you wouldn't believe it, I feel honoured and everything possible that goes with all this…that you really consider me in such way…" The butterflies in my stomach were controlling me completely. "And I want to tell you as well that…no one…apart from my husband has ever been so good to me and managed to understand me as well as you do…it makes me feel so special that you share your time with me and see me like that. Nobody in years has brought so much smile, joy and overall life to me as you have so far." I could only watch her and engulf her words combined with her beauty. Also I knew that I had to stop myself from telling her any more sweet, but honest and true stuff as it would surely lead me to reveal too much. "I'm beyond happy that you found me here…saved me and didn't give up on me."

"I could never do that…I told you that…" I winked at her. "But I think you owe me a thing now!" Her face widened in a mix of confusion and playful surprise.

"And what would that be?" She put her hands on her hips, trying to look unavailable, but still cute and funny. "Well…I told you about Liza and I think I deserve to know your side of the story! Of course if it doesn't bother you in any possible way…" I waited for her response. To my slight surprise she giggled sweetly and shook her head.

"No of course not…I'll try to recollect all the memories I have and I'll try to give you the best possible picture of Noore Najjar from her past days…" She cleared her throat and put on a deep thinking look. Eyeing her closely she noticed my questioning look and chuckled.

"You have told me about your unfortunate story with Liza, so I guess now it's my turn to explain how I got together with Michael, isn't it?" I nodded at her dancing eyes full of mischief. "Well I'll try to be as eloquent as I can, hopefully my memory still serves me…it has been so long…so many…maybe you won't believe it, but almost 15 years have passed from my first encounter with Michael…" She sighed heavily and stared off for a few seconds. I decided not to interrupt her, knowing that this might be still painful for her to remember.

"I met him when I was a young lawyer…just few months after I finished my studies…with excellent grades!" We both laughed playfully at her small display of cockiness. But I suspected that she must have been extremely salutary in her studies. It radiated from her…combined with her beauty and her true gentle characteristics she made the perfect image for me.

"Anyway, after finishing my studies I had started to work in a rather large successful law firm…being the junior associate with the excellent results from school and some job and study experience from abroad I was almost immediately given some challenging and complicated tasks…cases if you wish to call it like that. Of course I had my lecturing boss, an experienced attorney overlooking my job, controlling, correcting and editing most of the drafts prepared by me, but it also learned me so much and pushed me forward in my career…but you can imagine that I had a lot on my hands and during one of the projects we had, our firm got a request for an interview from a large magazine…they wanted to write an article about and upcoming case we had which I was currently at that time working on. My boss instructed me to undergo the interview with the journalist they would send, and tried to prepare me to present our firm as best as I could, saying that it would give me a chance to present myself as a lawyer too…and guess who the magazine sent to interview me!"

"Michael?" She clasped her hands with a teasing smile on her face. "Exactly! Can you imagine that? It must have been some kind of fate back then…but I didn't know it of course, I was rather…hesitant about relationships. I was so formal and strict, at least I tried to be. I can imagine that I was a rather hard nutshell to crack. I focused on my job so much, I wanted to be successful and I thought that having a boyfriend would slower my career progress. You see…" She stopped and chuckled shaking her head.

"I think that you are probably wondering why would a young lawyer, who had a pretty bright future in front of her resent herself from being in any relationship…" I nodded, realizing she was reading my thoughts perfectly as always. "Before Michael, I had only like 2 relationships…high school relationships, you know high school, nothing too special about that, young selfish and silly love…but I was pretty disappointed and I chose to concentrate on my studies fully so therefore I didn't attend any hard – core party things during university and I rather chose to study…I had friends of course, but didn't have any boyfriends…and I wanted to continue this path because I felt I wasn't ready for giving myself to someone fully. I despised my colleagues from university, who enjoyed the university life…you can imagine how. That was not a thing for me. And I was really glad that my hard work paid off in the end – in form of being involved on working with huge projects. So when I went on the interview with Michael I didn't have any…how to call it…love on first sight impression. I approached him rather professionally and discussed our topic. He asked me questions I gave him answers. I didn't notice back then how he talked to me and how he seemed be so intrigued about me as he told me later…he told me I looked so strict at first sight but so beautiful too that he had to risk it. He told me that when I opened my mouth and started to talk he couldn't tear his eyes off of me."

I started to laugh. I could totally imagine that. Noore being the strictly professional and distant with her beautiful looks and distant hardly walled inside. "You must have been very hard to get to…" She hit my shoulder with her fist playfully.

"Maybe I was, but I didn't know it then. But he seemed much endured to battle with my seriousness…and he succeeded. After our initial interview I thought that it was over, but I was wrong. He contacted me and offered me to meet again, saying that their magazine was interested in my particular kind of job area and they would like to extend their article about our firm and that he would love to cooperate with me on this. I agreed not knowing what kind of a mischief he had in his mind. It took him like another three professional interview dates to ask me to go on a date with him…it wasn't just because I didn't like him or anything but I was very professional and focused on my project and our firm so much that I had managed to overlook all the signs that he's been giving me. After he asked me on a date that would not involve the article in their magazine but would rather cover my personal insights, with him saying that he wanted to know and see my true honest view on all those things, I started to realize that something might be wrong. Well, not wrong, but you know what I mean. On the date, he revealed to me that all those three previous "job" dates we had, were only cover ups for him later asking me on a real date. He said that there was no new article being written, but he promised me that he would push an article like I thought he was doing with his boss. I laughed at that and shrugged it off, I had to admit that he really got me to believe that. After all I realized that I had enjoyed all those meetings with him. He broke my invisible wall…slowly but surely. He respected me and understood me…" She turned her enchanting orbs to me melting my heart once again.

"I went on a few dates with him and…you can imagine that I enjoyed it very much. I still loved my job, but I found that I can still be happy with someone who makes me feel that way and still be successful and enjoy my career too. I don't want to give you the impression that I was a strict full, careerist or some kind of feminist…god no…I knew that I possibly wanted to get married one day and probably have kids, but I just didn't have anybody to share this idea with. But when Michael came, I didn't resist a second as I knew that his intentions with me were pure. I only realized that when someone supports you and loves you truly, you are much more motivated to still climb forward and go on and on. And after we got married and our kids were born…my view on life changed completely…not that it hadn't changed much when I committed myself fully to Michael, but after giving birth to my boys, family has become the most important thing for me and I cherished it so much. Of course I still loved my job and my they supported me immensely in that, but believe me that my views have changed."

I watched Noore quietly, observing her beautiful features as she described her past…the past that changed her and made her very happy from her words I just heard. I tried to listen to her every word closely, thinking about how I would continue with our talk. The way she described how much her family has changed her life…how much she depended on them…it made a big impact on how exactly I viewed her in terms of her being with me in my wildest dreams in the future. And the strong feeling I had only got stronger after her words…I knew she depended on her family and loved them infinitely, but the way in which she described how her life changed with them being in it…it makes me respect her and adore her so much more, due to the fact that she valued her closest ones over everything else. I know that she looked extremely desperate when she sought me in the first place weeks ago, but that was a different situation…but getting to know about her past and how her life changed over the years and how important her husband and sons were to her…that was something entirely different. It was like getting a glance to a personal inner circle of memories, experiences, pains and joys of the one person you have grown to love. And when you happen to be this close to your loved one, it makes you feel a whole lot different. You feel that you are an important part of his or her life…and I only hope that I'm more important to Noore than how she has already shyly admitted, or as Sabal had told me. Not knowing it was her I was talking about…luckily. All of this has made me feel like I want to give her so much love and care…every cell in my body wanted to flourish her with all the love I was able to give to her…and she deserved it all.

"I see you must have been very happy with him…" I started slowly not wanting to open the old wounds she has managed to heal from slowly over the time. A small smile appeared on her face…not a bittersweet one like I had expected, or like the one she gave me after I convinced or rather forced her not to kill herself, but a sincere one that came from a newly reborn Noore.

"Yeah, I was…I loved him dearly. Our relationship…all I can say is that we were both very happy as a married couple could be after years of marriage. We had our ups and downs and fights as every couple does, but overall we really stayed strong. That's why I fought so hard for years to get him and our boys back. Not that I wouldn't fight for him if we were not "in tune" like we were, but you know it's different when you and your husband or wife are not on let's say best terms anymore and you are separated or even getting divorced. So it was all that more painful for me to be separated from him for such time and after you told me the news…well, you saw my reaction…"

I reached out for her and gently cupped her right cheek in my hand. She turned her surprised eyes to me with a pink blush on her cheeks. "I understand you completely. I would have felt the same if was in your place." I ran my thumb across the smooth surface of her cheek and her blush only deepened. "I don't know what I would've done without your understanding nature Ajay…"

"Do not think about any would or when or what…I happened to be here at the right time for you and I would have never wanted to change that. I guess it was meant to happen after all." She nodded sweetly after hearing my honest words, but also sighed deeply giving me a sign that something else was on her mind.

"I completely buried all my love I had for them inside me for years…all my positive, gentle and caring emotions have been locked up and dead for so long. And now….now if it weren't for you I wouldn't have anyone else…" The slight sad tone of her voice was evident as she reached for her glass of wine. I for myself have completely forgotten that we poured ourselves a glass. This time we agreed on a white one, a semi – sweet flavour to please Noore's sweet tooth.

"Don't talk like that…I'm here now and as I've already told you, I will stay with you and help you as long as you'll want me to after we return home, we agreed on that, don't you remember? And when you'll…" I gulped heavily, my heart getting heavier as I prepared to voice out the thing that scared me. "When you'll meet someone in the future who you'll possibly love, and not only as a friend…you will be truly happy again. Believe me."

I wanted the best for her but saying this really pained me…extremely. She stopped twirling the liquor in her glass and looked up at me with her eyes holding a look like she wanted to cry. She chuckled in a bittersweet way trying to mask up her inner feelings. I could easily read that. "Not that anyone would ever consider me in that way anymore…"

I couldn't believe what she just said. She was not the big shot type of woman who believed she could catch any guy's attention but this was too much for me to hear…it was probably because of all the year of pain and loneliness and being used by other, feeling like she was some unworthy tool. Against my inner fear of being weird and embarrassing myself I decided to retort to her statement and this time…let my heart do the thinking.

"You really think that?" Immediately her glistening eyes were fixed on me. "You really think that no one will ever want you or even consider you in a more that a friend way?" She opened her mouth but was speechless as her sweet red lips only shivered slightly. "You cannot be more wrong." I put my glass on the table and sat on my knees closely in front of her, feeling the heat rising on my face.

"You are a stunning, beautiful…no gorgeous woman who can choose whatever guy she wants! Every guy that is older than 20 and is reasonable enough will turn his head around at you! Believe me when I say that every man would be happy to have you and be with you. With your true attitude – not the broken, nervous, damaged and sad Noore, but the sweet, caring, gentle, talkative, energetic and funny Noore that you really are behind all those layers of pain that you have slowly managed to tear away, you are an extremely beautiful woman in these parts too. Combined with your looks…I don't think that any man who would have his brains in the right place and with whom you would click on, or better said who you would understand, share your views and interest and trust, would be crazy, no mad to not want you and cherish you, love you and make you happy forever." I finished my speech with my heart pumping in my chest, my throat completely dry and with my face hot and red as a chilly.

Noore was only looking at me with her eyes wide open, her cheeks red as some supermassive star before collapsing into a supernova. She licked her lips and gulped down the last bits of moisture she had in her mouth before sipping from her wine again. "Do you really think that Ajay?" Her voice was extremely thin and almost high pitched, which was a bit unusual for her. The stutter was also present creating the image I've grown to know so well.

"Of course. I really, honestly think that…if you went down to the depths of my mind and heart you would find this exact answer for your question." I stated gently but a bit firmly too to reassure her.

She only shook her head like if she was in disbelief. "I don't know what to say…I…" She mumbled and twirled her fingers…I noticed she did it when she was stressed or didn't know what to say. "I feel honoured that you think that…I'm beautiful and all those wonderful things you said about me…to say that I appreciate that would be an understatement. I still cannot understand how some girl could even think of cheating on you…" Now it was my turn to turn even redder. I tried to cover my rising nervousness with a slight chuckle but felt that it didn't help me at all. When she said something like this…I felt my heart doing its own flips in my chest. I already loved her so much and knew that it would only grow stronger over time.

"Don't mention that…I'm glad that you view me like that too. But believe in what I had said. I definitely think, that you'll have someone in your life…in the future who you'll be happy with and you you'll love deeply. You deserve that." We stayed eye locked for minute or two and I had a massive urge to slowly lean to her face, but I luckily supressed that urge inside me.

Instead of that I decided to change the topic. "Do you want you want to go outside, maybe take a walk…maybe to that place where we had our picnic? Like when we ventured in the arena?" She giggled at my offer obviously remembering our arena stroll and our first talk that didn't involve any immediate danger to her or to me.

"Yeah I remember…the environment was not the best, but I remember I was very glad to see you. I didn't know it back then, but I guess I anticipated your arrival, because I had no one else and I felt deep inside me that I can trust you and somehow rely on you. And it proved right. And not only that." She took my hand and used her charm to get me to stand from the couch lazily. "Come on, we'll finish our wine later." She was so sweet and spontaneous.

Hours slowly turned to days and days turned to weeks…our little "dates" were only growing in number or you could say frequency of them and in their length. Not that the previous ones were short, but I sometimes felt that I've lost track of time…that's how good it felt to be with her. My duties with the Golden Path…well, they were falling behind the planned schedule a bit, but nevertheless the progress was showing already. The Golden Path was slowly capturing the northern region, this one being harder to conquer due to the high skill level of Pagan's elite guards. The drift between Sabal and Amita was only growing wider…in the end I chose to support Sabal more, because simply put his ideals and mostly his approach to dealing with "things" in general seemed much more reasonable and logic than Amita's. She had her own qualities, but her aggressive stance made me almost fear her in some moments. In the end, the Golden Path was doing well, which gave me a sense of satisfaction, but on the other hand in some situations I grew more suspicious and careful of their increasing influence…the only reason behind this was of course Noore…my sweet beautiful Noore…well not mine, but at least I could regard her like that in my dreams, couldn't I? I feared that the growing successes of the Golden Path will bring them closer to finding out that she is alive…and not being prepared for this situation would only bring consequences that I don't want to even think of. But in the end, everything was…well…well, not only just well, Noore was fully back in her old self. Not that she wasn't much better before, but you can't undergo such…change in your life after years of living in literal hell in days. Our dates…they would always end up with me staying with her overnight, both of us having like a sleepover – having late night talks, enjoying the time we had on our hands. I've been happier in my entire life. During one of the warmer evenings we decided to do something different….

"And there on the left…there, exactly, that's the Orion constellation. With its brightest star Rigel, the one in the bottom right corner…I remember it's like 50 000 times shinier than our Sun…" Noore was pointing to the sky, full of stars, the constellations very clear and visible to us with no clouds we had the perfect conditions to count all the stars that we could see.

I didn't know where this idea came from, probably from her, she could be so crazy in a good way…anyway we were laying on large blanket in our usual casual home clothing just a few meters from the cabin, thanks to the more warmer evening we had a chance to experience…a bit unusual for Kyrat, but summer was slowly coming, so it made sense.

Noore started to describe all the shining dots of lights in the sky, with such enthusiasm that I had to really concentrate on her to catch all of her educational phrases. She had so much passion in everything she did. I could quietly follow her and ask her some questions…I didn't know where this knowledge of hers came from, not that she was trying to look like some physicist or astronomer, but she definitely knew the constellations quiet well.

"And there we have Sirius…the brightest star, apart from our Sun of course." She giggled and I could only adore her with my eyes and smile. "My grandpa showed me so much…he taught me many things, his way of spending time was really unique." She sighed while having a content smile on her face.

"Were you really close to him? You learned all these facts about constellations from him as well?" She snuggled deeper into her light fluffy cardigan. She was so cute in her own special way. Undeniably.

"Yes…he was amazing…I remember it was very hard for me when he died when I was 15. It was a first hard lecture from life." I intertwined my fingers with hers, covering her left hand with both of my hands, giving her my significant smile when I wanted to comfort her. She knew it already and only squeezed her hand to mine harder. It was a sign she understood the meaning of my actions without me even saying a word about it.

"But when I had the chance to spent time with him, it has always been an uttermost joyful experience for me…he had so many lifelong knowledge and experience and what was the best of all, he wanted to share it with me…and with my brother of course." She chucked quietly.

"He took us to visit India and Nepal with him. And not once. He always used to say that it was important to know our heritage. He was a traditionalist."

"Your heritage?" I asked and she let go of my hand turned her head at me. Her flawless features could be seen in tiny bits of light from the skies above us.

"Yeah he was originally from India. Even my father was born here. I mean not here in this country, but in India." I gave her my questioning look and she only giggled. But I quickly got it together in my head and understood the meaning of her words behind all the heritage words.

"I guess it's pretty obvious that my ancestors at least from my father's side weren't from Europe." She giggled again at my opened mouth, with me trying to organize it all in my head. Of course her…looks indicated that at least one of her parents wasn't originally from Europe or US, but now I was pretty confused. I wasn't that good in geography and when it was connected to I guess history like this…it made the whole thing much harder for me.

"I guess you have heard about it somewhere before and my grandpa always insisted on me to remember it so I know it pretty well now for years, but my father was born in India because his parents – my grandma and grandpa were descendants of the once large Persian community that lived in India. You may have heard about the Persian Empire and the Persian culture and all that – that's exactly it. My grandpa's ancestors were from ancient Persia, and if the historians are correct, which I think they are, once the large ancient empire collapsed and was ultimately conquered by the Arabs – Muslims, most of the original Persian population fled from what is Iran today to the east – to India. Or what is known to be India in these days. That is the story from my grandpa about his origins and his ancestors."

I knew it was something like this! With her beautiful looks which could cause a multiple car crash on times – square in NY, she had to inherit it from somewhere. Persian…my Persian goodness…that sounds maybe funny, but for me she's definitely that. But one thing still didn't make sense. "So I guess your grandpa insisted on inheriting these information and keeping on with the old pride of coming from and ancient empire, am I correct?" She nodded. "Then why weren't you born in India?"

She repeated her action giving me the sign that she's gonna explain it all for me. "Well quite simple. Although my grandpa loved the traditional stuff and insisted on us knowing about our heritage, he would never put his family in danger…if you remember from history, India was a part of the British colonial empire, and during the British rule, the Persian community in India was doing very well, they were definitely preferred by the British government to carry out some administrative tasks and stuff like that, it was pretty good back then…but after WWII India rebelled and forced its independence from Britain and you can imagine that the situation for all the Persian communities worsened a lot with that so most of them exiled India, most of them went to UK or US. And that is the case of my grandparents – my father was born in India but when he was like 4 years old, grandpa decided to emigrate from India to US. And then of course years later my dad met my mom in US and then I was born."

"So I presume your mom's ancestors weren't originally from India too or somewhere like that?" She flashed her stunning red lips at me and continued.

"No, she wasn't. She was a classic American woman, but I guess I inherited most of my looks from my dad from grandpa of course, everyone have always told me that." Her enchanting looks proved exactly what she said. She held some delicate mixture of her exotic ancestorage and her mother's traditional American – European features…not many of them, but those she has only make her even more beautiful. I couldn't resist the urge and tease her a bit, so I leaned close to her face, closer than I had managed to notice.

"Yeah you definitely did, but there are some things that make you somewhat different…in a good way of course…" I smirked at her studying her face closely. Her eyes got bigger and wider by the minimal distance between us and her lips stayed together firmly, not releasing a single sigh. "You lips are definitely inherited from your mother, I'm pretty sure about that, I've never seen any woman in Kyrat or other countries in this region have lips like you have…" And boy I was damn right about that. Her magnificent full rosy red lips cutaway like a small heart could draw everyone's attention like a unreachable cherry on a tree in your garden. Those lips that haunted me in my dreams for the last few days. And the exact lips which I now dream of…well, back to reality. "Another thing. The light tone of your skin colour, mostly on your face. That is something different too. I can imagine that you didn't inherit that from your dad and grandpa too, am I right?"

She nodded not giving out a single word her cheeks getting redder and redder. I too was on the verge on breaking down or literally peppering her face with kisses, my face heating up real fast, the only thing stopping it was my intention to speak continuously. "And you also got freckles on your cheeks and nose…not many of them, just a tiny bit but it definitely can be seen if you look closely…it must be the combination of the Kyrati Sun and your paler face…" I looked deeply into her eyes for a few second before I couldn't let my eyes drift down to her lips. I noticed that she did exact same thing as me, but after that she smiled widely at me and let the sparkle in her orbs really show. "You picked the exact features right Ajay. I didn't know you can be so observant."

"When it comes to things and people I really know and care about as every man I really can be." I leaned back to vent my flushed face a bit, too scarred that something…something huge would probably happen if I didn't lean back. Something that would probably, just probably…no, surely ruin our nice close friendship. A special one, but still friendship.

"I don't know when you'll eventually not surprise me anymore, it's like you have all these unique features that just make you…" I could easily smell the lovely scent of her hair…what kind of shampoo she uses? The one thing that was recognizable was definitely…cinnamon….100% sure that it's cinnamon. But it was so lovely on her. "So special in your own unique way...Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, my father and grandpa. After grandpa emigrated to US when my dad was 4 years old he chose to live in California, or rather said it was the first place that he had a chance to go to, it was pretty open back then and not so overpopulated back then as he used to say."

"So you spent your childhood and study years in California?" She leaned back to the bench and looked at the stars in the sky, as if she was trying to count them.

"You can say that pretty much, yeah. I was a pretty proactive kid…I used to do many things, many post school activities and stuff which led me only to want more. On high school…high school…" She chuckled and I felt the intensity to ask her something a bit teasing in a moment.

"What about high school? Did you get bombarded with love cards and letters and invites for dates every day?" I had to resist the urge to tease her more and hold the built up laughter.

"Ajay!" Her cheeks got pink again. "What?" I tried to sound defensively. "I'm just saying the truth, am I not?" She cocked her head to the other side for a second before turning her eyes back to me. She sighed and rolled her eyes a sign that she didn't want to get teased anymore. "Not like that…at least not that much…" She trailed off trying for me not to catch it. But I did.

"But you did get asked out on dates and received plenty of cards on Valentine's Day, didn't you?" She slapped my hand playfully almost as if she was trying to be romantic.

"OK, I admit it, I did. But there were girls who got more than me…the cheerleader type of girls, you know them. I was popular and known, but maybe more for my pro – active stance to things, I was elected a student president for two years and kept pretty good grades. My older brother was an inspiration for me too…so naturally, the chose to study law after high school was pretty obvious and logical too. I had many choices to choose from, even medicine, but I refused it as I always felt more comfortable talking to people and helping them this way than curing their bodies – I would be too scared to do that. But after high school I committed myself fully to the university life, keeping the social contact and friends around, extending my contacts with people I knew I could work with later, but I avoided the nasty, childish university life that some, rather said most of my colleagues led. And as I've already told you during university I avoided boys and relationships, after the experiences from high school and the first few months on university where I still remained in one from high school, I decided to give it a rest. Although I got many invites on dates again, I refused them all. None of the guys that have asked seemed reasonable and adult enough…and I had male friends of course, but those guys who asked me on dates, they wanted me just for my looks…and the guys that were my friends, they were either already in a relationship or they were too nerdy to ever think about that."

We both roared in laughter. I enjoyed her talking immensely. The sweet tone of her voice only added to it…the smooth colour of her voice that has always flavoured her speeches made her look only more adorable in my eyes. "And after graduating with excellent results…" She just couldn't get around without it…but I knew she meant it only to tease me a bit and I adored the fact how intelligent and educated she really was. "I started to work in a law firm and decided to concentrate my professional efforts on the topic of human rights…which led me to meeting Michael later and then…you know the rest of the story…" She hung her head low, her dark locks framing her cheeks.

In this absolute silence that surrounded us I felt extremely content with her…moments like this filled me so much calm energy that I needed in this gruesome environment. Just sitting together on a bench like this, talking about our lives, our childhood and study years…I felt that I want to spend the upcoming years like this…and not alone, but with this enchanting being by my side. Maybe I sound crazy, that's what love does, but I really mean it.

"What about you Ajay? Were you a lazy person in school or did you have excellent grades like me?" A small smile played on her lips, her eyes holding that significant sparkle that she had almost every time now when we were talking together.

"Well as you can assume, I was not the brightest bulb in the universe…" She laughed at my own criticism of myself. 'Gosh, hopefully I'm not gonna totally embarrass myself.' I thought. "But it wasn't that bad, of course I didn't have your brains and skills, but I managed to do pretty well if you can call it like that on high school. I remember when I was little the other kids resented me, because I was different, if you know what I mean and I didn't have a father, so that was another thing…maybe it was just because the case of the school I was in, but who knows. My mom was alone the whole time, it was pretty difficult for us in the beginning…but we survived it all, luckily. After I finished high school I didn't know what to do...the situation was not so bright…"

"What was the matter?" Noore interrupted me sweetly and leaned closer to me only for me to feel her amazing perfume once again.

"Finances were pretty tough for us…mom lost her job and I wanted to continue to study something with economy, finances or management…something like that, but I wasn't successful in applying for the scholarship so I had to find a job and postpone my personal ambitions. I worked really hard to help my mom and ultimately myself too, I laid aside some sum of money every month to achieve my dreams. Luckily my mom found a job and I was able to go study commercials and management…later than I had originally planned but better late than never. And after finishing the school I started working in a software oriented company where I focused on the economic – commercial – managing aspects, of course under the lead of a head manager…life seemed pretty good, but then the whole Liza "thing" happened and then my breakdown, military, my mom's death…and then…"

I reached out my hand and covered her delicate palm with my rough one gently. "And then I came here and all those crazy unexpected things happened…which of course involved you. But in the best possible meaning. Your friendship has been the best thing in my life since I got the job I had after I had finished my studies." At the mention of friendship a short almost uncatchable hurt glance flashed through her eyes but when I finished her gorgeous lips turned up into a huge smile.

"It's seems that our lives have been very turbulent at some points…we had our ups and downs, times when we were really happy and our lives were filled with joy, but then we experienced a dark storm that drenched what he had…but now I feel that whatever way our lives are gonna turn out, whatever sharp corner we will have on our way and whichever road our lives are gonna choose, I think that we'll manage pretty well…I believe that after every horrible occurrence that hurt us, maybe in my case it was more than…let's say hurt and horrible something more…vulgar would be suitable, there is always something new waiting ahead of us that is going to bring happiness and joy in some form to both of us. You taught me that."

I returned her action and listened closely to every one of her word. I didn't mind the darkness that surrounded us…after my eyes adapted to the darkness I had no problem seeing her beside me, and what was most important observing her closely, like if she was already mine. "I love hearing that from you. I believe in it too…absolutely, 100%."

I stood up and suggested for us return inside. She obliged happily saying that she already wanted to stretch her body on her comfortable mattress. As I watched her gliding inside only one thing that added up to my consent with her words… 'I believe in it as much as you Noore…and apart from that I still keep my small personal dream with it too.'


End file.
